You could leave life right now. What would make you sad and regretful?

A long time ago, I had a good friend. We had been co-workers and continued our friendship after we both left that company. She was a wonderful person. Her heart was big and she was a bright star in the sky. She loved her family and friends and gave of herself. She was a creative artist and created amazing stained-glass art that you can find here and there around town.

I moved away and we lost touch. When I moved back to this same town, I wondered about her, but didn’t have a phone number anymore. Search engines didn’t have a phone number either. No social media posts. I remembered which street she lived on, but after a couple of decades all I remembered was a house with a circular driveway.

I thought about her often.

Several months ago, her daughter found me on LinkedIn and gave me her mom’s phone number. I left a voicemail on my friend’s landline.

No reply.

My insecurities kicked in. No reply is a reply. It’s NO.

But maybe she didn’t get my message?

My wounds kicked-in. Rejection! Nope, no reply means NO.

A couple of weeks ago her daughter messaged me with an old picture of all of us. Oh, we were so young!

Me: What a great picture! Thank you for sharing it with me. Please tell your mom hi. I left a message on her phone a while back.

Her: I’m sorry, I assumed you had probably heard somehow… I’m heartbroken to share that my amazing mamma passed away…

I’m a hermit. An introvert. I didn’t hear about her illness.

And now my life is less bright and I’m left with a regret that could have been easily averted.

I’m feeling so sad. My friend died, so I’m very sad. Plus...

I reacted from my wounds instead of listening to my inner self reminding me of what a wonderful and kind woman she was, and knowing she would have loved to hear from me.

What kind of sadness does that drown me in?

You could leave life right now. Your wounds keep you from being your best self.

Ask yourself if it’s better to risk another rejection than to live the rest of your life with another regret.

If I had it to do over again, I would be a pest. I would act like a kitten or puppy demanding attention, never letting up until I got somewhere.

Lotsa hugs,

Peg McMahan, HHP CHt LMT

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