Are you in control?

We try to be in control – this is our normal human reaction. We like to know what is happening all the time, and what we expect to happen in the near future. It keeps us safe. But what happens if we fall a little short of controlling everything? Or, in my case, everyone.

Becoming a parent was an eye-opening experience for me. I tried hard to ensure children did what I needed them to do. No wonder I have been disappointed – many times.

The advice my older self would give to my younger self would probably sound like this:

a)?????Don’t be naive, there is no way we can ever control our children – they just have a mind of their own (can you feel it? My wisdom comes from traumatising personal experience)

b)????Children are children – sometimes (or most of the times) they don’t behave a certain way. Our society has to just deal with it and let them be kids

c)?????Give yourself a break – your child will be fine, you will be fine, all of this will be fine… one day. Don’t ask me when.

In our modern society, being in control is a badge of honour we proudly display. We schedule parties at least three weeks in advance, we plan and overplan our finances, we even propose how we want our own funeral to happen. There is no margin left for spontaneous actions – we endeavour to be in control of everything.

But we cannot control everything because we cannot control everyone. And no one better to teach us this valuable lesson than our children. ?

But maybe it is a good thing!

Since I started not planning my weekends, I feel I can do what I really want to do in the moment. Since I stopped controlling my children’s every move, I have more fun with them, and somehow, they study better too. Since I stopped expecting my life to look a certain way, I feel it looks better than I have ever imagined.

I admit, a certain level of control can often be necessary, and it may feel good. But embracing the unexpected is even better! Take it from me – the ex planning-addict and control freak.

I seriously believe that being flexible is the key to sanity and bliss. Staying open and letting life surprise you, even when it may not feel like a pleasant surprise at first, can enrich your life experience. Outside of comforts and controls – this is where true living begins, for you and for everyone around you ??