Are You in Control?
Michael Gervais
Performance Psychologist working with the best in the world ? Host, Finding Mastery Podcast ? Architect, Finding Your Best Mindset Masterclass ? Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece
Late for a meeting in Manhattan, you push the crosswalk button to speed the painfully slow traffic signal. The light turns green. You cross the street, turn into your building, step into the elevator and hit the close door button to compensate for that annoying guy who jumped in late and caused the doors to reopen. You finally arrive in your office, a little overheated from the mad dash. You dial the thermostat down to a cool 67 degrees.?
Each time you hit one of those buttons and get a response, you are rewarded with a small jolt of dopamine, the feel good chemical in your brain. You are reminded that you are in control, the master of your own destiny.?
But are you really?
All those buttons you pushed along the way might have made you feel better, but they just provided the illusion of control.?
The majority of crosswalk buttons in New York were disconnected more than 20 years ago after the adoption of computer-controlled traffic signals. The close-door feature on elevators faded into obsolescence a few years after the enactment of the Americans With Disabilities Act in 1990, which required that elevator doors remain open long enough for anyone who uses crutches, a cane or wheelchair to get on board—but the buttons remained in place.
How many other fake buttons are you poking in your life?? Where else in your life are you trying to exert control where you have none??
High-performance in sport, business, parenting – any craft of life -- requires that you be able to differentiate what is and is not within your control. When you place attention on things outside your control, you take your focus and energy away from what you can control.
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The more attention you devote to the things you cannot control, the less attention and impact you have for the aspects of performance that you can control.?
People who are extraordinary at what they do don’t waste their internal resources trying to influence conditions that they don’t have complete leverage over. Instead, they spend the majority of their time working toward mastering what is within their control.
Take inventory of the buttons you are pressing, and which ones are actually operating.
With fire,
MG
Dad | ET, CF. CDCR | Security Professional | Graphic Designer
2 年Control what you can, don't worry about the rest.
Empowering Therapists and Educators to Optimize Kids' Resilience | Yoda of Anxiety & Big Feels | Busting Poor Practices
2 年Important post. I do a lot of work on this very topic, identifying the things we can and cannot control and focusing our energy where it is most valuable - where we can make a change. For the rest, it's learning acceptance (and tolerating associated distress!). Great reminder. Thanks for sharing!
I bootstrapped a Franchise Business from 0 to 8 figures in 5 years | Coach | Speaker | City Board Member
2 年I love the way you made your point Michael Gervais. I have lived my life with the principle that I will be very intentional about where I put my energy. For me, my time is my most important currency and I use it wisely by the correct use of my energy. There is so much good in this world, to experience and enjoy. This is also related to something you'd said earlier about how we can only have love or anxiety. That statement always stays with me ?. Thank you for amazing content.
Mentoring people to regain their health, reinvigorate their purpose, and create peaceful loving relationships...
2 年I keep pressing the buttons because the illusion of control helps me to stay in control ??
Helping purpose-driven leaders close the gap between MTP vision and IRL results. Health - Mindset - Performance. 15+ years in coaching. For leaders and teams committed to grow ?? for more positive impact. #GrowthMindset
2 年Love it! Makes you also less emotionally reactive (that's also performance-costly) - why would you get frustrated with the things that you have no control of and aren't influenced in any way by your frustrations? That's why I also don't talk about politics much :)