Will You Consider Joining My "Hold Your Nose" Coalition?
All POVs are welcome…
Several weeks ago, in an IMAGINE , I asked: What are you doing to advance civil dialogue, highlight shared values, and (the money shot) have you lost a friend in a disagreement??
My remedy was my "patented" "KNEE JERK ALERT," that is... "Don't fall for the obvious comments and remarks that inflame and enrage, shut down discourse, kill dialogue, and lose us friends."??
Based on the supportive comments and shares, it would seem to have resonated…but frankly, I am more depressed than ever about the issue of civil dialogue. Although the fast-approaching U.S. Presidential Election has me on edge, other elections and strife…all over the world…contribute mightily to my dark mood. In addition to the number of discussions I've had with people in work environments, universities, and other places of gathering all over the world who find it hard to create and hold common ground with friends—never mind colleagues, fellow students, peers, and others.?
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Finally, as I mentioned above, this issue goes way beyond politics…the tip of the spear may be that we need to think about the younger generations and how we teach and inspire them in a world where open and respectful discussion and disagreement no longer have a benchmark.?
So…what's with the "HOLD YOUR NOSE COALITION?"
Here is where I will begin with U.S. politics…(no sides PLEASE…!!!!).
Bottom line: As I travel around the U.S., Zoom/Teams and whatever with folks, Facetime and call or go to parties, lunches, and dinners…more and more I hear (regardless of which candidate is in discussion), "I'm going to hold my nose and vote for… I don't see any other choice."?
As I heard this sentiment (for the umpteenth time from totally opposing POVs), I got excited…COMMON GROUND. It is a place to begin for people who feel they have no choice…are not happy about it but still believe it's important to vote. They are all saying the same thing…and holding their noses…?
Now…imagine that the "NOSE HOLDERS" form a coalition. Vote as you will, but let's agree…given that none of us are thrilled…given that (my bet) there is a lot of actual common ground…How about we all agree that we will hold our candidates accountable for what we are really worried about (again...my bet)? There is lots of common ground…Now imagine that this multi-partisan group raises its voice after the election in support of all that it agrees on and in protest of what gets conveniently left on the political cutting room floor.
The outcome? MAKE IT WORK…Own that. Get behind it. Even if it's not your candidate, not your POV…continue holding your nose and take accountability for driving a result, not just a walkout.??
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This has a huge historical precedent, but it's never been a movement. What do you say???
NOSE HOLDERS…spread your civility everywhere you go!!! In the workplace, discuss…debate...and take apart strategy, tactics, and whatever. Have a POV…but if the discussion goes against your position, HOLD YOUR NOSE and get on with it. Make it work. Own it.?
University students…it's the same thing. Whatever the issue, there are two…three…ten sides: HOLD YOUR NOSES, find the common ground, and be accountable—joint accountability. Everyone owns a piece.?
Lest you think this is mere KUMBAYAH….let me quote from an article written by Nora Delaney for the Harvard Kennedy School in the spring of 2019…she said:
"However, detached civility-as-politeness is not the same thing as the civility that drives principled debate and civil discourse. "It's important to distinguish between two senses of civility," Archon Fung , the Winthrop Laflin McCormack Professor of Citizenship and Self-Government , has written. "The first is a superficial kind of civility—being nice, refraining from insults or ad-hominem kinds of argument. The second is a deeper, more important (and older, for what that's worth) sense of civility that is about behaving in ways that are necessary for cooperative projects such as schools and democratic societies to work well. This deeper sense of civility comes from the Latin civilitas—relating to citizens. Civility in this sense is behavior that is important for good citizenship."
And good citizenship is perhaps especially important at this time of widening ideological divides and growing political polarization."
See the point?
Clearly, this is more than just a problem of our times. We just never learned:?
"It was the first and most striking characteristic of Socrates never to become heated in discourse, never to utter an injurious or insulting word – on the contrary, he persistently bore insult from others and thus put an end to the fray."??—Epictetus
Or, in my parlance, old SOCRATES held his nose….
Ready to join in?
#HOLDYOURNOSE
Business Consultant @ cfquirin.com | Digital Marketing Certificate
3 周I have been hit with losing a few “friends “. One because of her overwhelming support of trump. One was dis-appointed with a comment I responded to that was so outrageous I had to respond We are in a very bad situation because of a failed president/dictator #myopinion
Owner Host Operator of Self Discovery Wisdom Podcasts
3 周Taking ownership, wish more would. We have to take responsibility in how we present and in how open we are to receive and interact. Open-mindedness, inquiry, and a willingness to understand even if you do not agree, needs to be in play to bring about balance and open our minds, ears and eyes to how we can serve each other with grace and respect. .
Managing Director CleverBD - Government Pipeline Architects
3 周I love the idea of civility. Socrates was correct, in debating ideas, controlling emotions makes your point of view more powerful. However, there are times when differences go beyond the debate of ideas where we look for common ground. Sometimes, they rise to the level of right vs. wrong, and then people either stand up for the side they believe is right, or they lose the opportunity to live the life they believe in. Ask yourself, was the Boston Tea Party an act of civility? Was the Revolutionary War an act of civility? Was the Civil War an act of civility? Was WWII an act of civility? All these events started as a debate about someone's ideas on how we should live our lives. However, once it became clear that the differences were far greater than the common ground, they were resolved by other unfortunate means. It is sad, but our history, and the democracy we enjoy today, were not fashioned by civility, they were fashioned by these violent upheavals between people who came to believe somethings are right, and some are wrong. Civility is nothing more than a means to sustain some peace and respite between the upheavals. So, I am all for it, for as long as we can make it work - but I ask myself every day, is it still working?
Empowering Brands with the Direct Media Recording and Streaming from Products with Consumer Engagement | ZIPPYAR CEO | Revolutionizing Digital Marketing in Pharma, Retail, and CPG for Today's Generation.
3 周How can we “Hold Our Nose” in the presence of such threat? Help me to undertand how can people stay in the sidelines and choose to work together with those sponsoring White Supremacist Agenda? https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/angelicafwhite_democracy-activity-7257024110499696641-RV_D?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios
Identifies as 6'6" NBA guard.
3 周I'm working on a philosophical novel (one's first, I'm told, is always somewhat autobiographical, whether intended or not) whose working title is "Equally Uncomfortable Everywhere," and indeed growing up with mixed messages from my "somewhat" dysfunctional family, I had from a very early age to figure things out for myself. They way I formed my own take on thinks - from religion to social values - was to actively seek out those who disagreed with my current perspective, always a WIP. Similarly, I became better faster at chess and tennis by losing a lot of games to stronger opponents. Recently, I have been watching a YouTube series called Surrounded, in which a pundit, e.g., Ben Shapiro, sits at a table surrounded 100% by people who oppose his views. They compete to sit in the chair opposite the pundit to ask any and all challenging questions, until the group flags them away. I think we should all listen more than we speak, and learn from our strongest opponents. And never be too comfortable, even/especially within groups with which we identify.