Are you committed to safety or growth?
Safety and growth are polar opposites. However everything in this world is relative. There can be no Sun without the Moon. There can be no light without dark. There can be no Summer without Winter. I think you get the point.
We often talk about safety and growth as opposites that oppose each other. In reality they do oppose each other but, I look at it more as a balancing act more so than complete opposites.
When we grow we push against our personal boundaries of safety. When we choose safety we don’t necessarily hinder growth. We just stop it.
I am reminded of the story of Will Hunting from the movie Good Will Hunting. Will was a literal genius. There was not a logical question that he could not answer. However the irony of the situation was that he was lost. Will couldn’t answer the simplest question. That question was what do you want to do with your life.
You see as part of the story of Will Hunting’s life. You begin to realize that there are some deep-seated issues within him. These are issues that cannot be resolved by being a genius.
I will get into those issues later on.
Allow me to introduce myself.
Hi, my name is Dennis Seda. I’m a copywriter specializing in helping mentors market and sell their products.
Every mentor will deal with this balance of safety versus growth for their clients. The reason that people have mentors is to push them.
However the most difficult question a mentor will ask themselves when working with a client. Is how can I be effective in helping this person while at the same time not making them feel like they’re not good enough.
Here is the big hurrah. Safety is only as good as its ability to not hinder growth.
In essence, as long as a person continues to grow and can feel safe in that process they are at their best.
Below are three strategies which will bring safety and growth into alignment.
- You can’t know everything.
The story of Will Hunting shows us that there’s no way to know everything. While most of us would be afraid to admit this truth. I recommend to use it as a catapult towards being a better person.
You cannot change the not knowing for if you do it will drive you crazy.
Acknowledge what you know, except what you don’t and keep going.
2. Safety can be rooted in fear
In the case of Will Hunting he was afraid of commitment. Will grew up in foster care. So he felt abandoned by his parents.
As a result he doesn’t have close relationships with anyone for fear that they will leave them. This decision results in Will being a loner.
Let us be honest right now. We are all afraid of some thing. Our fears are are rooted in the reality of our own mortality.
What does that mean?
It means that all of our fears can be tied back to our fear of death.
So while we may want to be safe. We know that safety is only going to be short-lived because we're going to have to face the fear. At some point regardless of how we personally feel.
I know for me I have a fear of death. I do like to reframe it though and say that I don’t have a fear of death but, rather a fear of not living the life I want. So I try to live my life in a way that gives me the freedom to choose.
3. No regrets
Very few of us can say we don’t have regrets in life. I don’t try to bring up painful memories for anybody by saying that.
Let’s look to the future, if we use this little adage for future decisions. We can begin to live a life in alignment with our values and intentions.
We can go to sleep at night with a greater sense of peace over our souls.
For Will Hunting the no regret adage applied to his relationship with the woman he loved.
He knew that in order to be with her. He was going to have to leave everything. He knew behind.
A tough decision for any man. However when you know what you want and you’re willing to make the sacrifices to get it. The decision is easy.
You are committed to the decision.
So, what’s next?
Well if you enjoy this content go ahead and connect with me on LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/dennis-seda-3b988317