Are You Coachable...?

Or is the better question, "is your performance improvement based upon how coachable you are or how good your coach is?"

There was a child that had just started a new school grade with a completely new teacher. Within the first few weeks the parents realized there was a problem, their child was coming home with poor grades and an increasingly poor attitude. When they asked their child what was going on the child responded defiantly, "the teacher doesn't like me at all!" The father, aghast, starts to detail a process on how to get people to like you and the mom, with a wry little smile, listens and waits. When the father had finished, the mom says, "It's definitely important to understand how to get people to like us like your father said."

"So our problem honey is not that the teacher may not like you, but your attitude about her not liking you. And that attitude is keeping you from learning what everyone is able to learn."

She followed up with, "let me ask you, is your teacher teaching you the same thing she's teaching everyone else in the class?", the child responds, "yes". The Mom continues, "so even though the teacher may not like you, she's still teaching you the same thing as everyone one else, correct?" The child again, responds with a, "yes". "So our problem honey is not that the teacher may not like you, but your attitude about her not liking you. And that attitude is keeping you from learning what everyone else is able to learn." " Last question", she states, "who is responsible for our attitudes", the child concedes, "we are mom".

Ever wonder why some people take years to show growth and progress while others seem to be growing and progressing yearly? Much like that child many of us can be our own worst enemies. Having a great coach like that mom and dad team is wonderful. Having the attitude of a receptive child while being coached is priceless!

As an Executive Coach, over the years I have noticed certain "traits" and "behaviors" of the most coachable people I've worked with. Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order:

They are on offense when given feedback. They understand that when given feedback, as human beings, we can get emotional and thus miss the point of the feedback. They check their emotions by asking questions on how to integrate the feedback best.

They place blame squarely on themselves. They are not concerned with "fault", just on the impact they are having or want to make.

As a follow up to that,

They are willing to be vulnerable. They are secure enough to admit when they are wrong. They understand that in order to grow they will need a little humility to enhance or rebuild some relationships. In order to do that, they will need to change some behaviors and attitudes.

They are open to experimenting with new behaviors. The acquisition of new skills is only possible when we try new behaviors! Truly coachable people will try new behaviors in response to feedback.

They are able to maintain these new behaviors over time. When we first learned to drive, where did they teach us to put our hands? Correct, "10 & 2"! And where were your hands the last time you drove? Don't answer that...! Suffice it to say, probably NOT "10 & 2". But if while driving you happen to hit some black ice...where do you think your hands will automatically go? Yup, "10 & 2". Why? Because in times of stress and turmoil we rarely rise to our "expected" selves but generally default to our lowest amount of training!

So too, coachable people understand that coaching can have a major impact on people in the short-term, but over time with stress and turmoil, we can tend to fall back into unproductive behaviors. So they have a set of very strong set of "principles" to keep them focused!

As you look through this list ask yourself, "am I truly and authentically all of these?" If the answer is "yes", then my friend you are well on your way to becoming the leader you aspire to be. If the answer is "no", that's EVEN BETTER! Because at a minimum, you have started the process of recognizing where you need to begin.

If internal coaching is not working, consider getting an external coach (such as myself) to help you or your teams assess the situation. Leaders, how can you apply this "check-list" to better assess your people and take action?

Roland Gilbert - Your "People" Problem Solver

 I don’t put talent into people. I help let it out. Contact me TODAY and let’s get you MOVING on the right track!

My mission is to coach individuals for intentional, authentic living. This mission is accomplished through workshops, speaking, writing and coaching. For over 15 years I have trained leaders and have helped people grow.

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