“ You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore, before you decide to be happy. ” - this is a story about loss...

Two days ago, it was " World Mental Health Day ". I saw many conversations online supporting the issue and creating awareness. I personally know it can get very overwhelming during these hard times ( if you are living in a country like Sri Lanka), you really need to keep your mind healthier just as your body. This is the personal story I kept for 10 years to myself and when I felt I am ready, I shared it with everyone a few years ago. Today, I am keeping this note on LinkedIn , this is a story about loss...

We’ve all heard the story of loss. We’re familiar with the stages of grief, shock, anger, and eventual acceptance. But what happens when this isn’t just an abstract process? When it’s real. What do you do, practically, when someone you love leaves you? How do you go on?

It was my mother’s birthday in 2007 November 28th, When my father told me that my sister had been killed in a bomb blast ( Nolimit, Nugegoda ), I couldn’t breathe. The days, weeks, and months that followed are a blur. I didn’t leave my house for months, except heading to Colombo leaving all our memories in my hometown after my father passed away on my sister’s birthday in February following year. It felt like my whole world had collapsed in on me.

But I’ve learned from living through the grief of losing them. We all have so much to be grateful for, no matter what has happened in our lives. I have so much to be grateful for. I feel the pain of my sister’s death so often that sometimes it’s really hard to keep it up, to feel positive, and to move forward. But I am grateful for the time we had together as kids, I am grateful for the last time I met her & gave her a big hug, and told her about my first girlfriend. Still remember watching “Om Shanthi Om” with her and falling in love with this new actress Deepika Padukone ( and from that day onwards love for Deepika was inevitable, today she's the founder of The Live Love Laugh Foundation , which aims to give hope to every person experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression. LLL’s programs and initiatives aim to create awareness, normalize conversations and reduce the stigma associated with mental illness. ). I am so grateful for those memories... We can all find something in our not-so-great times that we can be grateful for… a lesson learned, a new friend, or a newfound strength. Don’t forget how powerful that is.

In life, when you seem to be in the right place at the right time. It seems like luck, but you can create your own luck. Surround yourself with people who push you to do more, to be better, and whom you come alive with. Put yourself out there, and do something that scares you every month, and you will be astounded by the opportunities you create for yourself. Don’t wait for luck to come along and push you into something exciting, because it may never happen. Go out there and create some serendipity for yourself. The only reason I now have the privilege to work on my own ventures is that I put myself out there. And if you chase that thing you love, opportunities will follow. They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in something. So do what you love and see where you get to, at least you’ll enjoy it along the way. Make time for yourself to do what you love, one day you’ll be thanking yourself for having done so.

Don’t do things that make you unhappy. It takes a lot of concentrated effort to say no to and let go of things that aren’t helpful to you, but your life genuinely is too short not to. This has been my story since the day my sister & father passed away. And it’s not been easy to follow. I’ve been in very bad places doing things I didn’t want to do, and it was easier to stay, but it wasn’t helping me and I was unhappy. So I left. I left a relationship that was damaging my confidence, I left an organization founded by me that was causing me & close friends so many tears. And that was scary. Really scary. But you know what? I’m in such a better place now. If you’re unhappy, something isn’t right. Figure out what it is and get yourself out of there. You owe it to yourself to stop doing things that make you unhappy.

Finally, Always remember that nothing gives you so much pleasure to see someone else being joyful because of something you’ve done for them. We all have so much to give to others: time, money, knowledge, and advice ( at least your smile ). It’s so easy now to share a little of yourself with those who need it, and it makes life so much fuller. I volunteered for developing communities for the last 13 years in different organizations with several groups, I can be a lifeline for those in need. Unconvinced about volunteering? If you don’t want to give to strangers, why not give to people you know who might need a listening ear or a helping hand? It will enrich not only your life but the lives of those you love. It has been 15 years now… My life changed but the purpose of my life became clearer and defined. Just wanted to share this note to say how grateful I am about the last 15 years and thank you all for being a part of that!

#LessonsLearned #InLife #15YearsLater ( www.lividul.com )

?? : Skye Robertson, Your life story resonated with mine... Decided to share my story in your words. Thank you for being brave. ????