You Can't Use What You Can't Remember

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Ever feel like life keeps bumping your elbow every time you try to make something happen in your life?

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I've lost track of how many times I've introduced someone with autism, ADHD, or both to a new skill or some new knowledge and explained how it can really turn things around for them if and when they apply it.

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Their response is often a defeatist "Yeah, if I remember."

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Memory is one of the least reliable executive functions; it is for me. So why assume we need to count on it to follow through?

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Not to mention the self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmation bias combo platter we're stuffing our faces with.

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We've decided from the start that we're hopeless and helpless when it comes to recalling and using anything new. A part of us wants to prove that we're right about this, so we set out to make it happen.

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A lot of this is subconscious, so you don't even realize what you're doing. When you tell people, "Yeah, see, I told you," you don't realize that you actually did it to yourself.

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The way I've been able to use new knowledge or new skills is through practice, practice, practice. The way I remember it is by scheduling it as a goal for either an entire day or an entire week.

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Let's say I'm trying on a new belief, like "I'm a good listener (instead of interrupting)," or I'm practicing a new skill, like consciously listening to people. See how those two go together, The belief and the skill?

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Like I said, I make it a goal for the day or the week, and I practice until it's automatic, to the point where I don't have to think about it; I just do it.

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Now, of course, there are other gremlins under the hood, like impatience, shiny objects flying here and there, being at the mercy of your impulses, and a variety of other ways to sabotage yourself in an effort to be a more skillful human.

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Believe me, I get it. I have autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and I've struggled every day of my life with these. I struggle to this day with these, and I ask for help a lot, which is how I get anything done.

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I've tripped over my own disabilities for decades before I knew what was going on. Once I did, I've bent over backwards year after year to find and learn what worked for creating the relationships that I want and the relationships that I need.

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After all these years, I have them, and I also teach what I learned to you so that you don't have to suffer through the learning process like I did.

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So connect with me now so we can get started before the remaining slots in my programs are taken. I look forward to hearing from you, and I'm grateful that you are you. So thanks for being you.