You Can’t Unsee What You Saw on Zoom – And You Shouldn’t Want To.

Over the last 15 months or so, those of us in office jobs got a very different look at our coworkers. Whether it was kids running through the Zoom frame, the dog barking, or an elderly parent with a question, we saw more of each other’s whole lives than we ever used to at the office.

And that’s a good thing.

Of course, we knew before that we all have a life outside of work. But as leaders, sometimes we have blinders on when we only see people at the office. We know, logically, that they juggle outside pressures, but we don’t feel that juggling or the toll it takes.

Employees, also, may feel the need to mask parts of who they are when they’re at work. A Deloitte study found that 61% of employees downplay parts of their lives at work. I wish so much that as companies we could encourage people to be unapologetically themselves – I think we’d all be the beneficiaries of that joy.?

But even as barriers continue to be broken down, the months spent working at home have added a lot of perspective. We can’t unsee what we saw on Zoom this past year. And what we saw is more of the whole person.

That’s why when I think about what the future looks like post-pandemic, it’s about recapturing and appreciating our humanity.

In part, this means enabling people to work the way they want to work. We announced a couple months ago that SmileDirectClub would embrace virtual and flexible work. I wrote here about this decision and here about the human-centric approach that inspired it.

But it’s not just about where we work. There’s a bigger opportunity for leaders in how we engage with and celebrate the people that we lead for their whole selves.

It starts, first and foremost, with taking the time to ask.

Before you request the project update, ask how the person is doing. How’s your family? What’s it like for you now? And really listen to the answer – not listening to formulate the “right” response but listening to really understand the person.

There is real business value in appreciating the humanity and wholeness of people. When we respect the humanity of our people, they in turn give back that humanity when businesses have bumps. This thinking is rooted in mutuality which, in my view, is the key to all aspects of leadership. You get what you give. It is a key aspect of retention.

It’s also key to educate yourself about things that might be affecting people on your team. At SmileDirectClub, we sent out playbooks to help people educate themselves about Black History Month, AAPI Heritage Month, Pride Month and Juneteenth, and understand relevant issues and concerns. This helped people be more aware of what their colleagues might be feeling and have more context versus just a potentially limited perspective.

But that’s just a start. You have to ask and give people the psychological safety to answer.

I was talking to someone recently after a group discussion about George Floyd’s murder. She shared how much it meant to her that her leader, who is white, admitted he didn’t know what it was like for her and invited her to tell him. She said, “I got to explain what I was feeling and then I felt better that we had this shared experience.”

Leaders too often think it’s the big things – like performance reviews and public recognition – that make the most impact with employees. But it’s the tiny decisions every day that make people feel seen, heard and respected. It’s being intentional about recognizing and respecting their humanity, and from a work perspective, showing that you see how their humanity fuels their professional success.

Don’t just say “good job.” Say: “Your skill at diagnosing needs is really valuable to this project.”

Don’t just say “glad you got that done.” Say: “I know you had a big school event with your kids today. I really appreciate that you met this deadline.”

Don’t just say “that’s a great win.” Say: “Your ability to connect with people is such a help to this team. Thank you for using your talent to bring in this win for us.”

We always say that recognition needs to be specific. But when you give recognition in a way that celebrates the person’s whole life and talent, you help them feel both a sense of belonging and of confidence that they’re able to make valuable contributions.

It’s a recipe for unlocking talent and enabling higher performance. And, frankly, it’s more necessary than ever if you want to keep people. The “Great Resignation” is getting underway, with some media outlets reporting that a huge percentage of people are now considering changing jobs.

At the same time, a lot of companies are calling everybody back to the office, because they think that will help them connect with and monitor people. But if you focus on recapturing humanity, you aren’t going to be a “butts in seats” leader ever again.

Instead, you’re going to take a hard look at what enabled your business to keep thriving in the last 15 months – the hardest 15 months many people have ever known – and you’re going to make it a priority to enable that same magic going forward.

The magic, of course, is the people. The whole people, who juggled so much and yet still delivered. What you saw on Zoom this past year is the heart and strength of your organization. That’s something none of us should ever unsee.?