You Can’t Take It With You

I am a frugal guy. If you don’t believe me, look at what I drive to work:

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There is a segment of the population who likes to brag about how crappy of a car they drive. I am not in that group. If I could have a nice new pickup truck, I would be driving around in that needlessly large beast in a heartbeat.?

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And I would fit in with that other segment of the population that likes to brag about how nice of a car they have. This segment also typically likes to brag about many of the other toys they have too: new clothes, phones, gadgets, boats. You name it, they got it. And here in Tucson, I see a lot of these shiny things driving around.

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What puzzles me is while Tucson is not exactly a small town, we don’t have that big of a tax/income base. And some of these nice new trucks are pushing 100 grand. And while I don’t think the amount of money you make is a reflection of the kind of person you are, I can’t help but think:

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Ain’t that many people making enough to afford these toys.

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Of course, that usually means taking on debt and spending everything that comes in. The beauty of life here in America is that it is a free country, and you are welcome to spend what you have (or don’t) on what lights you up. But subtlety mention or suggest that someone not spend to the max or go into debt for the next instant gratification purchase and you’ll get the response:

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“You can’t take it with you when you die.”

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That’s a good point. We only get so many years, and if drive a 14 year old sedan and save a bunch of money that you don’t spend, as far as I know, you don’t get to cash that in in the afterlife. I cannot take that money with me.

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The phrase “You can’t take it with you” aligns with the “YOLO” (you only live once) mindset many have. And, again, free country. Do what you want.

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But when I hear “you can’t take it with you” I think of something else I can’t take with me. An unconventional way of looking at that phrase. Because the thing I can’t take with me, along with money, a new Dodge Ram, and expensive clothes, is…

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Time.

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“I’ve never chased the money, and I think we are similar” was the observation from one of our neighbors, whose values and ours in the “what really matters” department align.

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And, if the rumors and confirmation of being able to look up federal employee salaries are true, my wife and I certainly did not chase the money when we left our federal healthcare jobs to work part time for me, and for a startup company that is reversing diabetes with diet for my wife.

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It was not just not chasing money. It was as if the money was a tsunami and we were heading to higher ground as fast as we could.

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But aside from the sticker shock of what we left behind, we get to have more time now.

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More time while our kids are young.

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More time to keep them in daycare less days.

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More time for me to write this, and my?multiple ?books ?(wink wink, maybe go check em’ out).

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Because we can’t buy back this time, and we can’t go back and take time with us. Like money, when it’s gone, it’s gone. And while I may sit on my deathbed and wish I had more years of my ass sitting in a fancy truck, I think I will be happier knowing that my ass felt every bump, turn, and rock on the road in our paid off old cars while spending time with our kids, friends, and family.

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At some point, we’ll all be gone, and all that will be left of us are our “things,” any money we didn’t spend, and the memories and legacy of those we’ve impacted. Being on the other side of a few family members that have left this mortal coil, and not left a ton of money behind but instead years of memories and wisdom, I can say that is more valuable than living a life on the edge of financial ruin, stressed, and missing the moments that matter most.

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And that’s a level of satisfaction I can be happy to take with me.

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Plus, I can sleep peacefully for eternity knowing there is almost no way my 3 kids will fight over a 2010 Nissan Sentra.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this perspective on fatherhood, then you’ll love my new book,?“I Guess I’m a Dad Now: A Humorous Handbook for Newish Dads Who Don’t Want to Suck” ! I have some?great pre order bonuses you can snag , and since you are a loyal reader, if you put in the email to me that you read my newsletter, I’ll give you the bonuses for ordering 5 books even if you only order 1-AND even though it’s past the pre order window! Pick it up for you, or a dad you know in your life!?