”You can’t say anything anymore”

“You’re not allowed to say anything anymore.”?

“It’s like the political correctness police are out there, just waiting to get me.”?

“It’s just more woke BS being shoved down my throat.”?

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When I’m talking to a prospective client, one of the things I’ll ask is, “What obstacles or challenges should I know about?”?

Sometimes the VP of People or the CDO or the VP of Talent will tell me that they’re hearing sentiments like these.??

Their colleagues or employees are showing resistance to changing language. Resentment that they’re being told they should change. Or disbelief that there are real problems involving language.?

What’s going on??

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:??

Every single thing you say and write can cause a relationship to improve or deteriorate. (And, as always, “say” includes speaking in sign languages.)?

For some people, relationship is a touchy-feely word. So let me give a few examples that are specifically about business. Because language can seriously affect a company’s bottom line.?

• Problematic language in marketing materials, sales calls, and executive interviews may drive away potential customers??

• Language that erases people may cause potential clients, markets, and products to go overlooked?

• Linguistic distortions may amplify risk and legal liability, increasing the chance of expensive lawsuits that also bring negative publicity?

These are just a few ways that problematic language has negatively affected business.?

But to be honest, I’m often curious why taking other people into consideration isn’t enough.

Shouldn’t “I want to be respectful of the people around me and not cause unnecessary pain” be enough of a motivation??

Yet for many people, it is not.?

Some people, including public figures in comedy, politics, and business, are loudly proclaiming: “I should be able to say whatever I want.”??

And, as long as it’s not hate speech or stochastic terrorism , I agree with them. They are absolutely free to say whatever they want.?

But!

They also need to realize that there are consequences.?

I’ve heard stories about people who host events that are supposed to be fun, but then refuse to think about their guests’ needs or preferences.?

Like the guy who said, “It’s my barbecue, and barbecues are about meat! Maybe vegetarians just shouldn’t come.” And didn’t provide any real vegetarian options.?

Or the person who thinks that celiac disease and gluten intolerance are just made up. So, they hosted their birthday dinner at a restaurant with no options for guests who need to eat gluten-free.?

How do their vegetarian or gluten-free friends and family feel? Do they feel taken into consideration? Cared about? Like they matter even a tiny bit???

Probably not.?

How will this affect their relationship with their vegetarian or gluten-free friends and family? Well, in stories I’ve heard, that meat-only cookout and that pasta-and-pizza-only birthday dinner were the last straw.??

“He really is a selfish jerk who doesn’t care about me at all,” one person told me. “I’m giving up on him.”

Actions have consequences. And language is social action.?

Your language may cause people to feel pushed away from you. Or even give up on you.?

Here are things I have heard about executives, companies, and products that people are moving away from or have given up on:?

Out of touch.

Old-fashioned.

Obviously not for me.?

They don’t see me. They’re not thinking about me.?

Cringe .?

So embarrassing.

Inconsiderate.?

And here are just a few consequences I’ve seen:?

• High-performing employees quit?
• Team dynamics fall apart??
• Personal brand reputation takes a huge hit?
• A print ad or commercial is ridiculed??
• A deal worth millions is lost?

So, what’s going on when people cry, “You’re not allowed to say anything anymore”???

Well, they may not understand the principles of inclusive language , so criticisms feel random and unmotivated.?

They may feel overwhelmed by cultural shifts and the new 21st century etiquette.?

Or, and I see this really a lot, they may resent having to be considerate of people who they feel are beneath them.??

I’m honestly ok with people sticking to their old ways and continuing to use problematic language.??

As long as they’re ok with losing influence, losing friends, losing audiences, losing clients, and losing money.??

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