You can’t please all of the people all of the time and other things I’ve learned from 20+ years in HR

HR was my second proper job after I finished University, I got a job doing payroll for Railtrack and I was chuffed to bits. I progressed to the heady heights of Head of HR in the food industry before setting up my own business supporting HR professionals who want to be more confident, feel braver and take control of their career. Because HR is hard, it can be lonely and it can be unappreciated and I am on a mission to change that. Here are some things I have learned along the way.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time is a well know saying and it is so very true in the HR profession. The business thinks you support the people and the people think you are working for the business, both of these are true and don’t need to be in conflict but they often are. I have had people hand back free gifts and vouchers and complain about free food, I’m always amazed that whatever initiative you put on someone will have something negative to say. But once you get your head round that, things surprise you less, and there will always be many more people who are lovely and appreciative.

Establishing the role of HR and clarifying who does what in an organisation is an important piece of work. It is one that doesn’t always get done but without this clarity you will always be having a debate and disagreements over who is accountable for what and things can slip down the cracks.

Things are less personal than you realise. When criticism is being directed at HR it can be really hard not to take it personally. HR can be an easy target and any lack of clarity, as mentioned above, can provide opportunities for blame and criticism. But HR is more valued than I realised when I was in-house HR. Having left and then working as a consultant I saw businesses that have less HR support. Their business leaders value the expertise and the support when they don’t have it. Companies that buy in good HR see the value of HR.

Working hard isn’t enough. I was brought up in a family that valued hard work, you didn’t take a day off unless you were very ill and you got on with whatever you were asked to do. I assumed that would work in the workplace too. But it isn’t enough. This applies in most roles but is particularly relevant in HR where a lot of the work we do is confidential. We have to make sure what we are doing is overcommunicated, successes need to be shared. We have to overcommunicate to reach managers, stakeholders and different groups of employees. If we don’t we get overlooked, It is that simple. This one took me a long time to realise. It is vital for us as professionals and our teams. People can’t use initiatives if they don’t know about them. You can’t get credit for something if others don’t know about it.

The job will still be there. You will never be finished. Get ruthless at prioritising and having a cut-off point. I used to sit at my desk until late trying to “get finished”, but the work will still be there. It took me going on maternity leave to realise the business would carry on just fine without me.

Life gets easier when you stop fighting things and start to offer choices with consequences to managers who need advice. A bit like parenting. It’s harder than it looks but it is worth it and everyone gains from this approach.

Be curious. This was such a gift for me. It reduces the need to confront others. Asking good questions helps you to understand what people really need and where they are coming from. They don’t always ask for what they actually want. Understanding helps diffuse anger and it is really hard to argue with someone who is trying to understand your perspective. As a result, it helps you influence with less headaches. I wish this had come to me sooner.

You can’t change a company culture on your own.

You can’t make a manager do something that they don’t want to. Even if their manager thinks you should have.

Collaboration beats competition any day. When I worked in big organisations there was competition between sites and I felt a pressure not to show weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Ironically being self-employed I have found so many people who do similar work to me who are generous and wiling to help and it has helped me realise that there is enough work and enough glory for everyone.

No-one understands HR people like other HR people, helping and supporting each other is vital and this sometimes means showing your vulnerability. No-one has it all together. I have spent time with a number of ex colleagues and have been surprised how much more open we have been with each other after working together. Build relationships with other HR professionals wherever you can.

HR are employees too. It doesn’t always feel like it when you are putting on the support, training, well being initiatives and sorting out everyone else but we are employees too. We need support and we need to work on our own development to stay well and motivated in our roles. For me coaching was a game changer. To have someone I could be really honest with and to talk through my concerns, fears, and things I was struggling? with, to be gently challenged but without judgement meant I could be braver and more confident in the decisions I made. A win for the business too!

If you need some support or want a chat about working with me click here to book a free call https://tidycal.com/jennie1/30-minute-meeting

If you would like to add to my learnings I would love to hear your comments.