"You can't get to courage without walking through vulnerability" Brene Brown.

This week I spoke at the HR L&D Techfest to 1200 delegates on the biggest stage I've seen, let alone imagined I'd be stood upon delivering a closing keynote. As the chosen charity partner for the event it was an incredible privilege to be asked to share our cause with Australian and Global HR and L&D professionals. The reality of standing up on the stage and sharing my personal journey of losses and the work of The Pink Elephants Support Network was terrifying.

No matter how terrified I felt, I constantly reminded myself it wasn't as bad as I felt after losing my babies. Alone and isolated in the depths of grief, silenced by societies position on miscarriage. Grief has gifted me a super power not only do I have so much more empathy and understanding now, but I have an ability to use my vulnerability to be more courageous than I ever would have been before. You see when you have experienced loss, nothing else feels like it comes close.

I am an avid fan of Brene Brown and watching her interview with Oprah helped prepare me for this and reignite my why. Brene cites women who after experiencing the heartache of multiple losses but are in the arena willing to try again not knowing the outcome as brave, vulnerable and courageous and I couldn't agree more. I've been there and we now support thousands of women doing just this in our preconception group. I feel proud to walk along side them and sit with them in their darkness ensuring they don't feel alone. Thanks Brene Brown for giving me the understanding around this.

I was also concerned that sharing something so personal wouldn't resonate with a conference of HR Tech professionals. I needn't have worried I should have known better when 1 in 3 women in Australia experience a miscarriage and a further 1 in 6 couples are struggling to conceive, it resonated. The messages of support and positive feedback after I spoke where heartwarming to read. The action that will come from raising awareness like this is powerful, it's a ripple effect.

I raised awareness on the gap in most workplace policies; pregnancy loss. To support couples through the loss of their baby to miscarriage workplaces should be offering bereavement leave and not personal or sick leave. It was really well received and as usual when we speak with HR professionals they were genuinely concerned by the gap in their policies. Even if only one of these organisations change their bereavement policies to be inclusive of early pregnancy loss that will have an impact on many couples in the future. After all it is not ok that women are returning to work grieving the loss of their baby to miscarriage as they have no personal or sick leave left. I had many powerful conversations post my keynote with men and women who have suffered loss or have loved ones that have. One man shared his recent loss and how he had felt powerless to support his wife and then how he felt guilty for moving on to quickly whilst his wife still grieved. We need to start normalising these conversations, breaking the silence so that couples are not left alone to navigate grief. After explaining this is normal and many couples go through this you could see the weight lift off his shoulders.

One part that resonated was that 20% of couples who experience a perinatal loss will go on to be symptomatic for anxiety and/or depression. One of the biggest risk factors for clinical mental health developing post a trauma is a lack of support. It is not ok that as we approach 2020 75% of women feel unsupported through miscarriage. There is so much work to be done, this is an issue that needs addressing by communities, health services, workplaces and legislation. I feel privileged to be leading the change that's needed with The Pink Elephants Support Network.

Thank you to incredible team at Hannover Fairs Australia and in particular Ian Collier for choosing us to be the charity partner. Whilst I was cursing you before getting on THAT stage, I am truly so grateful you've helped us to increase our #circleofsupport.

Thanks to all of the other incredible speakers sharing their passion and work and to all of the meaningful conversations I had with delegates. It was great to meet, connect, listen, learn and share.

If you'd like to support our cause we gratefully accept donations, and we would love to talk to you about what support our Fertility in the Workplace Program can provide your organisation.