You Can’t Escape Death – The 5 Regrets You Want To Avoid

The funny thing about time is that it stops for no one. The hourglass is always running and if you let the sands slip away, there’s no getting them back. We often get too caught up with frivolous things in life. As a result, we live a life full of worry, stress, and eventually regret. Some of the best lessons we can learn about how to live our lives to the fullest are passed down from people in their golden years of life. For almost a decade Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse and counselor, worked as a caregiver for the terminally ill (those who had less than 12 weeks to live). In her role, Bonnie provided counseling and therapy services to patients in an attempt to relieve their physical and mental stress. This kind of stress is natural when a human being comes face to face with their mortality. In her interactions with her patients, Bronnie asked them:

• Do you have any regrets in life?
• Would you have done anything differently if life gave you a second chance?

Over the course of a few years, she noticed that many of her patient’s responses were similar. In 2012, she decided to write and share these lessons with others in her book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Below, I’ve outlined the top five regrets and analyzed each one:

 “I wish I had pursued my dreams and aspirations and not the life others expected of me.”

Many of her patients had been pressured by peers into a life they disliked because their loved ones, friends, and/or significant others expected them to conform to that reality. The pressure these individuals have on your life is unmistakable and extremely powerful. However, you should never let what others think influence what you decide to do with your life. In an interview with Amazon’s founder Jeff Bezos, Jeff explains what made him decide to take a chance and start Amazon. Below I’ve provided his response:

“The framework I found, which made the decision incredibly easy, was what I called—which only a nerd would call—a ‘regret minimization framework.’ So I wanted to project myself forward to age 80 and say, ‘Okay, now I’m looking back on my life. I want to have minimized the number of regrets I have.’ I knew that when I was 80 I was not going to regret having tried this. I was not going to regret trying to participate in this thing called the Internet that I thought was going to be a really big deal. I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. I knew that that would haunt me every day, and so when I thought about it that way it was an incredibly easy decision.”

This is an extremely powerful way to approach life because you’ll reduce the number of regrets you experience at the end of your life. Do you want to quit your day job to pursue other passions? Do you want to expand your horizons outside of your current existence? Project yourself out to the age of 80 and ask yourself the same question Jeff Bezos did. Would you feel regret if you didn’t take the chance? If so, take the leap of faith and live your life on your own terms. I promise you that your 80-year-old self will be glad you did.

“I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

In America, the idea of burning the midnight oil has become commonplace in our society. However, the demands on your time from work can put a strain on other areas of your life. Being driven to advance your career or grow your business is great, but not if you sacrifice all else in its pursuit. One of the areas most often neglected when fulfilling work obligations is maintaining healthy relationships with the ones we love.

One of the most famous cautionary tales about pursuing work above all else is the story of Sam Walton. Although you may not know who he is, you’ve certainly heard of his company. With over 11,700 retail locations employing almost 2.3 million people, Walmart has become one of the most commercially successful companies in history. At the time of his death, Sam Walton had a net worth of almost 100 billion dollars and was listed as one of the richest men in the world. Although Sam had achieved a level of commercial success that few before him had, he died an unhappy man.

Sam was known for consistently working 16-hour days and often neglecting his family as a result. On his deathbed, his famous last words before passing were “I blew it.” He realized too late in the game that chasing success without having anyone to share it with is not true success. It’s OK to stop and smell the roses. You can have ambition in life while balancing it out by taking care of your personal relationships and health. If your current work environment is not conducive to living a happy and fulfilling life, consider shifting your focus and switching jobs. It may end up being one of the best decisions you ever make.

 “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mind.”

To avoid rejection, many of us choose to follow the status quo. Although this may be the path of least resistance, there’s a reason why it is. Speaking your mind and expressing your feelings is an important part of living a truly fulfilling life. If you’re reluctant to express yourself to others, you may miss opportunities to change your life for the better. I wouldn’t be with my current girlfriend had I not mustered up the courage to ask her out on our first date. Almost two years later, I believe it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I would’ve never had the idea to start my first blog had I not struck up a conversation with a random person on an airplane. During our conversation, we discussed the struggles he faced early in his career and the lessons he wished he would have known back then. This conversation got me thinking and I eventually started The Strong Professional blog to help other Millennials learn these lessons earlier in life so they could compound their results over time. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and express your feelings. Some of the best opportunities you’ll come across will require you to do so.

“I wish I had stayed in touch with friends.”

Although we live in such an interconnected society, losing touch with friends is still a reality. Over time friends can grow apart and life moves on. It can be easy to go about your life without making a concerted effort to nurture relationships with old friends. While you shouldn’t try to maintain relationships with ALL your old friends and acquaintances, it’s important to engage with those special few. Start by setting up a text group and commit to FaceTiming each close friend at least once every few months.

If you don’t have an iPhone, I recommend using Skype. Skype is a software that allows you to make free video calls to anyone with an internet connection. I’ve provided a link to download the software program here (https://www.skype.com/en/get-skype/). Maintaining these healthy relationships will enrich your life and make it more fulfilling.

 “I wish I had let myself be happier.”

In such uncertain times, it can be easy to constantly stress about the future and focus on mistakes you’ve made in the past. This mindset of constant worrying, stressing, and being anxious is enough to make anyone’s head spin. Learn to live life in the present and enjoy it for what it is, a long road with many twists, turns, and bumps along the way. One of my favorite lessons about living in the present comes from Zen Buddhist teachings. It states that there’s no purpose in getting anywhere if, when you get there, all you do is think about getting to some other moment in the future. This constant worry and desire to reach a future destination will lead to unhappiness because you’ll never be satisfied with what you have around you. Life exists in the present or nowhere at all. If you’re unable to grasp that concept, you’ll be in an unhappy state for most of your life.

To avoid experiencing this in your future, start by showing gratitude to people and positive events in your life. Did you just receive a big promotion? Celebrate and enjoy the moment. Did your significant other compliment you for completing some of the housework? Stop and show thanks for the comment. Did you look outside this afternoon and see a stunning sunset? Sit down and enjoy the view. Taking time to live in the present and being happy with your life is a skill that will serve you well in the future. Make a commitment to write down three things you’re grateful for each day. I guarantee that if you continue this practice over the next few months, your mindset will shift and you’ll feel happier and more fulfilled as a result.

P.S

If you haven’t already, be sure to download your copy of my newest book The Millennial Playbook: 9 Secrets to Living a Rich Life. In the book, we discuss topics related to achieving happiness, building confidence, developing positive habits and routines as well as many others. To download your copy today, click on the link provided below:

Download your copy of The Millennial Playbook: 9 Secrets to Living a Rich Life!