If you can truly see a blessing in disguise

Ups and Downs: Why do some people surf the waves of life better than others?

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is that life is like surfing various waves: there are ups and downs, and both are valuable. Even in a typical job environment, some ordinary people get great opportunities (i.e., promotions/job scope expansions), while some outstanding people struggle with unfavorable situations (i.e., project failure, limited job opportunities). I am not in a position to explain what brings the favorable or unfavorable environment to people; I simply observe that some people go through such waves of ups and downs in life, not just with a better skill but also with a better attitude. Leaving aside the fact that they are much more successful than their peers, I certainly prefer to be around such people than others. What’s their secret?

The Lost Horse tale

There is a famous Chinese tale (also known in many other countries) about a wise man who properly interpreted things happening in life. Here is what I found on Wikipedia about the tale:

"Good luck and bad luck create each other,

and it is difficult to foresee their change.

A righteous man lived near the border.

For no reason, his horse ran off into barbarian territory.

Everyone felt sorry for him. His father spoke to him:

'Who knows if that won't bring you good luck?'

Several months later, his horse came back with a group of good, noble barbarian horses.

Everyone congratulated him.

His father spoke to him: 'Who knows if that won't bring you bad luck?'

A rich house has good horses, and the son mounted with joy/loved riding.

He fell and broke his leg. Everyone felt sorry for him.

His father spoke to him: 'Who knows if that won't bring you good luck?'

One year later, the barbarians invaded across the border.

Adult men strung up their bows and went into battle.

Nine out of ten border residents were killed, except for the son

because of his broken leg.

Father and son were protected/both survived.

Hence: Bad luck brings good luck, and good luck brings bad luck.

This happens without end, and nobody can estimate it."

This short tale gave me an important insight into what is one of the secrets of certain people I admired. Not that I favor a fatalistic stance on life, but that I strongly believe we need to take a few steps back and see the whole picture of life. What seemingly looks good may not be really good, and vice versa. This is not a skeptic worldview, but I believe a balanced view.

Pride Comes before a Fall?

Interestingly, there are countless examples of a proud person getting into a trap of a downfall. Napoleon's numerous military successes led him to invade Russia in the 19th century. Then we know the history of how his subsequent steps eventually led him to his fatal failure in the Waterloo battle in 1815.

Adolf Hitler wasn't different. He had numerous successes in the late 1930s to 1940, at the dawn of and in the beginning of the 2nd World War. He annexed Austria and the Sudetenland of Czech with literally no military collision. The Germans were thrilled with Hitler's success. Greatly encouraged by all these, Hitler invaded Poland and then surprised the Allies with its great military success in France (a.k.a. Sichelschnitt), which made Germany an undeniably dominant country in the Western Europe by May of 1940. Such numerous successes made Hitler believe that he must be either an exceptional genius or a hero with a fate to make Germany the top country in the world. All these successes led him to the fatal invasion of the Soviet Union, which we also know how the story ends. Success was sweet, yet things came with a price.

Bad Times and Good Times: should we complain or should we appreciate?

I heard an interesting speech by Tony Robbins on the internet :

Good times create weak people.

Weak people create bad times.

Bad times create strong people.

Strong people create good times.

That’s the history of the world over and over again.

While there were contrasting comments on Tony’s point, I simply read his note as “Do not despair when you go through bad times, as then you are growing as a strong person. Be cautious when you go through good times, as then you are very easy to be spoiled and become a weak person.”

I suppose many of us have gone and will go through multiple cycles of good and bad days in our life. We do need a balanced view toward what we go through.

Confidence vs. Humbleness

Throughout my career, I have found the one thing that is important for continuous career growth is the right balance of confidence and humbleness. While no one would know exactly to which degree is the best balance in certain situations, I believe one should strive to find the right balance in each circumstance, constantly asking oneself whether they are too confident or too concerned. The challenge is that it is so dynamic that you would never know where a pendulum is actually located and how fast it moves in between confidence and humbleness of yourself. I believe Andrew Grove’s message on a paranoid (in his book, “Only the Paranoid Survive”) is somewhat related to this stance.

I want to be, and I also want to be around, a person who can genuinly see a blessing in disguise. Then, tough times become a basis for extra effort and hope, and good times go with a constant awareness to be humble and care for others. Surely, new waves are to come at any time thus you would better get prepared to ride on any wave in front of you. Our life is truly a blessing in Him.