You can really transform your life

Any kind of transformation to happen you need to have sheer dedication and commitment toward the transformation you are going to bring in your life. First and foremost is that we need to develop a meaning to our life. Whatever it is that you’re passionate about, doing things that you find intrinsically valuable will enhance your life. Do things for the sole purpose that they make you feel fulfilled, successful, happy, or competent. Prioritize your peace of mind. Remove yourself from people and situation that make you feel stressed out, berated, devalued, rejected, invisible, or unappreciated. The environment makes a huge difference in overall happiness and satisfaction.

Learn how to be entirely content and pleased with your own company. At the end of the day, our relationships are finite. People don’t live forever, we may have to move, someone might choose to walk out of our life. These losses can be totally shattering if we don’t have a solid foundation of both self-love, and being satisfied with our own company. I’m sure many have felt the importance of this since quarantine. Additionally- if you know how to take care of your own needs, no one will ever have power over you.

Learn to respectfully enforce your own boundaries, without sabotaging your relationships. Some people are rigid and rude about meeting their own needs- and this comes at the cost of friends, family, and more. If we can be authentic about what we need, and assume the best of our friends and family- then we can communicate our boundaries in a way that is respectful, and doesn’t insult the people who matter. For example, if you had plans with a friend but are feeling like you need alone time- give them notice, let them know how you feel and what your needs are, and then reschedule at a time that is convenient for them.

And rather than cancelling last minute without reason or notice because you want alone time. Some people meet their own needs at the expense of their friendships. We can honour our needs while also being loving and respectful. If you can do this, you can preserve your own peace, and your relationships. Exercise Everyday or most days. Find activities that you love to do. Be it group sports, the gym, running, biking etc. Being active is one of the single most important factors that can transform someone’s sense of self, disposition, and overall happiness. It is important for your mental and physical well being.

Stop judging people. Know what works for you, and respect the different lifestyles of others. Live your life according to your own unique principles that maximize your wellbeing, peace of mind, and success. If others live totally different lives and adhere to different principles- respect that. What works for you isn’t going to work for everyone else. Judging others is like voluntarily poisoning ourselves. Don’t be in competition with others, learn from others, be curious, be respectful.

Turn to less social media use, or drop social media all together. The amount of insecure, jealous, and judgmental people is astronomical. Part of preserving your peace is making sure your social circles are positive influences that align with your higher values and purpose. Seeing these very subtle judgments towards other groups or individuals can again- poison your subconscious. Finely cultivated images and edited videos can warp your perception of reality. The less consumed you are with your own image and with the image and lives of others- the more energy you have to engage with and think about things that are important and valuable.

Write your diary every night before bed. Write about the things you noticed, learned, were consumed by, were confused by etc. Writing is a great way to clear your head and to have a better sleep. Every week- set a small and achievable goal for yourself. And keep track of it. For example- challenge yourself to do 50 pushups a day. Keep track of it. It can be so rewarding and boost your self esteem to look back and see that you’ve met these little challenges. Giving yourself small, tangible goals to achieve to alter your sense of self.

I’ve seen people who are major procrastinators adopt this habit- and the become really productive and alter their view of themselves. They realize- hey, if I can stick to this little thing, I can probably do more. Especially if you’re struggling to feel good about yourself- making little achievable goals can be a way to remind yourself of your own.

Learn how to say no. One of the best ways to stress yourself out and to feel awful is by having way too much on your plate. Learn how to turn down requests and opportunities if it will compromise your ability to succeed in more important ways. Alternatively, not being able to say no might keep you in toxic relationships, bad friend groups, toxic work environments etc. Do not base your sense of self on either the positive or negative evaluations of other people.

Compliments can give you an inflated ego, which will make criticism and reality harder to deal with. Criticism and hatred can give you a false perception of yourself, and damage your self esteem. The evaluations of others often say more about themselves than it does about you. If you can form your identity independent of the approval or judgment of others, you will be so stable and grounded it will shock most people.

If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Not everyone we love will be right for us. Wanting someone to stay isn’t enough to keep them around. Sometimes we prioritize how much we like a person over how well they treat us. Love does not equal compatibility. Wishing someone would stay doesn’t bring them back, and it doesn’t enhance your life. This comes back to point #3, if you’re content on your own and trust that you’re an awesome person- you’ll be able to let go of people who don’t recognize that, or who aren’t compatible with who you are.

Learn about emotional manipulation, emotional blackmail, narcissistic control tactics, and attachment styles. So many people fall victim to toxic relationships because they’re unaware of the warning signs, and don’t recognize when they’re being manipulated. Keeping manipulative people in your life can really reduce your wellbeing. Arm yourself with the knowledge of how to recognize toxic relationships and harmful people. It will be so valuable to avoiding bad relationships, and learning how to honour your own reality in the face of these tactics. Cheers!