If You Can Persuade Cats, You Can Persuade Anyone

I want to recommend a book that I read recently—How to Argue with a Cat: A Human's Guide to the Art of Persuasion by Jay Heinrichs.

I was first hooked by the book title. I didn't know what the book was about and I didn't have much expectations when I first read it. I'm glad that I gave it a shot, and I found the tips are very practical and useful.

Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word (or maybe a meow or two). They can get you to drop whatever you’re doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down right this instant and provide a lap.

On the other hand, trying to get a cat to do what?you?want....is hard, but persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze. Whether you want to ask for a raise from your boss or ask your child to stop crying—you will learn in this book.

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. – W. L. George

This checklist works for both cats and humans. Go through it before you attempt any serious persuasion.

What’s your goal?

Too often when we get into a disagreement with a loved one—pet or otherwise—we try to dominate the other person. Or we back off, out of reach from any claws. Instead, ask yourself whether the relationship is more important than the argument. Or, if you want something (a cat on your lap, a new car), work on getting that. It may be better to make your opponent feel like he won even while you end up getting what you want.

Is this a good time to persuade?

A persuader seizes every opportunity. The perfect time to get a cat to come is when he is hungry. The best time to persuade a man of anything is when he is hungry.

What mood is your opponent in?

If this seems like a bad time, you can make it a good one by changing your audience’s mood. Make it feel powerful, comfortable, and (if it’s a human) make it smile.

Is he paying attention?

A distracted audience is much harder to persuade. When you argue with your cat, you must entertain him.

What tense are you using?

Angry people usually use the past tense (‘Look what you did!’) or the present tense (‘Bad cat!’). If you want to get your audience to change its mind or do something, try switching to the future tense (‘Come here and I’ll give you a treat’).

Are you loving your audience, or pretending to?

If your audience is a cat, then loving it should be easy. It’s sometimes harder with people. But if you pretend to enjoy their company, you may find yourself actually enjoying it. At any rate, they will like you more.

Does he like and trust you?

Ethos is persuasion’s most powerful tool. It is the image your cat has of you. Does he find you reliable? Do you provide the best of all laps? Then he is much more likely to come when you call. And possibly less likely to knock the pen off your desk. Unless he thinks that, from the kindness of your heart, you put the pen there for him.

Does your argument make sense to your audience?

In persuasion, facts and statistics aren’t terribly important to a cat. Or to most people, for that matter. Instead, focus on what your audience believes and expects. That does not mean lying. But your audience will not mind if you pretend that a red laser dot is an alien space bug that must be killed.

Is your posture good?

As every cat knows, a dignified posture wins respect.

Do you look confident?

Part of good posture is good self-attitude, even if you’re faking it. And faking confidence can make it real. Don’t think of the times you missed. Think about all your successful kills.

Have you broken up the action into chunks?

Lure and the ramp. Ask your audience to do a little thing, and then another little thing, eventually leading to a big action. That’s ramping. When you want action, ask for bits of action. And offer little bits of treat each step of the way.

CAT WISDOM

The listening cat catches the mouse. The early bird can have its worm. A patient, quiet cat eats better.

A dead mouse is a trophy. Do not wait for others to celebrate your accomplishments. When you kill something, leave it on someone’s bed.

A silent meow trumps a loud one. Eloquent silence, and a pathetic expression, can persuade more than a shout.

When in doubt, keep a straight face. Cats rarely change their expression. That’s one reason they look so dignified. It also helps them hide their ploys.

Virtue lies in steady habits. Sleep, eat and do everything else regularly, at the exact same time each day. Habits are what make cats so virtuous.

Dignity won’t get your belly rubbed. So you embarrassed yourself. Be like a cat and leave the past behind.