If You Can “Name It” You an “Tame It”

What the heck?

At SLC, my goal and passion are to pass on some things I’ve learned, (unfortunately for me, sometimes the hard way,) to all those longing for something better in their life.  I was toiling along powered by self-will and really suffering from a desire to, and at the end, a need for, change.  After a great degree of self- reflection, I found to my dismay that the seven deadly sins of which I was so afraid were actually an active part of my daily life. All this time and introspection, yet I’d never realized it!  No surprise, I was miserable and scared.

What are the deadly sins? Well, if you’ll pardon me for exchanging the Bible’s use of ‘wrath’ to ‘anger’, I came up with PGA LEGS. (Sorry, my golf brain and an affinity for beautiful legs got the best of me. Spirituality is thankfully a journey and I still need a lot of work! LOL.) Let’s review the ‘deadly sins’: Pride, Greed, Anger(wrath), Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth: PGA LEGS. What a heavy list, right?

I’m a member of a well-known spiritual 12-Step program.  In this program, the ‘deadly sins’ are referred to as ‘character defects’.  We all have these in our lives, and for alcoholics like me, these are further exacerbated by the addiction itself.  Here’s the lifesaving tip I received that changed my life: if you take ‘alcohol’ out of the word ‘alcoholic’… you are left with IC (ick)!  There are lots of ICs in my life. The ‘ICs’ are where our defects reside, and accepting this fact is the key to change and abundance.  

There is actually a crucial step that directly addresses this revelation: it is where we are finally and completely ready to have our defects removed from us by God, who alone has the answer. But we must begin to identify what those defects actually are in order to ask for their removal! Discovering these in ourselves requires that we be completely honest in our self-examination. It is only then that our defects become apparent to us.

For me, one of these defects was the actual alcohol addiction itself.  God gave us the instinct to survive; my addiction was contrary to this instinct. I know that God - as I understand God - did not want me pursuing a life focused on dumping large quantities of vodka down my throat. That life was killing me slowly but surely and I was of no use to myself nor anyone around me. As I suffered so mightily with this, so bent on self-destruction but able finally to acknowledge my defect and humbly plead for help, the grace of God expelled it from me. As I worked the program, I sincerely asked God for this obsession with alcohol to be removed - and it was!  As a result, I was blessed to then be in a position for the first time in my life to really attack my other defects/sins.  

This miracle can happen for you, too. There are many anonymous fellowships that can help people overcome any number of addictions, including eating, drugs, gambling, sex, and alcohol addictions. If you feel you may have one, please look up these places and check them out.  What could it hurt to just investigate something that might help?  

We all have natural instincts that our Creator gave us, like eating and drinking, reproducing, desiring to being liked and wanted by our families, neighbors, and friends.  We were given these to enjoy and cherish.  What happens, though, if we begin to want more than our fair share of food, sex, fame, money, big homes, fancy cars, etc.?  If we use or seek these beyond their intended purpose or above our intended allotment, and we start to take short cuts and demand always more, then we start to stray away from God and his will for us.  In fact, we can consider this as the basic definition of sin or defects: going beyond God’s intended use for us individually.  We may begin to hoard money and remain envious of our partner because they have more,  or to eat too much and become lazy both in mind and body.  We may begin to get angry or resentful that we are not looking good in the mirror, or start snapping at everything and everybody.  We may begin to watch porn and desire the same pleasures in actual life, but can’t attract and form a healthy relationship. That’s because that takes effort on our part.  

Always wanting, never satisfied.

Don’t know about you but I now know about me, and that’s the plight in which I found myself.  Now what? Well, as I finally faced myself honestly in the mirror, seeing this 300-pound man, with poor health, poor relationships, no hope, I vowed to change. Having made this commitment, I sincerely asked God to remove these defects and replace them with qualities He desired for me, the ones I now  desired, too.  I wish this was easy - it isn’t - but what a ride it has been!  I didn’t have the energy to become perfect nor is it possible, in my opinion.  All I can really do is TRY to be a better person starting right now in the very minute I’m in, with the help of a power greater than myself.

The key for me was willingness.  I had always said that I would never give up some of these defects because I enjoyed them too much!  Now, however, I simply replaced the word ‘never’ with ‘not yet,’ which made it possible to make a beginning.  Few people have these defects in the extreme, and neither did I.  My hate wasn’t to the level that led me to kill anyone. My greed wasn’t such that I stole from anyone. But even if I did have these to the extreme, change is still possible if I’m willing!

To continue growing, I need to look honestly inside myself every day. Are any of these defects standing in the way of my relationships, my inner worth, my conscience?  For example, do I get a really perverse pleasure out of a certain person’s failure?  Do I gossip about a certain person and slightly embellish the truth?  Am I taking another’s problems as confirmation that I’m ‘doing it correctly,’ and they ‘should’ do as I do, (whether I actually do or not)?  Do I diminish other people’s successes by assuring myself that they must be cheating in some way to get what they have?  Do I discount the fact that my ‘eating a bit too much’ may actually be a milder form of gluttony? Do I procrastinate?  If I am to make progress, I have to be honest with myself and identify specifically what my defects are (name them!) and how they show up in my life.

Recognize these “names” we need to “tame”?

I do, and I began a plan to tame them, looking then to our Catholic friends for some healthier suggestions, some attributes to shoot for. We’ve talked about the seven ‘deadly sins’; how about trying to replace them with what they call the seven ‘heavenly virtues’: Charity, Chastity, Diligence, Humility, Kindness, Patience, Temperance.  Wow, that seems to be a better list!

We need to always remember God gave us desires and instincts, which only become defects(sins) if we abuse them.  With this in mind, I strive today for the heavenly virtues knowing I shall fall short.  But by living in a manner of constant self-reflection, I find my defects becoming far less of an issue each day, which is progress!  I’m less angry, envious, lustful, etc.  I feel more capable of the seven heavenly virtues - I can name these, but I don’t want to tame them!

Join me at AbundantLifeSLC.com to learn and explore these and other ways to achieve an inner calmness and peace.

Good luck and God bless. Michael