"You can do it, Mary Kay!"

With these words, Mary Kathlyn Wagner's mother encouraged the founder of Mary Kay, as a little girl. Several times she faced challenges that appeared beyond her age or size.

These are some:

1. She got married at 17. Her husband went away to fight World War II. She was left to take care of herself and three children.

Armed with only a high school diploma, she sold encyclopaedias to support her family.

2. After the war, he husband abandoned her and their three children.

She was working as a salesperson for Stanley Home Products.

She had to pick herself up again.

3. Her company skipped promoting her saying that she was a woman. The proverbial straw came when a man she trained, was promoted to be her supervisor.

She retired and decided to write a book to help women start their own business.

4. While writing the book it struck her to start a business too.

She had married again. With her husband, George Kallenback, she decided to start her own cosmetics business.

But he died of a heart attack that same year.

5. She launched Mary Kay Ash with a loan of $5000 from her son. He took her husband's place in the company.

She used the network marketing method used by other companies like Tupperware. She had successfully used it in her previous jobs.

18 months later, Mary Kay Ash had more than 3000 staff and almost $1 million in sales.

6. She took the company public in 1967.

17 years later some shareholders started questioning the perks she offered her sales people. To save the business model and her business, she took Mary Kay private again.

Mary Kay's growth has continued even after she died.

Her life was a succession of challenges. To each challenge, her response was shaped by her mother's words, "You can do it, Mary Kay."

So, she didn't quit until it was done.

We often quit because we are held back by limiting beliefs.

LIMITING BELIEFS

This is now a popular phrase. It is any conscious or subconscious belief contrary to our goals.

It acts as a blocker preventing us from trying.

What we do see are limiting beliefs deep in our subconscious. These are part of an overall script that shapes and runs our lives and decisions.

Mary Kay Ash had a life with several heart-breaking challenges. But she never gave up or gave in. That was the script running inside her.

Her mother had kept repeating "You can do it, Mary Kay". Encouraged, she went on to do things and tackle challenges. She grew in confidence with each accomplishment.

Our lives are shaped by the scripts in our subsconscious.

STEPS TO IDENTIFY LIMITING BELIEFS

Some of these scripts come from the adults that had an impact on our lives.

That means people in our families. It include teachers and perhaps religious figures. It also includes people and experiences that had a lasting emotional impact on us.

These are the scripts with which we navigate through life.

1. The foundational step for all interior journeys is to make ourselves feel safe. All the parts of our minds should feel safe to reveal themselves.

It's in solitude that we see the flow of thought, images and feelings inside us.

2. The next step is to select a goal. It should be something very small, almost inconsequential of itself.

But, it should be a goal that we place great value in attaining.

3. We must ask ourselves what we feel and think about this goal.

Note down thoughts and feelings.

The more safety we create within ourselves, the more thoughts and feelings will surface about this goal.

4. After this comes a step of curiosity. We enter into conversation with those parts of our minds that have thoughts and feelings about our goal.

We ask why?

Perhaps an experience from the past has left a memory.

We acknowledge and accept the feeling or thought.

5. If a feeling or thought is contrary to our goal, after acknowledging and accepting them, alternative ways of feeling and thinking can be suggested.

None of our thoughts and feelings are set in stone. They can be influenced. They can change direction or grow stronger.

Avoid trying to threaten, compel or force the mind to change.

Pushing them around only generates resistance.

Use reason for lasting change.

Violence changes nothing for the better neither outside us nor inside us.

6. While proposing alternatives, take small unthreatening steps to show that the goal is actually good and desirable.

Some parts of our mind may be in support of our goal. Others will be dead set against it.

Small steps can influence the particular limiting belief that we are working on.

When my fiancée proposed alternative colours for my clothes, I resisted. I had a limiting belief that the best colours to dress in were black, dark brown, or dark blue.

But then I gave in wearing the occasional green, brown and blue.

As I became more comfortable, I was able to adopt more colours and tones in my dressing.

Today, I am not limited to wearing dark or light colours. On some days, you'll even see me sporting Pink.

Start small. Use these steps to tackle your limiting beliefs in small things. Then move on to bigger things.

Please note that this is not a call to do things that harm others or oneself.

Thank you for reading.

Get in touch for a one-on-one session about this or anything else related to startups, small businesses and solopreneurs.

I intend to start learning cohorts for tackle important challenges with with guided support as a group.

Please DM me if you are interested.

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