You CAN change YOUR world

When routine bites hard and ambition is low - Love Will Tear Us Apart, Joy Division.

What's the biggest difference between children and adults?.....

No, it's not that some are bigger than the other.

Nor is it that some are more annoying than the other (I'll leave you to decide which one!)

There's no punch line coming by the way.

And it's definitely not differing maturity levels.

The biggest difference between children and adults is our ability to believe that you can change your world.

I want to stress that I said 'your world'. Not 'the world' - YOUR world.

"We have to dream. How else will we make a future that does not yet exist?" - Simon Sinek

A child's world is full of positive messages and encouragement to change their world and to love life. The image above is a t-shirt that belongs to my 9 year-old daughter. Imagine a 39 year-old wearing an equivalent for work? The shame and constant questioning would put even the most positive thinkers off braving that attire.

And we don't just stop there, this is a framed picture from my 7 year-old daughter's bedroom which she sees every time she wakes up. Whereas I see an alarm clock that has already been snoozed and a list of things to do that day!

I am not for one minute saying the t-shirt or the poster are wrong - I paid for them! I actively encourage this and believe that childhood should be full of positive messages and give kids the opportunity to read these 'slogans' in the hope that they adopt this way of thinking - who doesn't want to 'enjoy life'?

Noticing what is around me and the messages that my kids are surrounded by made me think; when do we stop believing these messages and allow them to just exist on the periphery of our lives and see them as 'products' or things that we buy to brighten up the house?

"I've just moved in and bought these lovely stones with motivational messages on for the bathroom". The motivational messages will be much better used as part of your thinking than left on top of your cistern or window sill for your guests to politely comment on occasionally.

So what it is then? Why do we stop believing these positive messages as adults and why is it much harder to dream? What does it take to know that you can change your world?

It's a classic example of us being conditioned by the world around us. With our ageing years comes a greater demand to fit in and the potential embarrassment or shame of wearing your 'you can change the world' t-shirt make us think like, behave like and even dress like everyone else.

What's really important to recognise here is that it's not your fault. Two huge things are in play that impact us being conditioned by the world around us: -

1. Your brain is lazy and would ideally like to have the same thoughts over and over again so if it sees an easy way to exist it will
2. As adults our world is full of 'tell' signs - we're expected to 'fit in' and do as we're told

In response to these two things, you must take control to change your world.

"I cannot change THE world. I CAN change MY world"

Take control by choosing your positive response to your thoughts. Next time your brain tells you to do what you've always done, tell it "no, I want to do something different. I want to challenge myself. If I listen to you all my life, I'll do the same thing over and over again and get the same results over and over again".

It is your choice how you respond to your thoughts that your lazy brain generates. Sure, sitting in and watching the tele at every opportunity might feel like the right or easy thing to do. Is that what you wanted to be when you grew up? Or did you want to experience the world and make a positive impact on people, keeping yourself alive through positive experiences?

Look out for the 'tell' signs that are in your world and choose your response. For many of us, the 'change the world' t-shirt gets replaced by a work uniform once childhood is over. So we go from wearing something that makes us dream to something that we're told to wear. And likely has our name and job title on it and the name of the employer who 'we're doing it for'. That wasn't my ambition as a kid!

The motivational posters get replaced by signs (probably laminated) telling us to wash our hands and 'don't do this' and 'don't do that' which make our brains subconsciously think that we need instructions to function and that we must follow order. That is the complete opposite of creativity and innovative thinking that enables us to achieve our dreams.

"We see the world not as it is but as we are" - Anais Nin

Remember that point I stressed earlier - you can change YOUR world. You choose your mindset and how you respond to your thoughts and it is those choices that determine how you achieve the changes you want.

As summer is now over (that's another thing we're conditioned to believe - summer officially finishes on 31st August!), I'll use an example of something I heard again and again this summer...... "it's better than being in work". This first came from a colleague describing the holiday they had just been on (to Florida no less!!!).

I also got the same response when I asked a fellow holiday maker what they thought of where we were staying in Cornwall. And perhaps most baffling, a mate of mine also told me that being at The Ashes with his mates was simply 'better than being in work'. I quickly told him it was his round!

Whats wrong with saying this? Well for starters it's the bleeding obvious! If being in work is better for you than being in Florida, Cornwall or at The Ashes then you must have the best job in the world!

Also wrong with this way of thinking is that it is routed in negativity. Sure, if you're unhappy in your job then anything else is 'better than being in work'. However, you don't need to verbalise that and make yourself hear it over and over again. This way of thinking makes you miss the positive things you're experiencing and anchors what you believe about your work, so that feeling of impending doom about your return to work seems to linger over every weekend and every holiday.

A mentor of mine challenges the way people see their world by asking "don't tell me what you don't want - tell me what you do want?". This very subtle way of making people clearly identify what they want creates positive thoughts that enable positive action to achieve what you want.

Look, if you're unhappy in your job you have two choices - either get a new one or change the way you think about it. Doing nothing will continue to make you think like the people above. If the option of getting a new job is not right for you then change your responses so instead of 'it's better than being in work' it becomes more like my daughters' t-shirts and posters: -

• 'Florida was amazing thanks. Great weather every day and my kids had the time of their life. I even met Mickey Mouse!'
• 'It's beautiful here. Cornwall is somewhere you HAVE to visit. The beach is amazing and you just don't get this scenery anywhere else. Plus the mobile signal is crap so I don't get mithered by e-mails and social media. And the bar serves some great local beers'
• 'I'm at The Ashes with my mates - where else could possibly be better than that right now?'

Some of you might break into cold sweats reading the above worrying about what people will think if you said any of the above. So what?... So fxxxxxg what?! The truth is that It Always Starts With You so even if someone looks at you like you're on something by being so positive, the most important person you will influence by saying how it really feels is you. And you are the most important person that you will ever talk to.

The truth is that the other person will think 'I wish my holiday was that good' or 'you're so positive' and of course 'yeah The Ashes with my mates is the best place to be right now'. And the bigger truth is that you will start to change your world by telling yourself about your positive experiences and not worrying about work when you're not even in work!

"If you're not happy with something - change it"

It is important for me to stress that you can change YOUR world is because many people will tell you that they change it for you or that you can't do it without them.

My blood boils every time I see someone on social media telling the world how 'I have changed this team' or 'I have developed this person' and perhaps my personal favourite 'I will change the way you (delete as appropriate) think / lead / behave / live your life". I could name names but I can't be bothered with the law-suit!

Let's get something straight - No-one changes your world for you, you do. No-one changes or develops you - you do. No-one chooses how you respond to your thoughts - you do.

People telling you that they do it for you makes us think that other people will change our world for us and we can end up waiting for someone else to do it for us. Other people can support you and inspire you - it is you that changes your world. Through my work, I genuinely get asked 'will you fix so-and-so?' or 'make sure you get them to do this'. My response is always the same - 'so-and-so will fix themselves and they will choose what they do'.

"What the human being is best at doing, is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact" - Warren Buffet

My job is to create an environment to make people think and where they make positive choices. This is what you can expect from me: -

As an Inspirational Speaker - I will engage you with my approach. I will inspire you through my stories and shared techniques. I will enthuse you by sharing how you can achieve positive change how you think and demonstrate how you always have a choice. You help you.

As a Coach - I will create the environment where you make your own choices. I will enable you to think through your choices and decide on actions by asking you questions and listening. I'll provide feedback and share experiences at the right time but I will never tell you what to do. You change you.

As a Facilitator - I will facilitate the content and create engagement in the room. I will create a spark of interest and provide lightbulb moments. I will encourage you and challenge you to identify how you will transfer your learning. You develop you.

As a Writer - I will say it as I see it. I will share my experiences and thoughts. I'll describe techniques and opportunities to do things differently. You'll decide what to do with what you read.

We must go back to our inner child and see that we can change our world and that we must enjoy life. To do that, we must see that it is us who achieves that for us... IT ALWAYS STARTS WITH YOU.

"If you want something to happen - you have to make it happen"

This article was taken from my Enthuse blog. Find more blogs and how to Enthuse your Inbox at my website...