Are You Called to Partnership?
Erica M Haines
Leadership & Wellness Consultant | Conflict Resolution & Performance Enhancement
Most people are afraid to love. I hate that sentence. I love that sentence.
I love that sentence — because it Does Resonate. I love that sentence because I’ve dated those people — & I am those people.
I hate that sentence because it’s never been explained very well, ever. and so I will attempt to explain it here. A Course in Miracles states: We either Love Everyone — or we don’t Love Anyone.
The Intoxication of Romantic love - Ideas & excitement stir up,
swooping you into currents, like tendrils of wind, reaching into your mind — carrying you off into Idealization and fantasy.
What helped me most was to see how much I actually HATE the person that I Love.
This can be hard if you’ve just stumbled across a new relationship & think that you’ve found the ONE — you know nothing about this person, so it’s very difficult to
comprehend that you actually might HATE them.
& It’s not that you hate them.
Unfortunately, it’s more likely that you hate yourself
We who feel so Deeply, We who, so desperately seek for relief from the feelings of angst,
existential disillusion, confusion, Unfulfillment & isolation,
We get that relief from relationship. At first.
And Society didn’t teach us coupling relationship skills, nor how to deal with this sensation of ennuyeuse.
Instead, we saw fairy tales, myths, and legends all reflecting the fantasy that Love, not only comes from outside of ourselves but it also comes with some very specific proof and elaborate demonstrations.
So, when reality pokes holes in our lofty weather balloons of carried away Imaginings, of Love, Devotion, endless titillation & pleasure — Downward we descend into throes of fury, frustration & hatred.
What truly helped me was to realize that if I want to change him — if I want to change the situation — if I’m always getting excited, and then frustrated and then angry & disappointed -
Something else was going on — Something that was more like Not Love, Something that was more like hate. & It’s really OK if that’s true for you too -
it doesn’t make you Horrible, A monster … Or mean that you’re never gonna find love.
No, none of That is true
Amidst the highs & lows, the drain & burden of changing tides of emotion,
resistance, demands, desires, specificity, expectations, elation,
struggle & drama
Something is being shown to you.
That — as identities of separation, separate selves, living in a negative world — seeking
love & wholeness from other supposed separates, living in the same supposedly negative world…
Doesn’t really make any sense, Does it?
That’s why relationships are a path of spiritual growth — despite how hard it’s been — it’s
fortunate to not find one you could "settle" in — to not find one that 'kind of' works —
Fortunate, to find those that accessed your deepest buttons, triggered your darkest wounds, provoked your buried illusions & disillusions and stirred you to the depths of your being.
If it prompts you to figure out what was really going on-
Who and what you really are at the core,
Then spiritual growth will benefit your Partnerships, Absolutely.
To work with me one--on--one about the challenges in relationships that you’ve found — Or to be a part of my relationship mastermind "Find the Love of your Dreams" send me a message.