YOU ARE NOT "BROKEN" - AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BE "FIXED"

BUT - maybe you are so busy looking at different symptoms in your life, that you completely miss the actual problems that need to be addressed.

Be honest - are you trying to see beyond what hurts, to find the actual problem? Or is it often just a symptom you focus on – the gap between how things are now and how you wish they would be?

People often misunderstand this, thinking that their symptoms equal their problems. But it is a mental trap, our brain's ways of "protecting" us from something harder: to stop looking at the symptoms - and instead addressing the root causes. Aka - the actual problems.?

And here's the kicker: you almost always already KNOW the root cause. AND the solution. If your friend comes to you and say they struggle with X or Y - you can almost always tell them a way forward. The key is to have enough psychological safety with them, to be able to say "dude - I really think you should... [fill in the solution you know will help them]".

But - the reason we sometimes don't address the root problem is that it appears to be harder work. And there is an allure of frolicking with symptoms, making ourselves victims of circumstances, and feeling helpless about fixing them.?

Those emotions are often easier to focus on, than to accept that we CAN alter our situation, our state - that the solution is in our own hands. But - addressing the problems is a wee bit outside our comfort zones. So instead we describe and complain about a general symptom and avoid having to act on solving the underlying problem.

And yes - I personally prefer calling them Problems, instead of Interesting Challenges. I am evil that way. ;-)

Recognize any of the following?

"My life sucks."

Feeling that life sucks is an example of mistaking a symptom for a problem. The underlying issues is most likely comparing yourself to others, spending too much time on social media, seeing yourself as a victim, focusing on what’s wrong and what you lack, or surrounding yourself with negative people. That sucks, yes - and you KNOW it gives you a rotten self image.?

What could you do if you REALLY wanted to address the actual problem? To tackle these problems, try keeping a gratitude journal to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life. Additionally, limit your social media use (decide to cut away 90% starting today) and spend more time hanging out with uplifting people. You KNOW that tik tok dopamine hits and doom scrolling is bad for you, so start acting on it!

"I am stressed out of my mind."

When you feel stressed, it's important to recognize that stress itself is a symptom, not the root problem. The real issues might be piss poor prioritization, neglecting your own recovery, or not taking proper physical and mental care.?

What could you do if you REALLY wanted to address the actual problem? Well, to address this, reflect on your daily activities and identify areas where you can re-prioritize. Implement a structured schedule that includes regular breaks and self-care activities - it WILL significantly reduce your stress levels.

"I am completely exhausted."

Feeling completely exhausted is a symptom that often points to problems such as poor prioritization, not getting enough sleep, giving everything to everyone else, eating crappy foods that you KNOW make you sluggish and tired, and not giving yourself enough space to relax.?

What could you do if you REALLY wanted to address the actual problem? First, analyze your daily tasks and delegate or eliminate non-essential activities. Ensure you get at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night and include relaxation time in your daily routine. This is science, and you already KNOW it works.

"I can't wind down before bedtime."

If you can't wind down before bedtime, this is a symptom of other issues. These might include mindless scrolling through social media until late, not having a crappy bedtime routine, having too high expectations of yourself, or not taking care of your mental health.?

What could you do if you REALLY wanted to address the actual problem? Creating a bedtime routine that includes turning off electronic devices an hour before bed and practicing mindfulness or meditation WILL help calm your mind and prepare you for sleep.

You could do this to all your symptoms.

Key takeaway 1 - Separate your problems from their symptoms.?

Otherwise, there’s a significant risk of spending time, energy, and money on activities that only alleviate the symptoms instead of addressing the real problems.

Key takeaway 2 - You already know the answers.?

The only reason you are still stuck, is if you avoid taking action on the knowledge you already possess.?

Time to ACT!?

1. Sit down, and make a list of your 7-8 main Symptoms

2. Clarify the Problem behind each Symptom (pro-tip: it could be the same), and make a new list of your honest actual Problems

2. Write down the solution to each problem, as you would? do if you were help your best friend

"Dude, you gotta get out of that toxic relationship"

"My friend, tell your manager you deserve that promotion"

"Hey - you know I love to hang out with you, but you GOTTA stop drinking to numb your emotional pain"

"I don't know how to say this, but you really need to start exercising to lower that high bad cholesterol level"

"Pal, the stress you carry right now is heavy - I really think you should start meditating to reduce pressure"

Remember: You are not "broken", and you don't need to be "fixed".?

But you may need to start telling yourself the truth about your problems and what some of the solutions are. Just like you would tell your best friend.

Because you really are. So forgive yourself for not having acted before, and then tell yourself the hard truths, and then help yourself get started.?Just like you would help your best friend.

And just as you would help your best friend - remember to never ever give up on yourself. Your best friend would never give up on you.

If your strategy is not working, change the strategy - not the goal.

Let me know if you need an extra push to get started.