Are You a Brave Enough Leader to Stand Up for Humor at Work?

By Holly Cafiero

November 2018

We probably all know that humor can be a really wonderful trait in others, whether you find it in those you meet at work, on the street, in your neighborhood or in your family.  I believe it truly tells you so much more about a person than simply a gift to make others chuckle.  It is a critical element to how humans interact and is a powerful bonding ingredient for our people, teams and companies. So, if you are blessed with a sense of humor, rejoice!  If you have a collection of people in your company with a sense of humor, you are fortunate.  In our age of careful political correctness, humor is at risk of becoming endangered. It is my hope that we can explore this together and do all we can as leaders to keep it thriving, even through the tricky waters of our time. It takes organizational courage to keep humor strong and positive.

Humor is like a canary in a coalmine when it comes to the health of a team or even a company.

Humor as a concept in the workplace is not new.  Many, many others have written about it, conducted studies, and spoken about humor.  So, how is this article potentially different than others on humor?  I’m going to take a risk and share why I believe humor is very important and deserves credit as a crucial ingredient to human interactions, people’s success and our companies.  Quite simply, I have found that humor is like a canary in a coalmine when it comes to the health of a team or even a company.  As a human resource professional with over 25 years of people and culture experience, I really want to share this perspective with you. I’m more convinced than ever of its significance and the threats against humor. Courage is one of the key ingredients to great leaders. Do you have the courage to keep humor alive in your organization?

Let me be clear, in case you haven’t already guessed this:  I am advocating for more humor all around but the positive, healthy and self-aware variety!  In this world of extreme caution for being politically correct, sometimes it’s just safer to avoid humor.  Also, our teams are more diverse than ever before. We have many different cultures and perspectives to balance in the workplace. Humor is something in all cultures as it is a wonderful quality that most humans are born with to some degree. But, traversing the humor landscape is tricky. After all, if you are anywhere near my age and grew up in the 1960s and 1970’s in the US, then you know that so much of what was deemed “funny” back then is absolutely politically incorrect today.  If you can, imagine TV shows like All In the Family, Hogan’s Heroes, F-Troop, I Dream of Jeannie, Laugh-In, Saturday Night Live, The Jefferson’s, etc. Some people believe that our politically correctness is killing comedy altogether, but I disagree.  Clean humor can be just as funny as the darker varieties.  I do worry that, in our fears and attempts to not offend anyone, we can sterilize our workplace, our relationships and run the risk of killing authenticity, along with humor.  We have to be brave enough to use humor to create an authentic, fun environment, while still being respectful of one another.

I do worry that, in our fears and attempts to not offend anyone, we can sterilize our workplace, our relationships and run the risk of killing authenticity, along with humor.  

Let’s step back for a moment. What does humor potentially tell us about someone?  Well, based on how humor shows up, it could indicate confidence, humility, wit, intelligence, empathy, social EQ, influence abilities, good natured-ness, and kindness, to name a few. But, like all wonderful traits, each has a dark side if over used or used at the wrong time. Humor that shows up in inappropriate ways can indicate the polar opposite of these examples.  If you’re someone with a healthy funny bone, I suggest you check yourself periodically and ask others to be honest with you.  Taking humor too far can be way worse than being silent or dour!  

Realizing that humor is a delicate skill, I’m still a strong advocate for taking risks to be humorous.  Personally, I’m a little leery of people who are void of humor and specifically, lack the ability to laugh at themselves.  Think about it.  If you can laugh at yourself, you clearly don’t take yourself too seriously.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, you may be open to feedback and you have some confidence to know that it’s ok to occasionally make mistakes, trip and spill something, or say something you regret because those moments don’t define you. You know you are stronger than those awkward moments.  When you laugh at yourself, you put others at ease and people are freer to be themselves as well.  In a way, you demonstrate that you’re not overly self-critical and may not be as critical with others about superficial things.  You allow people to more quickly transcend formalities and get to the heart of whatever it is you want to focus on in that moment.

In the workplace, if you have a company that demands creativity and innovation, humor is one of the aspects that should reign supreme!

In the workplace, if you have a company that demands creativity and innovation, humor is one of the aspects that should reign supreme!  If you penalize mistakes, you will see things like “CYA” behavior creep in, creativity and innovation wither rapidly and your most brilliant people will soon be gone in exchange for those who are happier with mediocrity and the safety of compliance and repetition.  Think of humor as a ticket to your company’s future growth and resiliency to face the challenges that inevitably lie ahead.  I recently watched a Ted Talk replay on the topic of “Grit” and how this characteristic was one of the strongest indicators of success across a variety life stages.  To have grit means you have to persevere through failure over and over again.  Humor and the ability to dust yourself off and try again go hand in hand.

Think of humor as grease on the path to intellectual honesty which is arguably one of the greatest weapons successful companies possess.

Here’s another reason I’d look to surround myself with folks who can engage in a little silly repartee.  Life and work are full of ups and downs.  If you don’t have a sense of humor about life, it’s going to potentially be a long, painful road for you and me, especially if we work together.  For this reason, humor is a really desirable quality I look for when hiring. Humor at work is what allows us to step back, look at the situation, evaluate the risks and opportunities, sometimes see the ridiculousness in a situation all while being very honest.  If we can poke a little fun at a situation, we can get to some of those meaty, possibly sensitive truths about a tough situation. If we can get to root causes together, we have a chance at making things better.  Think of humor as grease on the path to intellectual honesty, which is arguably one of the greatest weapons successful companies possess.

Humor can serve as a great way to let others know you’re going through a particularly tough time without getting too heavy or serious.  I’m not suggesting we crack jokes through our toughest moments in a nervous way. Humor can reveal when things are challenging while keeping the mood balanced. It can open the door and allow others to empathize and help when the battle of life or work is difficult.  It can bond people together under the toughest of times.  Think about it.  Stress in our world with these so-called modern conveniences is ubiquitous! Imagine the typical aspects of balancing modern life, never mind if something serious goes wrong like someone's health, financial worries, caring for loved ones, or some natural disaster.  Life places so many demands on us and if we don’t enter the daily battle with some degree of humor, the battles can feel like a war.  

Board members are typically tired from long days of listening, absorbing a lot of information, making decisions, and sitting for long periods of time.  A good chuckle, carefully placed so as not to seem glib, could go a long way for you and all of them!

Let’s shift gears to how humor can play a role in the THE most difficult of human interactions.  Have you ever been in a situation so tense that people almost forget to breath?  I’ve been in enough boardrooms and been in or next to the "hot seat" to have experienced this plenty of times. Boardrooms are notoriously somber and sober places for discussion.  Much is at stake in a boardroom.  People who are presenting have prepared more than usual, are eager to make a very positive impression, worried about having all the accurate answers and nervous for the potential career implications.  There are fewer places in the workplace more tense than the boardroom or senior executive reviews.  Getting people to be at their best in these settings can simply be a function of some humor to put everyone at ease, especially the presenter.  Assuming the topic isn’t about corporate take overs, missing financial targets, layoffs, death or something equally as grim, humor can be the single best way to kick off a presentation, meeting or difficult conversation.  I've witnessed this work in the boardroom so many times. Well placed, intelligent humor communicates that you are at ease, confident and belong in their environment. Those who are most at ease, as well as thoroughly prepared, are invited back over and over. Try it sometime if you dare!  Board members are typically tired from long days of listening, absorbing a lot of information, making decisions, and sitting for long periods of time.  A good chuckle, carefully placed so as not to seem glib, could go a long way for you and all of them!

Let Humor Be Your Company's Cultural Secret Weapon!

Perhaps one of the most important and compelling reasons I’m such a fan of humor is that I believe we are at our best when the environment we work in allows us to be very authentic.  I’m not talking about the overly authentic realm of “TMI” but rather, the sort that allows people to let down their guard, be themselves, be inclusive and open with others. We can create an environment to laugh at our differences, poke fun at our “areas for development” and accept each other for who we are.  To me, in this environment, people know where they stand all the time. There is extreme transparency, direct communication, recognition of failures and successes, open feedback and peer coaching.  Good natured humor is a tool that can allow some mild degrees of confrontation without attacking one another.  This can allow standards for excellence to be well known.  This authentic culture allows people to easily point out subpar results without demoralizing one another.  After all, if you accept yourself and others as less than perfect, yet very committed and confident (but not arrogant), you can offer feedback that isn’t received as personal. You can focus on making the entire team better.  Imagine this environment if humor wasn't present.  Very bleak, right?  Now, imagine this environment with humor, good natured support of each other, clarity of expectations and courage to take risks and communicate directly.  Wouldn’t you want to work somewhere like this? 

What if you are someone who just is not funny?  What if you have a passive sense of humor? You laugh but you are not the one initiating the humor?  Maybe it's just not your way to be funny or it's never occurred to you to be funny or attempt to make others laugh?  Well, I believe you can nurture your inner funny bone and eventually raise the courage to be one of the most compelling people and influencers in your company, if you want!  This topic could be an entire article all on its own but I will at least say that the best way to start this journey is to just jump right in. There's no time like the present to try something new.  Try laughing at yourself regularly.  Exercise this muscle first.  Then, add a little light hearted self-deprecation in front of others.  Next move onto to poking good natured fun at those closest to you…carefully choosing them of course.  People may be surprised by your new humor.  Once you grow more comfortable at home, give it a whirl with closest colleagues and work your way around.  It is entirely possible!  You only need to want to do it.  It’s sort of addictive once you begin.  I wasn’t comfortable with humor at work at all until I found myself working for someone with a wicked sense of humor. He would poke fun at me all the time.  At first it actually hurt a little and I felt confused. When I thought about, I realized this was his way of giving me feedback. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this feedback, even though tough to hear at first, was really helpful. I decided to toughen up and take his funny comments to heart. I knew he had my best interests at heart and genuinely liked working with me. Eventually, I tossed a few funny jabs back at him! He loved the banter and we had a great time working together eventually. When he poked fun at me me, I reciprocated.  We would roar with laughter together. The team saw us doing this and it sort of spread across all of us. We increased our performance, strengthened our relationships, and really enjoyed the work environment much more. You have to do what feels authentic to you. Try it and you'll find your own way.

Well, I could probably go on and on about humor.  I believe your smile and good-natured humor gives others insight into your character, the goodness of your intentions and allows us all to connect a little more authentically.  Let’s all be brave enough to laugh at ourselves, laugh with others and keep life’s challenges in perspective.  I’ll leave you with a little humor...enjoy!

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the heck was that all about?’

Ok, one more!

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’