Are You Boring? (Be Honest)

You've probably heard that common wisdom about speaking: tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them.

Nonsense.

Now - don't get me wrong - I love the idea of being utterly clear about what you want others to remember. Stressing a point three times? Fine with me.

It's the word "tell" that I hate. 95% of people who hear this advice set out to literally say the same thing, in the same manner, three times in a row.

Can you feel me shudder?

Effective communication is hard work. It takes effort, forethought, and a bit of creativity. You don't have to color in the page, like I've done today, but I would suggest doing something out of the ordinary that fits your message, audience, and personal style.

To the greatest extent possible, show, don't tell. Use videos, visual displays, music, skits, dramatic actions - a friend of mine once stabbed a knife into a table at the beginning of his presentation - and a bit of the unexpected.

The same is true when you meet a colleague for lunch, make small talk on the elevator, and try to engage someone at a conference. Don't just give others a laundry list of words. Mix it up. Be slightly unpredictable.

Before someone can digest your message, they actually have to be paying attention.

I've deliberately used images in a very loose way to illustrate that doing something different - typically I offer you 500 words, one picture, and leave you alone - can cause people to once again pay attention to you.

My message today is not particularly complicated: take a break from your usual approach, be a little bit unexpected, and show people what you believe to be true, instead of simply telling them.

Bye for now.

Bruce Kasanoff is a ghostwriter for entrepreneurs, executives, and social innovators. He is the author of NEVER TELL PEOPLE WHAT YOU DO.