You are blooming too! Only differently.

It's that time of the quarter when I get to write on here!! My first two articles were discussions centered around customer experience and employee experience, two areas that I am extremely passionate about and eager to continue to make my mark championing. Even so, my last two articles for the year are going to be a bit more personal and more about you as an individual, this is going to be heartfelt.

I'll start off by saying that the views in this article may not be for every reader, and that's perfectly fine. But for the hearts that believe divine destiny is the very essence of what is guiding our life courses, if we are willing to be led and if we yield, then this here encouragement is for you! My mind is racing because I have many thoughts around this, but I hope to keep this one short and sweet!

A few years ago, I realized that I had began to reach a point within me where in as much as I was working towards becoming and achieving more out of my life, I was content in the now, more so, in whatever form my now took on in different seasons, as is. And no matter what was going on in the next person's life, I believed we were all right where we were supposed to be. This mindset shift began a change of my perception on life and my reactions towards what happened in my life, and it continues to progress and birth a better and higher version of me.

I saw a meme sometime that was touching on the kind of pressure social media gives and it went on to say something in the line of Instagram being child's play and that LinkedIn is where the real pressure to become more is really at! That the accolades and achievements people have and parade on here will leave one deep in the trenches self doubt and depression.

I couldn't help but laugh and also be deeply moved. To me, it's not about LinkedIn or any other social media platform, but about how this reality is played out in real life, away from social media. I often say social media platforms simply amplify mindsets and thought patterns and the reality on the ground of what is really going on in and with people and in society.

My guess is many of us can relate to a time when we were, or currently still are, caught up in the mental headspace of 'others' being 'ahead' of us and advancing further on while all our strides and efforts seemed to be stagnated or moving way too slowly or are seemingly always hitting dead ends.

Why is that though?

Could it be because we have been blinded by inaccurate perceptions like comparison and copying that we fail to notice that life is all meant to be a buffet vs. a fixed and set menu? Could it be that we don't yet understand the beauty of our uniqueness and the unique tales our lives tell? Have we been preoccupied trying to be like the next person? Perhaps we have become so caught up in looking at others and trying to pick from them so that we can become us when all along we were to bring something unique and different and fresh to the table? Isn't it high time that we learn to stop doing life looking outward for validation and instead tune in and listen within?

I once heard one of my sisters say that "comparison robs you of what you uniquely bring to the table."

I have come to the understanding that in the divine order of things, no two lives are meant to be the same. Life is not supposed to be a linear experience. There should be no set age for certain activities or achievements. You are never too old or too young or too rich or too poor or too male or too female or too single or too married too divorced etc to pursue and the dream that God put in your heart or explore and unveil the ideas in your mind further.

A limiting belief fixed mindset, imposed on us from culture, traditions, society and what not would have us thinking this way, whereas an unlimited belief of endless possibilities in this lifetime growth mindset, would open us and our minds up to the unending potential our lives are meant to carry and display.

Is the system rigged though? Are the systems set up against this type of belief system? Indeed, it is not transparent and it is many times dishonest and deceptive. A tweet I saw in passing the other day asked something to the tune of "How old were you when you realized being really nice and working really hard and taking on more than you should would not automatically be rewarded." I absolutely concur that they system is flawed to an ever mutating survival for the fittest model and daily attempts to coerce you to dance to the tune of the powers that be at the top of the food chain. Nevertheless, I also believe that it all boils down to one's values and belief systems and choices and the sacrifices one is willing to endure through. And realizing also that you can't beat them at their own twisted game and rules, so opt out of playing their game and forgo their flashy shiny and attractive temporary rewards they've been dangling at you like a carrot. Be ready to do the heavy lifting of discovering and building your own authentic reality, no more games and rules and realizing that out here, even the simple act of the first steps of learning how to build and drawing from within and creating your own resources and meeting others who are doing the same is the real reward, that no-one can take from you, it is real and it is lasting and eventually, even when the 'shiny and attractive' rewards come, the ones you previously walked away from come, they will be contextualized much better in your life and not simply be surface level. Perhaps this is a bigger discussion for another day. Even so, like I heard Denzel say in an interview discussing the bias and setbacks in the industry especially on black actors. "Yeah and so what? Are you going to give up? If you are looking for an excuse, you will find one. You can't live like that, you just do the best you can do. I keep pushing realizing what an opportunity I have to prove them wrong." The Denzel Washington clip

It would be an injustice not to remind us that a lot about how success had been defined and taught to us is surface level and deceitful and when it's all said and done, only serves to give us temporary highs and sucks out our souls thriving mode and all the true life in us, leaving us empty and desolate and soulless at best. This life is more than titles and status and power and achievements and accomplishments and accumulation of stuff, all of which fades away, all of this is fickle because change is inevitable. Companies shut down or jobs end or governments change power or competition gains majority of the market share or the crowd eventually moves on to someone or something else, or one day you look up and realize you don't command as much influence as you once did and there's a new kid on the block who is younger or smarter and took over your turf, or the house whose purchase once had you so excited starts to inevitably experience wear and tear as the years go by, or the cars get old and are no longer the hottest in the market, or you get older and weaker or sick and immobile. The list goes on. The point here is, change is inescapable and you have to do even much more to keep up with these fading away things, isn't that exhausting and a waste of precious time?

Life is an experience and a journey. A journey about true fulfillment and authenticity to yourself, others and to the true reason for your existence. It is about discovering and embarking on your God-given assignment(s). Step away from the busy and the demands of life and the expectations from society's definitions of everything as often as you can and rediscover what really matters in life, so you can be sober enough to evaluate and be sure that what you are spending most of your time(life) doing is what matters when it's all said and done.

Today I only stopped by to probe your mind with some questions and share some of my thoughts and leave you to ponder some food for thought. So, I'll end it here with this short story from the other day when I got a Facebook notification of this memory of an old post of mine, birthed from this new mindset I had grown into. Here's what I shared, three years ago, on September 15, 2018.

Here's one final reminder today that your life is all happening as it should.

Yet another 2018 memory haha! It would seem I was on a deep work expedition that year! Then again, when am I ever not :)

If you are honest and genuine about your story and your work, you will be okay with it as is, you will understand that you are in alignment and are being guided, and that all the pieces of the puzzle will come together. Plus, I just need to throw in that in some cases we have no idea what goes on behind the scenes and what some people are doing to acquire the accolades they show off, we probably would not hold them in such high regard or want what they have if we knew the whole story...

Don't be intimidated by other people's creativity, or their work or their strides and accomplishments, instead, be inspired and motivated by it! Do no taint the purity and beauty and uniqueness of your story, right now, as is, you are actually blooming! Don't miss it and don't lose it trying to look like another's. Stop and smell the roses. Stop looking out, Look within. Open the eyes of your heart and be amazed!

So inhale, exhale, and breathe. You are right where you need to be. "How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is?the experience you are having at the moment. Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for your evolution." Eckhart Tolle

Ultimately, what I am saying is, stay determined! Don't take your eyes off the ball, don't belittle your story, don't despise the richness and beauty of each stage of your journey, don't give up on the dreams you have been blessed to have. Keep watering your garden and pruning it and adding manure and fertilizer and taking out the weeds and all that is necessary to keep your plants and flowers alive and healthy. Keep at it, whatever your IT is/are. And in the fullness of time, your garden will enter its full bloom!

Your existence is to continually bring forth a fresh and unique and never seen before aspect of God your Creator. Don't be blinded by comparison and copying. Truly Be as beautifully unique as you were individually created to Become!

Until next time...keep Blooming!

"The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are." - John Burroughs