You Are the Biggest Bully in the Room...

1.???? This Week's Encouragement:

Coaching is a symbiotic relationship. I am blessed to grow alongside my clients, learning as much from them as they do from me. Last week, I had the privilege of sharing with one of my clients just how deeply she inspires me. She was concluding a transformative hybrid program that integrated hypnotherapy and coaching—an incredibly powerful combination.

During one of our sessions, I posed a question that cut to the core: Who do you need to become to achieve your greatest goal? Her response unveiled a painful truth—her self-perception was harsh, and the negative narrative that played on repeat in her mind was relentless. This wasn’t just a private struggle; it manifested in procrastination, accepting projects that undervalued her, and allowing her personal and professional boundaries to be dismantled.

I had to stop the session in its tracks. My heart brimmed with empathy, but I spoke with unwavering conviction: “You are the biggest bully in the room.” If a stranger spoke to her the way she spoke to herself, there would be no question—it would provoke a fight. We both paused, tears welling up, fully aware of the real work that lay ahead. Old programming and destructive thought patterns don’t simply dissolve; they demand persistent effort to overcome. This is not a temporary battle—it’s a lifelong commitment.

For her, we employed a powerful combination of hypnotherapy, daily affirmations, and structured weekly action plans to rebuild her confidence and propel her toward her goals. This was not just about self-improvement; it was about reclaiming her power by changing the way she communicated with herself.

This experience has deepened my resolve to serve more effectively. I immediately starting writing and researching to develop a set of tools to help in this very personal fight. My mission is to help you Be a Better Bully—to confront and conquer the bullies in your life, both internal and external, through the power of communication. That’s why I am thrilled to introduce our new programs, “Inside Bully” and “Outside Bully.”

My rallying cry for you today: Speak to yourself with the same kindness, compassion, grace, and encouragement you would offer your closest friend."

2. Reading Recommendation: ?Change Your Questions, Change Your Future

I devoured this one! I couldn’t put this book down!

More than just a guide, Change Your Questions, Change Your Future is a transformative journey. In this insightful and practical read, psychotherapist Elliott Connie and Adam Froerer show us that the questions we ask ourselves hold the power to reshape our lives. By getting honest and asking the right questions, you can craft a new, hopeful vision for your future—one filled with possibilities you may never have imagined.

This book isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Connie and Froerer provide actionable tips, strategies, and practices that you can return to again and again, no matter the situation. And as your vision evolves, so will your beliefs and actions, aligning you with the future you truly desire.

If you’re ready to shift your mindset and unlock new potential, this book is a must-read.

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3. Listening Exercise: You to You

Listen to how you talk to yourself. If those words were broadcasted for the world to hear, would they be uplifting or critical?

Today, when you catch yourself being harsh, pause and reframe. Replace the criticism with the same kindness you'd offer a friend.

Here’s your task: When you slip up, write down what you’d say to encourage a friend. Then, say it to yourself.

A small change in self-talk can make a big difference.

4. Quote:

"Your inner critic is simply a voice, not a fact. Challenge it, and change the narrative." — Lauren Mackler

5. Ask Keita:

Q: Dear Keita,

I’ve been struggling with self-doubt and negative self-talk for as long as I can remember. Every time I’m about to take a big leap that voice in my head starts telling me I’m not good enough, that I’ll fail, and that I don’t deserve success. Eventually, I fumble or don't even bother. It’s holding me back, and I’m tired of it.

On top of that, I’ve noticed that when I’m stressed at work, I sometimes take it out on my team, snapping at them or being overly critical. I don’t want to be this person, but I feel stuck. How do I stop being my own worst enemy?

Sincerely,

Stuck in the Loop

A: Dear Stuck in the Loop,

First, let me say that you are not alone—many of us have been there. That nagging inner voice that tears you down is what I call the "Inside Bully." It’s the part of you that feeds on self-doubt and fear, keeping you from reaching your full potential. The good news? You can rewrite that narrative.

Our Inside Bully program is designed to help you tackle that negative self-talk head-on. By reprogramming the way you speak to yourself, you’ll not only boost your self-esteem but also align your actions with your goals.

As for the moments when stress leads you to take your frustrations out on your team—that’s where the Outside Bully program comes in. This program focuses on refining your communication skills, increasing your self-awareness, and managing your reactions to external pressures. It’s about learning to lead with firm grace, turning potentially harmful interactions into opportunities for connection and growth.

Remember, leadership starts with how you lead yourself. By addressing both your Inside and Outside Bullies, you’ll become a more resilient, compassionate, and effective leader. Let’s work together to transform those voices of doubt into drivers of success.

Take the first step—book a call today to explore how these programs can help you overcome self-sabotage and lead with confidence.

As always, I appreciate you taking the time spend a few minutes with me this week. If you found value in today’s insights, I’d love to hear from you! Please like, share, and comment—your thoughts help us grow and connect with more people on their journey to success.

Let's get after it.

Keita -- Your Favorite Success Bully