Are You the Best Version of Yourself?

The only way for you to be truly happy, fulfilled and to reach your full potential is to work relentlessly to become the best overall version of yourself possible. Excellence is not something you can compartmentalize. How you do anything is how you do everything.

Holding yourself to a high standard in every area of your life must become a habit. And remember - habits are things we do consistently - not just when we want to, when we feel like it or when it's convenient.

Can you still achieve and perform at a high level by neglecting certain areas of your life? Absolutely. But you won't be as great as you are capable of. You will be great in spite of your habits, not because of them.

As I look at my life - I aim to be the best father, corporate speaker, leadership performance coach, entrepreneur and social influencer that I am capable of. Not to mention the best son, brother and friend I can be.

But growth and development in these areas don't happen by accident. Growth and development only happens through intentional, purposeful action.

For me personally, I aim to grow and develop in 4 areas of my life:

1.   Physical

2.   Mental

3.   Emotional

4.   Spiritual

I believe these 4 pillars are highly inter-related. I can't maximize one pillar without growing in all 4. And I’ve experienced first hand that neglecting one can absolutely have an adverse affect on the other 3.

For those that don’t know, I am an amicably divorced, 41-year-old father of 3 young children.

And I can say with full confidence - that right here, right now - is the happiest and most fulfilled I have ever been in my entire life. I have tremendous clarity, a strong sense of self-awareness and an experienced perspective. 

And I attribute this to my relentless pursuit of intentional development in my 4 chosen pillars.

I simply want to share my perspective for each pillar in hopes you find it helpful in your life.

1.   The Physical Pillar: I eat well, work out consistently and get plenty of sleep. While I can't do everything I could do in my early 20's and Men's Health won't be calling me for a cover shoot - I look and feel as well as I ever have in my adult life (most certainly since having kids). My secret is no secret at all. In fact, it is very basic. I chose to eat a diet primarily of fish, chicken, lean beef, veggies, fruits and nuts. I chose not to eat much dairy, whole grains or breads. My goal is to eat this way about 80 to 90% of the time. The other 10-20% I enjoy a good burger and fries, some pizza or a decadent dessert. I chose to strength train 2-3 times per week for 20 to 30 minutes… relying mostly on bodyweight exercises. I try to mix in some interval work (sprints/hills) to improve my cardiovascular health. And when my schedule allows I take yoga. Additionally I choose to get 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night, with minimal exception. That's it. Eat well, put in work and get some sleep. And without question, this way of living has not only allowed me to look and feel my best, it has absolutely had a positive impact on the other 3 pillars.

2.   The Mental Pillar: I view my mind the way I view my body and I only feed it the good stuff. I choose to refrain from watching the news, reading the newspaper or listening to talk radio. Instead, I chose to stay well informed and well educated through legit social media outlets. I chose not to read gossips magazines or watch reality TV. IMO, that is the mental equivalent of eating McDonalds. I choose to consistently read, watch and listen to educational and inspirational resources, books and podcasts. I have recently started using the Headspace guided meditation app twice a day (10 minutes when I first wake up and 10 minutes right before bed).

3.   The Emotional Pillar: I have learned, through almost 2 years of professional counseling/therapy, how to increase my self-awareness, share my true feelings openly and allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable. I used to put up walls and keep my emotions bottled up. I used to suppress and ignore the areas of my life that bothered me. And I used to allow other people's thoughts and opinions of me to dictate my self worth. I would wear a proverbial clown mask to hide my insecurities, frustrations and self-doubt. Now I chose the exact opposite. And it has been liberating. I take pride in having a very high emotional IQ. But it takes consistent work. It takes practice. I have a series of reflective exercises I do often to recalibrate and I don’t from having tough conversations.

4.   The Spiritual Pillar: I have a strong belief system, but I choose not to follow any conventional religion or faith. However, this is an area I have been exploring daily for over a year now. I adamantly believe that ones spiritual pillar is highly personal - so I will simply leave it at that – as I don’t want my belief system to offend anyone or alienate me.

I hope you find my journey helpful as you continue to become the best version of yourself!