Are You Being a Victim or an Owner?

“Today is a new day. Don’t let your past determine your future. Let today be the moment you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start creating the life you truly deserve. You hold the power and the time to transform your life. Break free from the chains of victimhood and embrace the greatness that’s always been within you. You were never meant to live a life of mediocrity!” ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?– Steve Maraboli

Are You Living as a Victim, or Are You Taking Ownership of Your Life?

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A few years ago, I had the privilege of attending a life-changing seminar by one of the most transformative coaches I’ve ever known—Steve Chandler. During that event, he posed a question that has stayed with me ever since:

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Are you living as a victim, or are you stepping up and owning your life?

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At first glance, it sounds simple. But when you really stop and reflect, this question has the power to completely shift your mindset.

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We don’t always have control over what life throws our way—its twists, turns, and unexpected challenges. But here’s the truth: We always have control over how we respond.

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The choice is ours.

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You can choose to see yourself as a victim of your circumstances, feeling powerless and trapped. Or, you can choose to own your experiences, using each challenge as a stepping stone toward the life you truly want.

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I’m reminded of an incredible story I heard about two brothers who were studied by researchers from the time they were infants.

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These two boys grew up in the same home with the same father—a man who struggled with addiction, could never hold down a job, and even served time in prison. Their childhood was anything but easy.

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Years later, the researchers reached out to both brothers, who were now in their early 30s.

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The first brother’s life had taken a dark turn. He, too, had struggled with drugs and alcohol, had been to jail, and found himself alienated from his own family. When asked why his life had gone down this path, his response was simple:

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“With a father like mine, how could I be any different?”

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The second brother, however, had an entirely different story. He graduated from college, built a career he was passionate about, raised a loving family, and made a meaningful impact in his community. When asked how he’d achieved all of this, his response was strikingly similar:

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“With a father like mine, how could I be any different?”

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Same father. Same upbringing. Yet, two very different lives. Why? Because the second brother chose to own his experiences, not allow them to define him, and used his challenges to fuel his drive for a better life.

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We all face obstacles. There will be times when life hits us hard. It’s easy to slip into the role of a victim and start blaming our circumstances. We may find ourselves asking questions like:

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“Why does this always happen to me?” “Why do people treat me like this?” “Why can’t I ever get a break?”

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But here's the powerful truth: When you look closely at the challenges in your life, you’ll see a common denominator—YOU.

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That doesn’t mean you’re to blame for everything that’s gone wrong. It’s about realizing that you have the power to shift your story at any moment. You’re in control of your response, and that response shapes your future.

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So, how do we move from victimhood to ownership? Here are three questions that can help you shift your mindset and reclaim your power:

1. What’s really happening here? Pause. Step back. When we take a moment to look at our situation without our emotions clouding our vision, we often discover that things aren’t as bad as they initially seem. By separating the facts from the story we’ve told ourselves, we open the door to clarity and powerful action.
2. What role did I play in creating, promoting, or allowing this situation? This isn’t about self-blame. It’s about taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made—or haven’t made. When you understand how your thoughts, actions, and attitudes may have contributed to your current situation, you unlock the power to change your future.
3. What’s my next right move? Taking action, no matter how small, is the key to breaking free. As my mentors, Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick, often say: “God meets us at the point of action.” When you take the first step, even if it’s asking for help or reaching out for guidance, things begin to shift. The path forward opens up.

If you're ready to move from victim to owner and start taking full responsibility for your life, then I’d love to invite you to explore my Breaking Through?Online Course. This course is designed to guide you through powerful mindset shifts, practical tools, and actionable steps to break free from limiting beliefs, take full ownership of your life, and begin creating the future you’ve always dreamed of.

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The?Breaking Through?Online Course?will help you build the confidence to move past challenges, shift your mindset from one of limitation to one of empowerment, and create a clear action plan for the life you want to lead. If you’re ready to stop being a victim and start being the powerful owner of your own life, this course could be exactly what you need.

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As you move through this week, pay attention to the challenges you encounter. When you feel yourself slipping into the victim mindset, ask yourself these questions. Be mindful of how you respond—because, often, our biggest struggles end up being our greatest opportunities for growth and transformation.

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Remember: You are the creator of your destiny. Whether you see yourself as a victim or as the empowered owner of your life is entirely up to you.

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So, let me ask you once more—are you a Victim, or are you an Owner? The choice is yours.

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Chris Natzke Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching