Are You Being Manipulated By Your Boss?

Recent research has shown that bad boss behaviours have gone up by a whopping 50 per cent in the past few years.

And it can manifest itself in many different ways, from purposeful exclusion from team meetings/activities to consistently taking credit for your work or even disrupting or overloading you with work, or purposely withholding information from you.

Sometimes manipulative behaviour at work is driven by the need to control a targeted individual.

As US leadership expert Dana Severson explains in a recent Inc.com article, there are usually some very obvious signs that your boss may be manipulating you.

These include:

 1. Playing the ‘guilt card’

 A manipulative boss will often try to make you feel guilty by constantly reminding you about how he or she has helped you in the past or playing on the influence they have over you

 2. Giving you the ‘silent treatment’

 When a boss ignores your texts or emails, it can sometimes be an expression of psychological dominance. And this ‘freezing you out’ can be frustrating especially if you need to discuss important matters such as job issues, challenges or needs.

 3. Placing blame onto others

 A crafty and manipulative boss knows how to ‘handball’ the blame to others when it arises. And by avoiding responsibility when things go wrong, these bosses are adept at making scapegoats of their employees

4. Distorting the facts

 Because many controlling bosses are also compulsive liars, they are quite happy to ‘muddy the waters’ by engaging in half-truths and innuendo to get what they want, and retain control over their staff. Masters of deception, these bosses are also expert at hiding their own shortcomings.

5. Being aggressive or bullying

 By raising his or her voice to dominate you and retain their control, a manipulating boss is skilled at asserting their psychological superiority. It may be a childish attitude but if your boss is manipulative, they will stop at nothing to get what they want.

 6. Regular use of ‘put downs’

 Some bosses are skilled at ‘keeping you in your place’ by using sarcastic or negative comments in front of you. They are expert at the ‘sideways’ put down: whether it is about your appearance, your qualifications, or even what sort of phone you have. With mean bosses it is all about making you feel inadequate

7. Baffling you with bureaucracy

 Controlling bosses regularly use the official line of office bureaucracy or ‘officialdom’ to slow down your efforts, and thereby maintain their dominance over you. It may be a more subtle form of dominance but it is highly effective, nonetheless.

 Of course, the real secret to dealing with a manipulative or controlling boss is to first recognise the manipulation; and then decide the best way to move forward. 

This is not always easy, especially if the leader is also charismatic and able to convince some of the other members of the team to follow them unconditionally.

As US marketing and leadership guru Allan Gannett explains in a recent Fast Company article, the line between manipulation and persuasion is actually pretty clear.

Basically, it all comes down to asking one question: Is this in the person’s best interest?

If it is not - and especially if it is also in the boss’s own interest - it is manipulation.

Not only is it the wrong thing to do, but it also creates a raft of problems down the line.

Persuasion is fine, as long as it is in the person’s interest. Manipulation, however - in whatever form it may take - most definitely is not.