Are you beating yourself up?

Leave a Comment / By Katherine Hood / September 2, 2024

Got negative self talk? Some do and are in denial about it, or see it as "helpful"

I used to think I was alone in this struggle of setting arbitrary self-imposed deadlines for myself. For the longest time, I felt like I was the only one putting this unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve certain goals by a certain time.

It wasn't until I retired that I saw it and experienced it experientially.

I thought it was my circumstance and other people that created the expectations, nope it was all me!

Now years into my coaching practice, I realized many others struggle with this same issue.

• It's a common trait among individuals who are driven and ambitious, always striving for more and pushing themselves to their limits. But I've learned that it's important to find a balance and not let these deadlines consume us.

There is a delicate balance that must be maintained when it comes to setting goals.

It is important to strive for success and push yourself to achieve great things, but it is equally important to recognize and acknowledge when you are pushing yourself too hard and risking burnout.

Achieving a balance between ambition and self-care is essential to prevent getting trapped in a cycle of misery and overwhelm. It is important to set realistic goals and to listen to your body and mind when they signal that you need to take a step back and reevaluate your approach. This requires being conscious, aware, and connected with your body, especially when it's signaling you're nearing the redline.

Remember, it is not just about achieving goals, but also about maintaining your well-being and happiness along the way.

In the past, I found myself constantly berating myself for falling behind in various aspects of my life. I would experience an overwhelming sense of urgency, feeling as though I needed to accomplish everything all at once. What's funny is no one's perception of me was anything like this. On paper and in public, I appeared successful, and I was in terms of achievements, awards, and accomplishments. Where I wasn't successful was in balancing work, and my mental, emotional, and physical health.

This inner voice would shame me for not living up to my full potential, constantly reminding me that I was not good enough and unworthy of success. It drove me to push my own needs and well-being further down the to-do list.

I listened, believed and became very attached to these negative thoughts, stories and beliefs.

And sometimes a kind and well-meaning friend would say, "Gosh, you're so hard on yourself. You'd never be this hard on anyone else." And I'd agree, laugh it off, justify, and have my excuses ready. "I'm hard on myself because if I am not I will fail."

• No wonder I didn't feel good about myself and was so unhappy.
• No wonder I was pushing myself to the brink of a breakdown.
• No wonder I secretly hated the pressure.
• It's no wonder that I hit a plateau. I wanted, demanded, and expected so much from myself.

See how the "mind" or voices in your head can create a life of misery and suffering?

See how when we become attached, justify and create excuses for thinking and believing something harmful we suffer?

Every action is a reflection of what is happening in our mind.

I used to think I was the only one!

Join the club. We all do it.

It may have a different lingo, flavor, or style.

There's a whole lot of us out there, doing ourselves this disservice.

There's a lot of people walking around with a voice in their head beating themselves up and creating a life they want to escape from.

This is doing you and the world a disservice.

Because instead of getting the best of us, we are giving out crumbs.

I now have undeniable proof and concrete evidence that I truly and deeply cherish every moment of my life with unwavering enthusiasm and positivity. It is not just about prioritizing my mental, emotional, and physical well-being above all else, AND I also embrace each day with a loving, compassionate heart for myself and others. This has me jumping out of bed each morning, ready to conquer whatever challenges and opportunities come my way.

I no longer feel the need to constantly escape through vacations or other distractions, because I have cultivated a life that is fulfilling and satisfying in every way imaginable. My days are filled with purpose, joy, and a sense of fulfillment that extends far beyond temporary pleasures – I am truly living my best life in every sense of the word.

Think of yourself on your absolute best days. You wake up with passion and confidence, so motivated to do the thing. You bring your absolute best self to all you do. You're generous and kind in how you think about yourself. The magic of you shines through with every word, every action.

Imagine having that every day!

When you compare how you show up when you are kind and compassionate to yourself versus when you are mean and critical, the difference is striking. When you are mean to yourself, you are essentially holding yourself back from reaching your full potential. You are dimming your light and concealing the magical abilities that lie within you. Your have blinders on to what opportunities and incredible gifts are right in front of you.

On the other hand, when you are kind and loving towards yourself, you are allowing yourself to shine brightly and fully embrace all that you are capable of. When operating from this energy, you'll attract incredible people into your sphere and abundance will bloom.

It is important to remember that you are worthy and deserving of all the good things life has to offer. So, be gentle with yourself and allow your light to shine brightly for all to see.

We need all of us to shine.

• What if we release ourselves from the constraints of the self-imposed negative self-talk of hatred?
• What if we trust that we are exactly where we're supposed to be?
• What would that do for the world?
• What would that do for YOU?
• What would open up for you?

Imagine what your life would be like!

If you need some help finding yourself, and breaking the thought habit of beating yourself up I am here to show you the path.

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Need support?? Have you considered a life coach?

Want to train your brain to work for you rather than against your goals, I can help!

To see what it takes to work with me as your coach, click HERE