Are You a Bad Leader or Have You Just Made Leadership Mistakes?

"I'm resigning and starting my own company," my employee informed me. "I haven't been happy here for a long time and feel my skills are underutilized and not appreciated."

It was a gut punch.

Not only were they one of my best performers, but I literally had no idea they felt this way. Not even a hint, and apparently, it had been this way for some time.

Wow, how could I have been so blind about what this person was going through and how they felt?

On the drive home that night, I kept repeating to myself that I was a horrible leader and needed to go back to being an individual contributor. A good leader would never have this happen, would never have employees who feel this way, and so on.

And I wish I could say that this was the only time I felt this way, but throughout my years as a leader, there were a number of times of self-reflection where my conclusion was "I am a bad leader."

Maybe you've had a similar experience and are wondering, "Am I a 'bad leader,' or have I simply made leadership mistakes?" This is a question that requires careful consideration, as the line between the two is often blurry.

In this article, I'll share some insights to help you navigate this introspective journey.

Reflect on Your Intentions and Values

Intentions: Consider the leadership role you are currently in.? Why are you here? Were your intentions solely driven by personal gain, or did you genuinely believe in the organization, project, or team’s impact and aim to guide and support your team toward success? What were your intentions, and who or what were they in service of?

Values: Recall a situation where you had to choose between a decision aligned with your core values but unpopular within your organization. Reflect on the internal conflict you experienced and how you resolved it. How frequently do you uphold your values compared to complying with what you believe is required but may conflict with your values?

It's evident that the answers to these questions may not be black and white. Perhaps you genuinely believe in the organization or project and want to assist the team, but to be honest, taking on the leadership role also aligns with your career aspirations. It's essential to acknowledge that leaders' motivations can sometimes be a blend of various factors. Recognize these subtleties in your leadership journey and consider how your intentions have evolved over time. Reflect on where the bulk of your intentions are directed. If you had to assign a percentage, was it 80% about you and 20% for the team? Are you content with this distribution? Ponder how this percentage influences your presence, communication, leadership style, and decision-making. If you're dissatisfied with this balance, what changes would you make, and how would they impact your leadership and your perception of it?

Examine Your Leadership Track Record

Recall how you've led your team. Consider both successes and setbacks. Have there been instances where your actions and decisions had a positive impact on your team and organization?

Consider a specific leadership mistake you've made, such as a miscommunication that led to issues. Analyze the circumstances, your intentions, and the steps you've taken to prevent a recurrence.

Leadership is rarely defined by a single instance. Reflect on the overall impact of your leadership over time. Are there patterns of success that outweigh occasional setbacks? Did you want to and subsequently seek to learn and grow from your mistakes?

Seek Feedback and External Perspective

Imagine that you've recently completed a project, and your team members have varying opinions about your leadership style. Some offer constructive feedback, while others remain silent. How do you react? What did you do with this feedback? What story do you tell yourself about the feedback or the person giving the feedback? Consider how feedback has influenced your leadership style.

Analyze Your Response to Setbacks

Consider a situation where you and your team's performance fell short of expectations. Reflect on your initial response. Did you react with frustration and disappointment? Did you blame others? How did you take ownership?

Recall a moment when you faced adversity or made a significant mistake as a leader. Describe how you handled it, whether it led to personal growth, and how you applied the lessons learned.

Responses to setbacks can vary, and it's normal to experience mixed emotions. Consider the context and the degree of your response. Did you acknowledge the setback and work towards solutions, or did you dwell on it without taking productive action?

Understanding the Results:

Based on your self-assessment and the feedback you've gathered, you may find yourself in a nuanced position:

1. You've Made Leadership Mistakes:

• Acknowledge that leadership is a journey filled with learning experiences. You've shown resilience by recognizing and learning from your errors.
• Embrace the complexities of leadership and continue to evolve. Share your growth with your team as a testament to the value of learning from setbacks.

2. You Identify as a 'Bad Leader':

• If you find that your actions have consistently fallen short of your intentions and values, it's time for introspection and change.? Own it!
• Be courageous and seek professional development, coaching, or mentorship to address the underlying issues in your leadership approach. Reflect on how your intentions can align better with your values.

Leadership is a dynamic journey filled with learning opportunities, and the answers to whether you're a 'bad leader' or simply one who has made mistakes often lie in the shades of gray. By engaging in this process and considering the complexities of leadership, you can gain clarity about your leadership identity and take appropriate steps to enhance your effectiveness or if need be, make a change.

Whether you've made leadership mistakes or find yourself questioning your leadership abilities, the key is to remain committed to growth and improvement. Leadership is not about perfection; it's about continuous evolution, adaptability, and a sincere dedication to the betterment of yourself and your team.

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