Are You Attracting Love or Just Chasing It?

The kind of love you want starts with you. Here’s how...

Welcome to that season of Love when the singles are not allowed to breethhh in peace. Also why do I feel like February is in some kind of race? ?? Anyway, I’m super excited today—well, not literally jumping-off-the-walls excited, but a few things are making me really happy.

1. I’ve been getting so much love in my DMs and emails lately! Knowing that what I’m doing is being read and seen means the world to me. So, in summary, I’m incredibly grateful for the gift of you—ALL OF YOU. ??
2. I’ll be sharing on the topic Love today. One of our Triberzz suggested I write about it—not in a TED Talk way, but just sharing what I’m learning. And honestly, I have thoughts.
3. I’m writing this edition on a Monday evening because last week was really rough. I had this major design task with a tight deadline to meet up with and well I finally wrapped a major part of it up and whewww, I LOVE IT! I’m obsessed with my own creation and honestly it makes me so happy.
4. Lastly Some days, you kill seven birds with one stone. Other days, you kill one bird with seven stones. But Last week? The bird nearly got me. It’s been tough, but I’m not giving up. I’m staying LOCKED IN. What about you?

One Thing I’m Doing: Prepping for an Interview

Whew! This one has me stressed ??.

I’ve been super lucky to get direct referrals that don’t require interviews but now I have to go through the full process. And i do not want to just pass—I really want to pass excellently.

So, I’ve been reading widely, researching the role like crazy and honestly sometimes feeling so anxious. My accountability partner reminded me that anxiety isn’t necessarily bad FR —it just means I really want this, hence the key is making sure it doesn’t overshadow my confidence What’s been helping?

• Bible verses about trusting God.
• Reminding myself that I am qualified.
• Encouragement from friends and family.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. And if you have any tips for tackling interview nerves—send them my way!

One Thing I’m Learning: Being the Love I Seek

Ever since I got the request to write about love, I’ve been thinking about it seriously —not just romantic love but love as a way of being. One thing I’m realizing or I’ve always known is that love isn’t something I find; it’s something I become.

If I want deep, stable and kind love, I have to embody those qualities first.

?? I attract who I am not just what I want. That changes everything. Instead of focusing on the kind of partner I desire, I should focus on the kind of person I am in a relationship. Instead of obsessing over my ideal partner, I’m asking:

• Am I emotionally mature?
• Do I bring peace or chaos?
• Am I patient and kind or just hoping someone else will be?

The love I seek has to start with me.

?? Then there’s healing. Am I craving love from a place of fullness or lack? If I need love to fill a void, I’ll attract relationships that reflect my wounds instead of my worth. Hence healing before hoping is the key here.

?? Self-love? I believe It’s not just about treating myself to soft life moments. It’s about self-respect. If I expect loyalty, care and consistency from someone else, I have to hold myself to the same standard.

?? And then, there’s energy—whew!!, energy is everything. If I move in insecurity, fear or unworthiness, I’ll attract people who confirm those beliefs. But if I walk in confidence, joy and peace, I’ll draw in people who match that. So instead of asking, “Do they like me?” I’m shifting to, “Do I like how I feel around them?” Worddd abi??

?? Most importantly,I strongly believe that love isn’t just about relationships. It’s meant to be a lifestyle. If I want more love in my life, I have to give more love—to my friends, in my conversations, in my actions. Love flows, it doesn’t wait unless in korean movies ofcourse.

So, instead of waiting for someone to love me the way I desire, I’m choosing to be that love (I am already tho). And when real love comes, I’ll recognize it—because it’ll already feel familiar within me. Do any of these make sense? ?? I’d love to hear your thoughts—seriously, let me know! And yes, in 2022 i hosted a Valentines Day: Love or Lust episode on my podcast, Let’s Be Blunt. Here’s the link to listen—make sure to check it out when you can!

One Thing You Should Try: Give a Random Gift

It’s the season of love, so here’s a little challenge: Get a random friend a gift. No special reason, just to appreciate them.

It doesn’t have to be expensive—a heartfelt diary, a playlist or even their favorite snack. Just be very thoughful with it.

Trust me, small acts of love do go a long way.

Now It’s Your Turn!

?? What’s one thing you’re doing, learning or you think i should try this week? I’d love to hear from you—hit reply and share with me! I genuinely read every response.

Until next Monday, be the love you seek—and if this resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it too. ??

With Love,

Akodu Loveth - That Tech Babe