Are You In the Arena?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena" Theodore Roosevelts The Man In the Arena speech.

I invite you to read this quote again and then ask yourself are you in the arena? It was one thing to define your version of success, break it down into smaller goals and come up with a plan but are you doing the work?

This is the hardest part. Stepping out from the darkness and relative safety of the corridor into the searing bright light of the arena, where the space feels endless, where the sound is deafening and where the gut wrenching feeling of exposure takes your breathe away, is a terrifying action to take.

I guarantee you have been in the arena at some point, that moment when you feel like the whole world is watching you, assessing you and ultimately criticising you. The problem we all face is, it is really hard to work, grow and develop in the safe, dark corridor. As scary as the arena is, it is where freedom to be who you truly are lives and breathes.

When I think of the arena metaphor it reminds me of the time I took adult swim lessons at the end of 2014. I had just entered my first Ironman 70.3 triathlon, due to take place in August 2015 in Dublin. Now, I could swim-ish. Not very elegant, no technique and certainly not at the proficiency to complete a 1.9km open water sea swim in Dun Laoghaire.

I booked and paid for my spot in the triathlon, I bought the kit, I read the books and had the training plan but I was still waiting in the safety of the corridors. If I wanted to complete this triathlon I was going to have to step, or in this case swim into the arena.

The adult lessons were great, one week of intense sessions focusing on breathing technique, stroke technique and getting comfortable of having my face the in the water for long periods of time. And for a fair weather, head up swimmer like me when someone tells you to put your face in water and breathe out through your nose your reaction is this

It felt so unnatural and I had to fight my natural instincts not to breathe out with my head in water! I was uncomfortable, but I had the safety net of my instructor so that eased my mind somewhat, however the following week I was on my own!

The feeling of walking into the swimming pool for the first time without the instructor was terrifying. The small community 25m pool might as well have been the sea I was due to swim in 8 months time. It looked so long to me and I was convinced the eyes of all the other swimmers and lifeguards were fixated on me, sensing my fear and dread.

However the pull of taking part in an Ironman triathlon event was greater than my worries and I just started swimming. As expected every few meters I would unceremoniously emerge from the water spluttering and coughing having nearly swallowed half the pool!

They must be looking at me now, they will probably ask me to leave soon. The pull of taking part in an Ironman triathlon was becoming more of a drag. How I am going to swim 1900m in the sea when I can't even swim 5m in the slow lane of the swimming pool?

So, what do I do now? Get out of the pool and return to the quiet safety of the corridor, be happy that I tried and accept that I can't swim? The truth is, no one was looking at me, no one was coming for me, they were doing their own thing.

In so many situations the biggest critic we face is not the people watching from the sidelines it is the critic we have inside our head. When you have the courage to step into the arena you must be your biggest supporter.

I kept swimming, I kept coming up for air. I kept swimming and kept stopping. I kept swimming. I played the words of my swim instructor again and again. I focused on what I needed to do with each and every stroke. Slowly the distances between the stopping and spluttering became longer and longer. After 3 weeks of turning up to the arena of the swimming pool I swam a full 25m length with full breathing technique and without stopping.

I have gone on the complete multiple triathlons from Olympic distance to full Ironman, swimming in rivers, lakes and seas from 1.5km to 3.8km, however that first full 25m length in that small community pool is still my greatest swimming achievement.

Why? Because that is when I really had to work. I had to be vulnerable and face my fears. I had to be willing to fail, fail and fail a few more times. I had to let go of what others may think of me. I had to let go of what I thought of myself.

When you try anything new or different you are putting yourself into an arena where things will go wrong. You will fail, you will doubt yourself, you will be scared, you will fail again, you will question if you are good enough and you will fail again. However if you stay in the arena and embrace all that it is, the good and the bad, you will become stronger than you ever thought was possible.

If you are currently standing in the corridor looking at the arena what will it take for you to step forward into the light?

If you are in the arena, keep working, keep failing, keep learning and keep growing.

Keep chasing those dreams, and when you catch them, dream some more.