Are you always seeking the approval of others

I remember I always used to think of myself as a confident little kid, I was always on stage playing in my band, or at parties and loved being the centre of attention. I did stand-up comedy and was even on the Halifax Bank advert.?

The truth is I made the same mistake a lot of lads do, I mistook the chasing of other people's approval as confidence.?

It showed up when I did a presentation, when I recorded music and even in relationships. I felt the whole point was approval and without it my value went down.?

I remember I used to even chase women because I needed that ‘other’ to tell me I was worthy of something.?

This might all be the most present and painful myth going around that we have created, if you step back we are chasing a feeling in most situations, so we want money because of how we believe it will make us feel (secure, successful etc) or we chase an image of how we look because we want to feel attractive. There is always the feeling we want rather than the ‘thing’ we think we want.?

So I am looking for someone else to give me the perceived feeling of “being good enough” but no matter how many people did, it never quite worked, it didn’t feel how I wanted it to, the same has been reported when high achieving people reach their thing, it was either short-lasting or not hitting at all.?

See although we are getting it, we are not giving it to ourselves, no matter how much others tell you you are good enough, if you yourself believe that you are not enough then that feeling will remain.?

I always describe it as looking for an outside solution to fix an inside problem, it is mowing the lawn to fix a broken fridge.?

If you put your self-worth on the whims of others, all it takes is someone having a bad day, disliking someone who wears glasses or just getting up on the wrong side of bed to make your self-worth plummet.?

You make yourself a victim to the world saying “Define me, let me know how to feel about myself” when instead, if you can sit with the fact and knowledge that you are good enough right now no matter what anyone says then you have already won.?

This isn’t saying you are the finished article, that you can’t aspire and improve, but rather you can do so knowing regardless of your outcome.?

What would be available for you in life if you truly had the confidence of being good enough right now?