You are not alone: Tips that make you go hmmm....

These are uncertain, and testing times around the world right now. This is made even harder with those who have family at a distance, which is the case for many expats within the UAE. For all of us, at a time when we need the support of our loved ones perhaps more than ever, we're being asked (for good reason), to stay apart.

So how can we look after our mental health in all of this?

1. Focus on what is within your control.

It's normal to feel scared for loved ones. To feel nervous about how the global spread of the virus is progressing. To worry about your financial stability. But this worry goes to waste for situations where we have no influence. Worrying about these things will not make them go away.

Instead, focus on what you can change. You are able to put in place infection prevention measures to protect yourself, such as handwashing and distancing. Choosing to look after your nutrition and engaging activity are both great for the body and mind, or using time indoors to get on top of that decluttering you've been meaning to do.

2. Avoid future predicting

When faced with something uncertain, we often start to future predict. Things we may tell ourselves include, 'If I lose my job, I won't be able to find another', or 'If my parents get sick, they will die'. Ask yourself, is that absolutely certain? Human nature draws us to the negative outcomes. What if everything you are worried about doesn't happen, or turns out OK? Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

3. Label that feeling

Whilst its good to challenge your perspectives and gently lean towards optimism, its also important to remember that nothing is constant, and your feelings will rise and subside. Don't gloss over the ones that feel uncomfortable. As the adage goes, what we resist, persists. Pretending a feeling is not there can increase how long it may stick around. By leaning into it, allowing yourself to experience it, and putting a name to it can help you to move to the next phase.

4. Stop wishing for it to be over

 This seems a strange thing to say about a pandemic. Of course we want it to be over. We want people to be safe. For families to be reunited. For our freedoms to be returned and for life to go on.

 All these wants, whilst all valid and highly desirable, prevent us from accepting our reality. When we yearn for something we cannot have, it creates a deep sense of unhappiness, and lessens our ability to make healthy decisions for ourselves.

Life is not on hold, this is life. Just maybe not as expected. 'Often we sit looking at the closed door for so long that we do not see the one that has been opened to us'.

5. Don't try to fit a round peg in a square hole

Things that have worked well for you in the past, such as coping mechanisms, skill sets, routines, beliefs and maybe even relationships, may no longer be appropriate in this strange new world we're now living in. Perhaps its time to do an audit of the things you used to take for granted, and see if they still serve you now circumstances have changed.

6. Sometimes, no news is good news

 It’s always true that our environment seeps into our consciousness somehow. Even if we choose not to read the news, there's so much information, and misinformation, flying around. It can feel like it’s everywhere you look, which can heighten anxiety.

 Whether it’s the headlines showing up on social media, or memes that are doing the rounds on WhatsApp, it’s important to consciously choose how much you want to consume. You can mute friends who share alarmist articles in your newsfeed, unfollow news outlets, and simply tell people in instant messaging circles that you'd like to reduce your exposure to the influx of information, and ask if it would be possible for them to use another channel to discuss these things.

 If you are concerned about missing updates that affect you, nominate someone you trust to be your eyes and ears. Let them know what types of information you would like to know, whether legislation changes for small businesses, new incidents within your city, or new technologies that are supporting information for example.

7. Get the support you need

It’s natural to have a sense of unease right now. Staying connected with loved ones is a key part of reducing rumination, and increasing those happy hormones. Putting things into perspective and knowing you are not alone in many of your feelings can ease the burden. However, if you feel like your anxiety is affecting your health, or quality of life, don't hesitate to get the advice of a medical professional. Many health facilities are now offering virtual appointments, making it easier to get an outside view on that time old questions 'Is this normal?'

 Lorna King

Women Who Want More