You are not alone!

“Another day has gone, I’m still all alone” while this MJ song?played in the background on August 11, 2014 I froze as a heart-breaking news flashed Robin Williams commits suicide. What followed next were shocking revelations about Robin: Depression, Anxiety, Sleep Loss, Paranoia, and Delusions. The smiling face was hiding a lot of emotional baggage. Unlike physical illness, mental illness comes as a silent killer. Robin could never openly speak about this with anyone.

World Health Orgn reports that almost 3.8% of the worlds population suffer from depression. Mental Wellness is often overlooked and especially in the Indian context has a lot of taboo attached with it. In India WHO estimates that the problems are as high as 15%, with more than 258K suicides reported. This is not the end, WHO estimates that the economic loss to India due to mental health conditions continually growing. Expectations being one of the factors leading to stress and depression in India.

When I was in tenth-grade and results were out, my friend’s father was searching for my score even before he searched for his son’s score. Those days we had to pay a premium of 5 Rs. (about a cent) to get our marks from the local printing press. Comparison with other students was rampant. 'You have scored lower than Sharma’s son', a common statement that may sound cliched, but holds true. The National Crime Record Bureau has reported that almost 2500 suicides relate to exam related failures in India. Worst they do not have any medium to speak up.

“Success ke baad ka plan sabke paas hai ... lekin agar galti se fail ho gaye ... toh failure se kaise deal karna hai ... koi baat hi nahi karna chahta”

the distraught father in Chichore said loosely translated to "Everyone has a plan after achieving success ... but if you fail even by mistake ... how you need to deal with failure ... no one talks about that". There is a lot of stress associated with marks and winning. Why go far, I get worked up when Ved my son scores less than perfect. I am learning to hold back the temptation to compare, it’s not easy, my father expected me to be the topper all the time. At School and Under graduation I missed being anywhere closer, I have been topper in Engineering and both of my Post Graduation Courses. It was because I focussed on understanding concepts and not scoring marks. Our results should not decide if we are a winner ... our attempt should. I am proud to share that I have made several outlandish attempts, failed at times yet, I have emerged stronger. When we fail, we should have the courage to speak up, own up and move on. Growing up I never had anyone to talk to. I was afraid and worried about CLKK (Char Log Kya Kahenge): what would others say! Thankfully awareness has increased , few months ago I did an informal survey with corporate HR Heads and learnt that stress management and counselling sessions post CoVid increased by 24%. There is a conscious effort is made to help staff manage anxiety, stress and depression post pandemic. We are all busy, taking time to speak, openly laugh has become a TASK and unless calendared we end up ignoring it. Conscious effort needs to be put in to help build an informal community where we can freely talk about mental health, failures, depression, loneliness – just about anything.

Change begins with me…its not just the intent but the determination and efforts put in that makes a difference. Having 5000 FB friends does not mean anything if we cannot find that one person when we need them the most. During CoVid I too had situations wherein I just wanted to explode, and I would call my friend and just burst out. It worked and helped me stay sane and focussed. Thankfully, I could reach out and speak to my friend.

If ever you feel the need to reach out, and speak I am available. I may not have solutions to all the problems. I am not a psychotherapist or a counsellor but I am willing to listen.

Instead of posting support for random causes on social media, pick up the phone and speak to your friend. Support and encouragement are the two things they need. Depression is treatable, all it needs is the person to be guided to the right resources so that formal medical help is available. Depression is serious and cannot be fixed by talking but talking helps in guiding the person to do the right time. As family, friends or co-workers we are the first line of defence in the fight against depression. We can be that “go to person” who is

-??????A good listener, willing to give time

-??????Available to guide to the right source for formal / medical advice when needed

Let me assure you... You are not alone! I am here for you, You are not alone…