Are You Afraid of Success?

Okay, most of us agree that fear is what holds us back from being successful. But, we’ve also heard the term, “fear of success”. How could that be? Isn’t that what we’re striving for? When we think of all the exciting goals and dreams we have, why on earth would we be afraid of seeing those goals and dreams manifested? One of the most famous quotes on this topic by Marianne Williamson says, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…

Let me tell you one of my stories of fear of success. I love music and have always wanted to be able to play an instrument.  As a teenager, I chose to learn to play the piano because we had one in our home. I practically begged my mother to pay for lessons for me. When she agreed to pay for the lessons, our agreement was that I would take lessons for a year and then decide if I wanted to continue. I was as happy as a lark until I realized that my mother would be present during the lessons.

Even though I was the one who begged my mother to let me take lessons, as I progressed, I became resistant to continuing the lessons. Not because I didn’t enjoy learning to play, but because my mother stayed through the lessons and would often make comments—especially if I made a mistake. The comments weren’t necessarily negative; as a matter of fact, I think she intended them to be encouraging. But, I didn’t want her there, so I would inwardly cringe at her every word.

Did I tell her that her presence made me uneasy? Of course not! The way I was raised, you didn’t tell your parents things like that—you just endured. I had a plan, though. My teenage mind told me that if I was good at it and decided to take lessons for another year, she would continue to sit in on my sessions. So after my year was up, I told her I didn’t want to continue. No amount of trying to reason with me changed my decision (I think my rebellious side was showing), so she allowed me to end my lessons even though I was proving to actually be talented. Ha! I showed her, didn’t I?

Fast forward to today—of course, I totally regret that decision. I simply LOVE music, and continuing my lessons would have allowed me the opportunity to create beauty and express myself through music, but NO—I was more interested in downplaying my abilities so I wouldn’t have to endure my mother’s scrutiny. I was also afraid of becoming a good pianist because that would mean she might expect me to accompany her as she sang in church. I was not about to let that happen! (How infantile!)

Why would people fear being successful? Well, let me give you a few possible reasons:

·        Success brings on additional responsibility (Who wants that? My plate is already full.)

·        Fear of being unable to maintain our success (What if I’m a one-hit wonder?)

·        Fear of the unknown (What comes next? Where do I go from here?)

·        Fear of diminishing motivation (What if I just don’t have the desire anymore?)

·        Fear of attracting predators (The fake friends/well-wishers will come out of the woodwork and they all want something from me.)

·        Fear of losing our identity (What will others expect from me now?)

Fear of success could be the reasons behind failure to progress, procrastination, and self-sabotage. Could you possibly be afraid of becoming successful?