Are you afraid to fail ?

My Life Lessons

As humans everything we do in our lives are driven by two things :

Avoidance of pain &

Wanting to gain pleasur

However, beneath these two factors there is one toxic thing that drives these two.

And this word is called " FEAR".

We all have this so called Fear and there are many forms of fear, one of the strongest forms of fear being the " Fear Of Failure".

Lot's of people glorify their success stories and tell you how wonderful they have been, but behind these success stories are many stories of failures.

I am no exception.

Those moments of darkness, those moments of despair, when I thought the whole world had come crashing down on me, even my own shadow had abandoned me.

But now, as i reflect back, these failures were nothing but life lessons which helped me lay the foundation for my own success.

Let me share some of my own during my 25+ years transitioning across multiple industries, countries, going through countless lessons experiencing failures, which also helped me in fast tracking my own career.

Hope you find this useful !!!

While everyone’s path to professional success varies, some experiences are universal.

We’ve all struggled with fear, self-doubt, or staying motivated at work, for example.

And we all know how difficult it can be to admit a mistake—or stand out in a sea of colleagues.?

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

Jack Canfield

Most of us are afraid to fail—especially when working toward something we care about.

We think we’ll embarrass ourselves, lose respect, or let down our team.

We imagine we’ll ruin our career or otherwise cause irrevocable damage to our life or business.

We see success and failure as mutually exclusive.

We either win, or we lose.

We do, or we don’t.

So, we learn to play it safe.

We choose the work and roles that we know we can do.

We set goals that we know we can make.

We avoid taking risks—or dreaming too big—or stepping too far outside of our comfort zone.

We allow our fear of failure to dictate our decisions and actions.

As a result, we sell ourselves—and our potential—short.?

Imagine This

Patrick works for a small marketing agency.

He typically works behind the scenes—executing a project’s creative vision—rather than talking to clients or developing the vision.?

However, Patrick thinks it would be exciting to play a bigger part in developing the creative vision.

A client-facing role would be challenging—but it would also allow Patrick to step outside of his comfort zone and flex his skills.

But Patrick has doubts.

With more creative freedom comes more pressure and responsibility.

Mistakes are also more consequential when working with the client directly.?“What if I don’t have any creative ideas?”?Patrick worries.?

The Results

Patrick chooses the safe bet.

He settles for his current role, and he doesn’t go after anything more.

He’d rather keep doing something he knows he’s good at than try to do something that he might fail at.

How the Fear of Failure Holds Us Back

Patrick’s story is not unique.

There are countless other examples of how people allow their fear of failure to determine their work opportunities and choices.

Fear of failure can immobilise you.

It can lead you to give up your pursuits before you’ve even started going after them.

If left unmanaged, the fear of failure can also strangle innovation, stifle professional development and growth, and prevent you from realizing your full potential.

It is not failure itself that holds you back; it is the fear of failure that paralyses you.

Brian Tracy

Why Are We So Afraid?

Understanding the source of our fears can be an effective first step toward liberating them.

Recognising?why?you feel afraid can lessen the power that fear has over you.

• We’re afraid of being embarrassed, judged, or rejected by others.?Sometimes, a fear of failure is rooted in anxieties about how others might react to our failures. You might wonder:?“What would my boss, coworkers, friends, or family think of me?”

• We feel ashamed when we fail.?Shame is another powerful emotion that can contribute to a fear of failure. Instead of feeling bad about a specific action, result, or behavior, failure may lead some people to feel bad about who they are as people. That can threaten their sense of self-worth.

• We believe we’re incapable and don’t want to shatter our dreams.?Imagine that you’ve always dreamed of opening your own business. You may experience a paralyzing fear of failure if you subconsciously believe you aren’t capable of succeeding. You might believe that if you pursue your own business and fail, then your lifelong dream will be irrevocably shattered.?

• We imagine the worst-case scenario.?On a similar note, those who fear failure may also tend to imagine the worst-case scenario. This is also known as catastrophic thinking. It happens when you ruminate on irrational and worst-case outcomes of failure—such as losing your job, going bankrupt, or losing the respect of your peers.

Ignoring or suppressing your fears isn’t going to make them go away. It’s better to acknowledge your fears—and identify their causes—to lessen their hold over you.

Reframe Your Thinking

First, to overcome your fear of failure, you must change how you perceive failure.

Stop the negative or catastrophic thinking and develop a new relationship with failure based on resilience, continuous improvement, and self-compassion.

You can start reframing your thinking by completing the following sorting activity about what failure is—and what it is not.?

Train your brain to position failure as a learning opportunity—and an inevitable step on your journey to long-term success and growth.

Failure is not final—nor is it abnormal.

All of us fail from time to time.

Failure doesn’t matter to your long-term success so much as how you react to and bounce back from it.

You can also reframe your thinking about failure with these tips:

Focus on Factors Within Your Control

The first tip is to focus on factors that are within your control.

For example, imagine that you’re afraid to receive negative reactions to a big presentation at work.?

While you can’t control how other people will react to your presentation, you can control how you prepare for the presentation.

So, you might research the audience, develop your talking points, and even practice your presentation with a friend or colleague.

You can often find peace in knowing that you’ve done everything in your power to ensure a positive outcome.

That way, even if you do fail, you’ll know that there was nothing you could have done differently.

You tried your best.

Examine Your Worst-Case Scenario

Another tip is to take a hard look at your worst-case scenario.

Ask yourself,?“What am I afraid will happen?” Or,?“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Examine your worst-case scenario with the following prompts in mind:

• What’s the likelihood that this scenario will actually happen? Challenge yourself to evaluate your fears realistically.
• In some cases, you may find that there are real risks involved in failure. So, ask yourself:?“What would I do if this happened?”?Then, come up with a plan for dealing with your worst-case scenario, should it become a reality.

Examining your worst-case scenario can either help you identify and dispel irrational fears—or develop an action plan for mitigating and managing risk.

Reflect on the Benefits of Past Failures

The third tip is also helpful for dispelling irrational fears or faulty assumptions.

It’s to reflect on the benefits of past failures.

You can consider your own past failures—or the past failures of others.

How was failure necessary?

What did failure teach you or others?

That leads to our next tip.

Prioritize Learning and Growth

The next tip is to incorporate learning and growth in your definition of success and conversations about failure.

For example, if you experience failure, ask yourself questions, such as:

• What can I learn from this situation?
• What progress have I made?
• How might this situation help me develop or grow?

Track your progress, and remember that success takes different forms.

For example, success can mean challenging yourself, stepping outside of your comfort zone, learning something new, or doing better than you did before.

Consider the Consequences of Inaction

Finally, the last tip we’ll cover is considering the consequences of inaction.

Instead of ruminating on what might happen if you fail, ask yourself what might happen if you don’t take action or if you settle for less.?

Be more concerned about unrealized potential, complacency, and regret than you are afraid of failure.

Instead of avoiding failure—avoid missed opportunities.

Take Action

Reframing your thinking about failure can help lessen your fears, and manage them better.

But there’s another effective strategy:

You can also take action despite your fears.

Even if you aren’t able to control your fear of failure, you can still control your actions in the face of fear.

In other words, do the thing that scares you anyway.

You don’t have to feel 100% confident about a project to do it.

You also don’t have to worry about what might happen if you take a professional risk.

You can take the risk and see what happens.

Sure, you might fail—but you also might prove yourself wrong.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Dale Carnegie

Taking action despite your fears is a great way to build confidence—lessen your fear of unknown outcomes—and even show yourself that you’re resilient and capable of bouncing back from failure when it happens.