YO MAMA

Now he is just sitting there, slumped in his chair, gazing into the distance, climbing down from the energy level of loudly ranting a minute ago. A CEO of an up and coming start-up just explained to him why he wasn't the ideal candidate for heading the HR position at the company: “You see, you are way too experienced, "seasoned". (Oh, how I loath this word! Let’s all agree, it is a universal euphemism for being old. It is offensive. Let’s not use it. Period.) Mostly millennials work here. You wouldn’t blend in. Clearly there is no need for your expertise here.”

I beg to differ.

Let me be frank with you: I am quite comfortable with no longer being invited to conferences or panel discussions where the topic is generation X,Y,Z, alpha, beta....

Not because I do not have an opinion about it – it is hardly ever the case- but I adamantly refuse to fall for the reasoning of Simon Sinek and such "generation gurus" (otherwise known: jacks of all trades).

They are the ones who talk about this generation as if they were a mysterious virus that had arrived from another planet. Alien species that are to be observed in a petri dish, under a microscope. Let’s observe:

Reaction to alcohol: perfect, obviously.

Reaction to given more space: they become hesitant.

Reaction to isolation: panic, sadness.

So, we conclude that they are sooooo special that they require special treatment, special environment in the workplace.

I do have two of these species at home and I have been observing them and their friends for a while now. Growing up they have become?aware of our values. They listened to our discourse, our opinions. They gave them some thought and decided to agree and follow them or challenge them. Just as we used to do it with our parents’ views. This is how generations work and live together and learn from each other.

So let me clarify some of the misconceptions about the millennial generation at the workplace:

The general consensus seems to be that millennials have particular quirks that need tending to by their the employer.

Millennials love home office. I do too! There is no better way to start your morning than wandering around in your PJs in an empty house. Sorting through your emails, while the washing machine is gently humming in the background. And when it is done you walk over there -still in your PJs- and put everything in the dryer. You are trying to come up with a good presentation strategy while collecting dozens of smelly socks from underneath the beds of millennials. Blessed be both their feet! Then you join a conf call and mute it while taking your post from the deliveryman. (At this point PJ is definitely not an option.) This is what a day in home office should look like. This is the reason why every generation loves it. Sitting at your desk all day, sitting at boring meetings wondering about the chores you need to be catching up on when you get home in the evening… what a difference!

Millennials love free fruit. I do too. Bring a basketful of them!

Millennials love flexible work hours. I commute, I get it.

Millennials love colourful, eco-friendly office with bean bags scattered around and high tech coffee machine filled with fair trade coffee beans. They want to save the planet. I have to admit, I sometimes struggle with clambering out of a bean bag in a dignified way, but I love sitting in one. I do not drink coffee -so all that fancy paraphernalia is completely lost on me. And while I am not willing to burn an incense at Greta’s altar, but I do collect my garbage selectively. I try my best.

Millennials want to finish work at five sharp because they have a life outside the office that is important to them. No shit, Sherlock! Who doesn’t?

Millennials are said to be arrogant, lacking humility. Some of them are like that but I wouldn't bring down a whole generation. I fully agree with Patty McCord (the famous and wonderful ex-HR head of Netflix) that every day people get up and go to work with the intention to do their best. Regardless their DOB. Millennials do not lack humility, rather fret like all of us did at the beginning of our careers. There is just so much stuff: trying to learn the ropes of the job, getting accepted, blending in, trying not to crash the IT system with a single push of a button.

And so we have arrived to the main difference between generations: the gap in quantity and quality of life experiences. Therefore most millennials have not yet mastered expectation management, self-representation, saying ‘no’, giving and getting feedback, learning who’s who at the office. (Mind you, some of us are still on the learning curve with these….)

One common issue is though, that they suck at face-to-face communication big time. They grew up communicating via text messages, doing their story telling on Snapchat and Instagram. While doing so, they have not always seen the face of the other party. They are much better at deciphering emojis while they tend to be lost at reading real-life facial expressions. It is hard for them to express their emotions as they often lack the vocabulary to articulate their needs without provoking a fist fight.

This may undermine company culture, hinder cooperation, the discovery of mistakes and the surfacing of brilliant ideas.

That is why they need a leader or manager (at this point it is tomato or tomatoe, bear with me) who gets it and them, and is able to provide support in their development process, paves the way for important stuff be said out loud, emotions be kept at bay, miscommunications be nipped in the bud.

When IT start-ups first turned up in Silicon Valley, VCs knew instinctively that they should not shower young geniuses with money because that spells disaster. They took on board expert opinion and put experienced seniors eg. Finance, HR into strategic positions.

So, while the young ones were running wild with ideas, creating the next best thing, there was always someone keeping them in check by being level headed. No wonder that only these companies could truly thrive in the long run. Being diverse in age brings about diversity of approach, thought process and mindset that is just as important of a glue of any corporate culture than hard core skills.

I never miss the chance to lash out the pathetic and ludicrous trend of creating fancy titles such as mood captain, happiness or vibe manager. These must have been invented with the intention not to scare millennials with the plain name of human resources. Maybe, just maybe they do not get scared so easily. Maybe they do need a person to help them navigate their work relations and communication. Maybe they would find it funny and would gladly help someone up from the effing beanbag.

So, I am putting you on the spot, dear start-up CEO - whom I don't know in person but I see that you are following me. I can only hope this article comes up in your feed and you recognise yourself. A word of advice: You are making a huge mistake!

Just a quick reminder: you learned everything from the previous generation. You learned how to hold your fork, how to floss, how to tie your shoelaces, how to say your name loud and clear, and that it is rude to interrupt someone. You were taught all this and so much more by someone older.

The very same person I was thinking of when writing this.

You guessed it: Yo mama.

?

?

?

?