Yes's and no's: from apprehensive to confident

I said another "no."

And right away, I could hear my L2 - the Autopilot State start playing an old disc:

Is that too many "no's"? Will they stop liking me?

I felt the apprehension rise. I often feel it in my arms, they get weak and my palms get cold.

I didn't want to hold on to this feeling, so I decided to update my train of thought.

So I told myself, before I answer, let me check:

"What do I want to experience?"

I want to be present when I meet up with my friends. I want to be present when I show up to work. I want to be present when I'm making breakfast for my kiddo. I'm tired today, I've had several 5 am mornings. I want to sleep early tonight, at least not sleep late.

So if I want to say "yes" to all of the above, I'd like to say "no" to going out tonight with my friends.

But I want them to know I love them. So I will let them know that.

So I shared my experience with my friend, I said no, I shared why, and I shared that I hoped to go out another time.

And I could feel myself relax into my body. I could feel my confidence rise because what I was saying "yes" to made sense to me.

I slept at a decent time, had a blast making breakfast, was present for some significant progress with clients, and am still in pleasant communication with my friends, all realities I associate with L1 - the Aligned State.

One of my friends even said: "I appreciate how you value your time, I'm taking a page from your book."

And that's when I realized, when I navigate to my alignment, I also create space for others in my life to do the same - and to date, that has been appreciated.

"Yes" and "no" are two sides of the same coin. When we say "yes" to others, even when we don't want to, we are inherently saying "no" to something else.

Gaining clarity on what you are saying "yes" to and acting in alignment with that, from one moment to the next, is key to navigating to your fulfillment.

Do you feel like there's a secret amount of "no's" you're allowed to say?

9 coaching

If you're a high-achiever, one of the habits you might have that leads to burnout is saying "yes" to so much more than you want to, without realizing the impact it has on the rest of your life. Sometimes you might say "yes" to avoid conflict, other times to make someone happy, and other times because you're not sure how to say "no."

By finding out what you are saying "yes" to, your creativity has space to flourish. And suddenly, it might be:

• No, but what about this time or date
• No, but what about a slightly smaller scope
• No, but I know someone else who might be able to help
• No, because this is my objective, what is yours, and how can we find a common ground?

Yes's are amazing, and no's have their room to.