Yes I know lips represent my vulva, I’m still going to wear red lippy – and you can’t stop me.

One of my nearest and dearest loves to remind me that female lips are representative of the external female reproductive organs and that I should really pick another colour than my blood red to save attracting the wrong kind of attention.

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Without a shadow of a doubt the conversation moves into a guise where the following is said. Your lippy is really distracting for me and you should change it.

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Here is my 3 long winded, although completely valid explanations of why “my body my choice” is a my standard response.

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1 – I am not a Baboon.

Whilst I am a Geordie lass and have been known to wear some rather short skirts in my time. I can quite safely say that no one is ever in any significant danger of me having too many sherberts baring my rear in public to demonstrate my fertility.

Thankfully human beings have evolved more complex notices of fertility and receptiveness to copulation that can be identified with ALL of ones clothing remaining firmly attached. The colour and shape of ones lips therefore become of interest to the other person only and no longer a beacon attracting sex. Whether they match the outfit, compliments ones face or makes one generally more appealing.

Thankfully I am aware of that and have a wardrobe that all matches a red lippy.

And if it doesn’t, then I’m still going to wear my red lippy anyways. I still think I look good.

I can almost hear your argument coming… but what if someone else misreads the signs and tries it on. Well honey, that is a completely different ball game, and keep reading to hear my response.

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2 – I support self representation

OK so we’re talking about red lippy and not wearing something considered generally offensive (or rather something in which the general public would be offended by).

The females (or assigned female at birth) have seen a huge emergence of wider acceptance in recent years and it is only those of an older generation who feel the need to keep us, AFAB’s, penned in to line. The younger generation today (people born from 1990 mostly) are far more accepting of other people regardless of what they wear – they are focused on what a person does, or doesn’t do.

My red lippy bares no bounds on my ability to be effective in any of my roles and support mechanisms to others. It may well make me feel more confident in myself and therefore allow me to believe in my capabilities …

There have been so many people sent from work for wearing the wrong clothes, the best one I saw was a women in a black turtle neck and knee length pencil skirt. Apparently what she was wearing was too distracting…

There is a marked difference between what a person believes is acceptable and what other people perceive to be acceptable. In my argument, if another person was wearing X, would it still be inappropriate? If the answer is no, as it inevitably will be, then it is appropriate for me to wear.

Special thanks to all of the Drag artists out there who have made PVC mainstream, that’s something else now that matches my red lippy!

There’s also a discussion point about freedom of choice here. The freedom to express ourself in the way that we chose without ridicule from another person. To wear black lippy because we want to and not because we’re auditioning for a KISS revival. Or simply to chose articles of clothing or decoration that we feel represents us in this moment in time.

For too long have people who have operated on the fringes acceptability been reigned in by the need to be normal and accepted by others. What if we focused on making ourselves happy rather than making others happy…

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Oh christ, now we’re talking mental health and before I jump down rabbit hole…

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3 – It matches my colouring

Who knew that being so pale would have it’s advantages?!

SAY WHAT?! Hooker red matches your colouring…

I spend so much of my time on video calls and I am so terribly pale that I would need to spend an age putting some slap on to make myself feel better about how I look.

Or… pop on a bit of red lippy and let a filter algorithm do its work and blend the colour around my face. Yes that is the art of laziness… I also receive the following benefits.

·???????When my 1yo comes home and sucks my face, he’s not sucking off foundation

·???????I don’t need to buy any make up or spend vast volumes of money on skin care to offset the damage caused by wearing make up or replacing the moisture that make-up removers remove

·???????It’s relatively easy to live a rather plastic free life

·???????People get to see a real me, including my kids, all the time

·???????I can spend my time doing stuff that actually important rather than an hour doing my face

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When it all boils down, the choice of someones lippy is no more than their choice of shoes, cologne, or watch. They are all things that any person can choose to wear to make them feel empowered and ready. No one ever intentionally and knowingly wears something that they feel is going to bring them down, or be made smaller or ridiculed for wearing it. Those feelings only come after some numpty offers their views on what theyre wearing – and if they are as kick a$$ as me, my body my choice. If you are offended, divert your own eyes my friend. I’m not asking you to look at me.

There is no one who can effectively tell you to change what you are wearing, unless it is something considered generally offensive. Example, wearing a Black Cat shirt in the Magpies home ground, and BTW you’d be lucky to make it out alive.

I can’t possibly say which side I would be on here… the antagonist visitor who accidently turned into the “home” ground … all I will say is “howay the lads”!

What colour lippy do you wear?

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