Yes, Even Communicators have Panic Attacks

"I have not failed. I have just found 10.000 ways that won't work" said T.A. Edison. All who work fail, and with time you realize it's not the failure itself that matters, but what you've learned from it (and why you've categorized it as such in the first place).

After some time of self-loathing, overthinking, and replaying the scenarios in the shower (don't lie, we all do it), there comes a time you can openly talk about what you consider your failures or embarrassing moments and sometimes even laugh at them. Here is one of mine, in the hope it will help someone struggling with panic attacks or general anxiety.

Having a panic attack in the middle of the presentation - done ?

My occupation is a corporate communicator. An integral part of it is holding presentations, and various workshops, making intros for the Board meeting, discussing tricky topics with the management, etc.

After years, it became my very comfortable routine, one which made me happy, energized, and engaged.

But on this particular day, something went wrong, in a non-poetic Murphy law kind-of- a-way. My audience was familiar, the topic was one of my favorites, and even the room was the one where I held so many presentations before. After about an hour of talking to a crowd of around 30 people, I felt this creeping sensation of fear. All of a sudden my thoughts were racing all over the place. I spotted an Emergency Exit sign like a kid spots cotton candy at a birthday party and that was the only thing on my mind until the end of this ominous event.

I managed to go through until I was done with the presentation, only to be left feeling like a complete wreck. Not having knowledge and this experience before made the situation much worse than it actually was.

So, what happened next?

After this event, I was on a full-blown, personal mission. My goal was to get to know my new "roommate", why it showed up in the first place, and how can we become friends ??. I knew it showed up for a good reason, and I was right.

What I've learned after tons of books with cringy covers, an uncountable number of TedX talks, and working with people who specialize in this field, is that feeling panicky is normal, even if your everyday job is talking to crowds. After a lot of stress accumulates (personal, professional), your body is sending physical signals you should slow down, make some changes and reprioritize what you do and in which intensity. If any of you reading this is going through this crappy sensations, please:

• do not think of it as a failure, but rather as a very valuable sign to respect your pace of working and living,
• get to know your fears, and never try to get rid of them. The faster you run, the faster it comes for you. Learn how to walk along with it, since fear is here for a very good reason. Befriend it, and serve it coffee every time it shows up ?,
• don't be shy to look for help. There are tons of ways you can cope, just find the one that works best for you, since we all don't have the same "fear foundation",
• and no, you don't have to switch careers, you are perfectly good at what you do, whatever it is.

Tackle the Taboos

Mental health is still taboo, and situations like these are rarely mentioned, especially in the working arena. I very much like to mention them and break the unnecessary silence and suffering of those who think this will damage them in any possible way. As communicators, I think it is our great responsibility to openly talk about everything - mental health in particular, not just in promotional pamphlets and having yoga classes, but by sharing our stories while stripping them of social condemnation.

Today, I am somehow glad all this happened because it made me listen to, and respect my self-state. Bonus point: today, when I see someone uncomfortable in public speaking, I have much more understanding. We have zero knowledge of what is going on in someone's life when they come to work in the morning. Let's never forget that!