The Yellow Shirt -a playback circle anecdote

The Playback Circle is a space very dear to my heart and perhaps that is why the threads of what is going to come up in the circle sometimes?start to form even before I enter that space.?Last Sunday’s magical moment astonished me so much that I decided to share it.

Getting ready to go for the circle was a hurried affair in the morning. Readying myself and then readying my daughter as she had a special birthday party to go to. A nice summer green was to be the colour of my dress - and I was looking forward to wearing that since it was a change?from my usual outfits for playback. Little did I know that my little "Miss Particular" decided that the crease of the bag for the birthday gift needed to be ironed out. To her disappointment the cloth bag got burnt and so did her excitement. "But Mamma, I didn't know that this cannot be ironed!" To her luck, I didn't have the time to fret and fume and left it at a polite, "Well, now you know! Let’s find another bag." And in the same rush, I began to iron my lovely green dress with the iron that was smothered with the green of the cloth bag on it - making the dress unwearable -- and yes the situation was getting a bit unbearable!?

?The clock was ticking and without thinking much, I picked up a yellow shirt as the next best option. This shirt has quite a history of why it has been unwearable on many occasions (like the buttons keep breaking and yellow is not one of my favourite?colours)?but today was going to be her day. I ironed it, wore it with the olive-green pants, and was almost ready to leave. Now, I am usually the "Miss not-so-particular" in these matters, but for some reason, I decided to change the pants and settled for black instead.

You may wonder why this detailed description of getting dressed to arrive at the playback circle is so important - stay with me on this..

?As an exercise to get the participants into their bodies, I asked them to paint the empty space around them, with different colours, using different parts of the body. (do try it for yourself, it's lovely!) In the end, everyone was invited to rest and soak in the experience. When we opened the space for listening - and

even before I could finish the sentence, someone was fully ready and began.?

?She shared that she lost her mother 3 years ago. Today, she took this opportunity to paint her mother and her memories, with her eyes closed. She chose yellow as the colour for her mother, her symbol of hope, her sunshine, and wanting her to be happy where she is. She enjoyed painting her and being with her, even if in her imagination. And then, suddenly everything in her picture seemed to turn black. All the colours vanished except?for the?Bindi. This made her very anxious. But when she lay down and rested, to her relief, the colours all came back and she could visualise her mother, just as she wanted. There was a pause and then she said, "It's been three years and I still have not grieved my mother's going fully. I am still in denial."?She said that she even tried therapy and it is too expensive and it didn't?quite work - this was her moment to talk about it a little... she kept speaking in?between pauses.

?We listened. While it was not part of the session design at this point, I responded to my inner nudge and asked her if she would like her sharing to be played back for her.?Trust me, at that moment, when I offered to play back her story, I had forgotten about the colours. Me and my colleague went to the stage and a participant helped with the music. As we took our initial position of forming a relationship - in my mind I was embodying?her, the Teller of the story - and then in a fraction of a second I got aware of my yellow shirt and said to myself, of course I am the mother! Ha! A part of me knew this even while I was getting ready in the morning - I had to be the?mother today! It was my opportunity to serve her story.?

Suddenly the yellow in the room stood out from all around. My shirt, the walls, the door, the cloth in the props, dancing with us to pay tribute to her mother and bid her goodbye. Her?mother left after speaking to her daughter and left the yellow for her - while watching from a distance.

?I could see the Teller welling up with emotions while watching the enactment. I could feel the other participants in resonance with her and a part of their grief too. She thanked us for a beautiful enactment. I thanked her for enlivening the space with her sharing and thanked my yellow shirt for showing up today.

?Perhaps there is no connection between any of what I said - perhaps it's my ever-eager mind that enjoys finding magic everywhere - Perhaps someone reading this may say - so, what is the big deal and perhaps there isn't. But I like to believe in magic and to be amazed at this master choreography of events that take place - the synchronicities of life! I feel there is much more to unravel and marvel at if we step back and watch this orchestra at play.

?Of course, the enactment would have happened even with a purple shirt. But to me, the presence of the yellow and black in this way, made me feel that there is someone else watching over us,?embracing us - that this circle?was attended by some members from another plane too. Maybe her mother was there too?

?Anyways, it was a special day today in many ways and I wanted to share that with you. Grateful for the circle, for those who showed up and co-held the space with respect and dignity allowing everyone to Be and dive deeper into their own Me.

#Spontaneity is truly what brings us alive, isn’t it?

?If this experience is any way of getting ready for the 3-day intensive that I am conducting in June - well then, I am opening my arms real wide for it!?

And if you wish to gift yourself a space to connect with your spontaneous, creative self, to listen deeper to your own self and practise listening to others- through movement, art and expression - do join us in June. Please do not hesitate to DM me for details or a conversation.?The workshop is designed for non-actors. Along with learning the skills of PT, performing a show, it is an immersive process for your self-discovery.

?An Introduction to Playback Theatre. a 3-day intensive

Dates: 23,24,25 June?

In Alibaug, Maharashtra.?

The next Playback Circle: July 23, Sunday, 10 am. Andheri East, Maharashtra.

?And, what has been your #yellowshirt moment in the recent past??