Yelling and Anger is the language of the afraid

The morning sun cast a golden glow on the rugged peaks of the Dolomites as we began our ascent, my hiking partner and I, prepared for the 25 km journey along the Alpinisteig in the Sesto / Sexton area of the Dolomites. The air was crisp, filled with the scent of pine and adventure. As we climbed higher, the valley below turned into a patchwork of greens and browns, wildflowers blossoming and a serene landscape that belied the dangers lurking in its heights.

We were making good progress when we spotted a group of five ahead of us, struggling up the steep, shale-covered centre of the valley. They were clearly off track. The track was on the right with the steel fixtures on the rock face. Their position in the shaley valley was risking both their safety and that of others below. My partner called out to the leaders of their party, warning them of the danger. The response was swift and aggressive.

“We just missed the track! We didn’t see it!” one of the leaders yelled back defensively. As my partner persisted, trying to make them understand the risks, their frustration boiled over into anger.

“Get out of our fucking face! Get away from us! We don’t want to see you!” Repeatedly.? Hands up, faces twisted in anger, they were a wall of hostility. It was a stark contrast to the tranquil morning we had been enjoying.

Among them, just 10 metres away from the leaders who were focussed on taking photographs, was a distressed young woman in their party, who caught our attention, her gutteral cries and shouts of fear telling us of her perceived and perhaps real danger. My partner, ever calm, reached out with kindness. “Do you need help?” she called, her voice steady.

The others continued their tirade, trying to shut us down. My climbing partner calmly told them she was talking to the distressed and not to them. The young woman’s companion, despite the chaos around them, managed to call out a shaky, “We’ll be okay, thank you.”

The encounter left us shaken. The aggression and defensiveness were unsettling, a reminder of how fear can morph into anger and how quickly situations can escalate. This was a classic example of how the brain governs fear and anxiety and how it orchestrates adaptive defensive behaviours.

As we continued our hike, the serenity of the mountains felt tainted by the memory of their shouting. “That was intense,” I said, breaking the silence that had settled between us.

My partner nodded, clearly and understandably a little disturbed by their tirade . “Fear does strange things to people,” I said. “I think they were scared and felt guilty for leading their party members astray. Their response was so automatic, quick, lacked consideration for their fearful teammate. They went into self protective mode, individualistic thinking". I wondered to myself what these two did for work, did they lead a team, how would this defensiveness show up in the workplace? I felt compassion for them. I wondered about their ability to cope successfully with other life challenges. Being so reactive is a terribly stressful way to live and causes so much damage to self and others

I admired my hiking partners calmness, her ability to remain composed in the face of hostility. To not shy away from the confrontation but to offer help where it was potentially needed. It was a lesson in grace under pressure, and I was grateful for her presence. Also for her care for other climbers. We pressed on, the incident a stark reminder of the unpredictability of the mountains—and of human nature.

As we traversed the via ferrata, 200 meters above the valley floor, the adrenaline of the climb helped to push the morning’s events to the back of our minds. We focused on the present, the breathtaking views, and the camaraderie of a shared adventure. By the time we reached the summit, the earlier encounter felt like a distant memory, overshadowed by the majesty of the Dolomites.

But the lesson remained: in the mountains, as in life, the true test of character comes not in moments of calm, but in how we handle adversity and how we regulate our emotions in times of danger and crisis. And in those moments, I realised, I couldn’t have asked for a better companion than the one by my side. Sharing a state of calm and objectivity and not allowing our emotions to dominate our behaviours is crucial in all aspects of life.

For those reading this and want to know more about the biology of fear and anxiety related behaviours I direct you to this article.

Steimer, T. (2002). The biology of fear- and anxiety-related behaviors. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 4(3), 231–249. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2002.4.3/tsteimer