Years Away from Mom for the Holidays...
It has been many, many, many years, since I spent Christmas with my mother, who happens to live in a country far away from where I live in Colorado. So long that I don't even want to put a number to the "number of years" when I last spent Christmas with her. I thought I could make it this year (2022) but alas another year is passing by and I will not make it to see her this year also. Of course it's not easy, as some of you already know, where you have to spend holidays alone from those closest to you...
I know I am not alone... Some of you may have not spent Christmas with a loved one for 15+, 20+, 50+ 60= years, some of you might have lost hope of ever seeing a loved one ever again during Christmas time. and for some of you, you don;t care if you see that person during the holidays ever again... All these buried feelings tend to surface during the holidays...
Does the pain every really go away? I don't think so, we simply get used to it. We start new traditions, release the old photos, don't pick the ornaments that remind us of them, and we come up with creative ways to numb that pain. So I say, it is alright to actually face it this year so that we stop numbing it. To say, it is alright, even though I will not have the opportunity to share that person with me this christmas (for the 'teenth time), we have many things to be grateful for. So I say it is alright to feel that pain and know that there are others who are in this same boat, and that's alright.
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As you process that pain, take that step to hold on to hope- if hope is at all possible. Or have you given up on hope? Have hope that next year things can get better. If all hope is gone, then it is time to accept it and have peace with it. Is it time to ask if we can do something completely different to change the situation? After all, when we become too comfortable with the same old problem, is when we stop looking for new solutions.
Wishing you all a stress free peace filled holiday season... Preethi Fernando
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