The Year of Woman is Now!

March 8 is International Woman’s Day, and the entire month of March is being celebrated as Women’s History Month.?

I thought it appropriate to dedicate this CitySpeak article with an essay, adapted from a chapter in a book I co-authored for women in business. I wrote to recognize the important role women have played in my career and my life.

This year, it’s not just a day or a month we should use to recognize the time of woman is now.?

No, I have come to believe that the year of woman, indeed the century of woman, is now.?

In fact, I believe we have always lived in the time of the woman. I just think that both men and women alike are finally waking up to that fact, so we are finally recognizing it.

What do I mean?

I am a Mexican American male, born in 1963 and raised in Southern California, in a close, loving, and spiritually minded family.?

I am a product of my environment and my experiences.?

This means that I am (and I will continue to be) a “work in progress” until the day I expire.?

Certainly, 40 years ago, I lacked the experience to fully appreciate the value of women in our world.?

I don’t think back then I would have had the wisdom to fairly and accurately write about how the time of woman is now.?

While I do believe that men and women are endowed with unique qualities, strengths, and abilities that are either masculine or feminine, never would I argue that a woman’s place is in the home with her children, tending the domestic fires of the hearth.?

The Bible has taught me, that men and women are equal in their spiritual standing before God.?

This understanding creates more cooperative partnerships and marriages that will result in stronger families and communities which are the infrastructure of our society.

As a Mexican American man, growing up in Southern California, there were some (perhaps many) in my culture that carried around and perpetuated a lot of sexist, twisted logic with it.?

Of course, there is beautiful, colorful, and spicy food, music, people, family and love that I would never trade with any culture.?

But we’ve all got our faults, and machismo has long been a big burden for both men and women in my culture that we have had to bear.?

So, when I was younger, of course I laughed at the guys’ “barefoot and pregnant” jokes, along with the “women’s place is in the kitchen” ribs.?

We laughed as though we were joking, but we were kind of serious, too.

At 60 years of age, this means I am more than half a century old!?

During these years, I have come to learn that if we don’t continue to grow in life, in all ways possible, we die.?

Well, I’m not ready to die.?

And I have grown incredibly in my understanding of the issues facing women, both in the home and in the workplace.?

The Bible has also helped me grow in my appreciation for women. I began to read the Bible for myself, becoming a self-taught practitioner of the Word of God, and I learned for myself just how much love God has for women.?

I also credit this evolution to my force-to-be-reckoned-with wife of 36 years, and our equally headstrong and independent daughters.?

But I know with absolute certainty that it all started with my mother.

MY MOTHER SHAPED ME

It’s funny. I never once thought of my mother as less-than. She was, and still is, the strongest woman I know.?

It just took me growing up into adulthood and having my own life experiences to see the connection between how I saw my mother and how I see that vague concept of “all women.”

You see, my mother was in an abusive marriage almost since I was born, and she struggled to do the right thing with two children, me and my sister, who is one year younger than me.?

Those who have never suffered from abuse may think it is simply a matter of “leave him.”?But the ties that bind are strong and the stakes are high.?

My mother was devoutly religious, young, inexperienced, penniless without my father, and ashamed of having found herself in this situation.?

In spite of all that, she still picked up and finally left her husband for good when I was five, although I really think it was her husband that did the leaving.

My mother’s only regret, she tells me, is that she did not have the opportunity to continue her education, “para no andar rodando”, which loosely translated means, “to not be tumbling everywhere”.?

She also tells me all the time, “John, if I only had your education…” It was tough for Mexican American males trying to make it in California in the 1960’s; just think how hard it was for Mexican American females like my mother.?

In the 1960’s, few, if any, Mexican American males, let alone women, had any education beyond junior high school, let alone college. Yes, life was very hard for divorced women in the 1960’s, especially Mexican American women like my mother.

Yet throughout my entire life, and to this day, my mother has been a great source of wisdom in my life, teaching me empathy, enthusiasm, energy, optimism, drive, ambition, and love, and hope, always reminding me that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to do.?

I am who I am largely because of my mother.

Fortunately for me, she found love and refuge in another man, my stepfather, and the only real father I have ever known.?

It is only because my mother had the strength to leave, that she had the courage to put herself, and her children, in the care of a new man.?

My stepdad taught me self-sacrifice, trust, endurance, and a strong work ethic. He became the role model for me for what a man should be, and how a man should protect his wife “until death do us part”. And my dad stayed with my mom for 52 years until his death last year.?

But honestly, he could never have given me any of that if it hadn’t been for my mother.

IT’S EVOLUTION, BABY

Over time, I have come to appreciate the unique and magnificent role women play in our families and our society (though my wife will tell you I still have a long way to go).

And I don’t mean just carrying our children in their womb for nine months, nursing, cooking, and making our cold houses warm homes.?

No. I also mean the vital role women play in managing our institutions, safeguarding our democracy, and making our communities safer places to live.

From family to positions of leadership in business and government, women have demonstrated they can accomplish any goal they are compelled to pursue.?

Truly, women are limited only by the personal goals and ambitions they dare to allow themselves to dream.?

Yes, it is true that I believe that someone should be home taking care of the children. It does take a village, after all!?

But I don’t think that “someone” necessarily has to be the woman.?

There are many fully capable, loving, nurturing fathers happy to stay home with their children while their wives are out preparing to fly to the moon or run a country.

This is where my culture and beliefs have evolved for me: while I do believe deeply that no personal ambitions, can come before our children, our spouse, or our God, I believe that goes both ways.?

The following saying makes my point:

“A truly rich man [or woman] is one whose children run into his [or her] arms even when his hands are empty.”

~Ziad K. Abdelnour

I, as a man, was never willing to sacrifice my marriage or my children or my relationship with God, for any personal pursuit, regardless of the compelling reasons urging me to keep climbing, and I know many women who feel the same, entrepreneurs and stay at home moms alike.

With that in mind, men and women should partner with people who share their core values to succeed in business and government.?

And ample evidence shows that when we leave women out of our boardrooms and executive offices, in an effort to keep them in the kitchen, both the boardrooms, executive offices, and the kitchen suffer.?

Women make up more than 50% of the population, and the key elements that the vast majority can see women bringing to our families – nurturing, compassion, multi-tasking, open minds, diplomacy, and so much more – are the same elements essential to thriving and successful businesses and government organizations.?

I for one could not possibly have the successful life, and my municipal consulting business I run today, were it not for my mother, and the many women who contributed to my development and who I am today.?

On this International Women’s Day in 2023, I recognize my mother (love you mom!) and all the women who make our world a better place!

You can read or listen to the complete essay as originally written on my website:??https://www.munitemps.com/2019/03/12/year-of-woman-is-now/

John Herrera, CPA

MuniTemps

CitySpeak the Podcast Blog