The Year We Were Forced To Get To The Point.

2020 will be known as the year that changed it all. If you actually begin to look back at how different everything was 12 months ago compared to now it almost breaks your brain. The best way you can think about it is to read a line from a recent article discussing Lockdown in the UK:

"Downing Street has not ruled out tier two drinkers being able to order a Scotch egg, but would not set out the difference between a snack and a meal." (Source BBC) 

Imagine trying to explain the context of that sentence to your own self 12 months ago.

I wanted to write this piece to discuss something that I feel hasn't been mentioned or spoken about much. Lockdown has hindered the way we build new relationships. How do we connect with people we don't know.

There are a multitude of different relationships we all have within our lives; colleagues, family, friends, etc. Most of these will be based on a common mutual point of interest which is the foundation of that relationship. I want to discuss how in 2020 we go about building brand new relationships with people we do not know at all where there isn’t a defined anchor point.

The most joyous part of my working life has been meeting some inspirational people, some of whom I'm lucky enough to call friends. When I was piecing this article together I began thinking of how I actually met a number of my friends, especially those that I have come across since moving to London again 2 years ago. I then began to realise how many of them were 'Happy Accidents' where I happened to chat with someone in a coffee queue or we randomly sat next to each other at an event. The conversation started organically and was about anything other than what we do professionally. We all took it for granted, but we had the ability to actually chat with people without the time/attention pressure of understanding if and where the value exchange was.

When lockdown hit and all physical interactions stopped it seemed as if social media and original content (Like this piece) were our outlets and the way we connected and met new people. We all continue to express our personalities and thoughts through social media hoping it resonates or brings value to a recipient. You begin to find what works for you and if you’re using places like Linkedin to engage with content or voice your opinion, that’s for you to decide.  

Something is massively wrong though that needs to be addressed and openly discussed, we’re forced to get straight to the point. Just think about it or even look through some of your most recent message interactions on Linkedin with someone you have never met before and other than making an educated guess have no idea if there could be mutual interest, of those you began an interaction with I bet they followed a similar guide to this:

• "Hey X"
• They wished you well
• They mentioned something about you or the organisation you represent
• They told you what they do
• And finally, they told you why they got in touch.

I have tried myself a number of times to come up with different formats to commence a brand new conversation but always find myself coming back to something as above. It makes obvious sense though right, we all lead busy lives and ultimately have to pick and choose what we provide attention to and what we don’t have the capacity for. 

“How are you?” There are literally memes created about this and there is no good way to answer anymore.

If you have had any other structures that you actually opened and began a dialogue with someone you have never met then please comment below. There has been a lot of discussion about how to connect with colleagues who have joined in lockdown and you have never physically met, but you do have the mutual topic of the business they have just joined to anchor the conversation on. 

My point here is that we're experiencing the most isolated and impersonal year of our lives, where everything has changed and levels of uncertainty are at an all-time high in so many different ways. We have to figure out how we can connect and begin valuable relationships with people outside of warm introductions and friends of friends. I consider myself really lucky that I cut my teeth in a professional environment where it was encouraged to go out and begin conversations and see where synergies lie. I genuinely feel sorry for anyone starting their career trying to build out a network where they're having to give a full breakdown of their reasoning for getting in touch in the hope the other person responds in a similar optimistic mood to explore.

My final thought is that I have a big worry that we will all slowly become predictably functional workers. We all learn and grow through a number of different life experiences and it seems as we have all got used to remote working life we’re beginning to forget what it means to be curious.