This is the year to start with 'what', not 'why'

Every year, dictionaries pick a word of the year to remind us they’re still relevant. But when I saw 2024’s word was "brain rot," it felt less like good PR and more like a eulogy.

My first thought was, “Is this a meme?” Turns out, no, it’s an actual sign of the times.

I get it though. It does feel like?we've collectively forgotten how to think.

Remember the old-school 5 W's? Who, What, When, Where, and Why? They were more than a framework, they were a promise. If you asked all five questions, then boom, you could make sense of anything.

I guess at some point, the questions got harder or maybe we stopped liking the answers we got. Because we're in a pick-and-choose world now, and everybody’s got their favorites.

Take ‘why,’ for instance. Everyone is obsessed with it. You can’t throw a rock without hitting a TED talk about ‘why.’ Executive retreats, mission statements, life coaches, you name it, it’s all about ‘why’. It's intellectual foreplay, where we just go on and on?about our passion until we feel like gurus.?

But ‘what’? Nobody's out here writing bestsellers about 'what.'

‘What’ is the killjoy of the group, the one that refuses to dance in the abstract. I’ve spoken at a zillion events and I can tell you, the minute I respond to ‘How do I do this?” with “What have you tried?” it’s like the vibes instantly shift and everyone gets a little uncomfortable.

‘What’ is the unglamorous, hard-working part of any process, but sometimes we get too busy pretending that intention alone is enough so we skip it.

Skipping it is what has so many of us running hard in the wrong direction. We spend hours researching how to build the perfect budget without ever asking what the purpose of income even is. We download flashy apps, watch YouTube tutorials, but never stop to go, “Wait, what am I trying to achieve here?”

We're assembling a toolbox before we even know what we’re building because we live in a world obsessed with doing, and not at all with understanding.

Our modern attention spans are trained for speed, not depth, so we all run around looking for quick fixes for problems we haven’t even named.

So maybe the problem isn’t that we’ve forgotten the 5 W’s. It’s that we think we can get by without the one that matters most.

This brings me to this week, where I caught myself uttering "What the ____?" way more than usual.

These are undeniably unpredictable times. It feels like a giant hand decided to reshuffle the cards, and now the suits are meaningless.

But if there’s anything these last few years have taught me, it’s that the real risk isn’t the chaos itself, it's rushing to find answers when we’re not clear on the questions we need to be asking.

We all get caught up in the ‘how.’ How do I get promoted? How do I save more? But that's like asking for directions to a city you haven’t picked. The 'how' is useless without the 'what.'

‘Why’ is the big vision. Your North Star that stays the same for years. ‘What’ is more like a GPS. It has to change as you change, as the world changes. It's a moving target, and you need to be ready for that.

‘What’ keeps you grounded. Without it, you’re at the mercy of whatever random thing pops up on your feed. You become a pinball in the machine of sensationalism.

The only way to set boundaries, to decide what risks are worth taking, is to go back to fundamental questions that start with ‘What.’

Start with what is it? What exactly are you trying to figure out? No no sugar-coating. Just name it, plain and simple.

Next, what hurts the most? Get honest about what's really bothering you. Your pain is a teacher. It’s a lousy teacher, sure, but still. Pay attention.

Then, take a hard look at your past attempts. What have I tried? Were those "hows" actually in service of your true "whats"? Or were you just chasing someone else's idea of success?

What am I actually trying to fix? Think about whether you’re addressing the root cause or just the symptoms? Are you solving for peace of mind? A quick win? Long-term security? Be specific.

And finally, ask yourself what's missing? Is it more information? or something deeper, like a solid understanding of what motivates you? Identify the gap, because that's where the real progress can be made.

Whether we’re talking about your money, your career, or your life, coming back to 'what' again and again is the real work. It’s how you make choices that fit, and remind your brain that it’s the lead actor, not the supporting one.

So, keep asking. Even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy. That feeling of your brain scrambling for an answer? That’s called thinking. And if it makes you squirm a little, that’s a good thing. That means you’re on the right track.

The cure to brain rot isn’t having all the answers, it’s asking the questions that lead to better ones.

This week's podcast episode is about how to spot a scam and if you're looking for a time to revisit the role 'what' plays in your life, it's now.

We've all experienced the subtle unease of a pitch that just doesn’t feel right, but in an era where the line between marketing and deceit is dangerously thin, it’s important to stay aware so you don’t get hoodwinked and bamboozled.

Listen to episode 197 now or watch it on YouTube below