A Year of Loss, Growth, and Rediscovery

If you had asked me a little over a year ago who I was, I probably would’ve responded with my job title. Work was such a defining part of my identity that when I left my job in November 2023, it felt like I had lost a piece of myself.

What followed was a period of deep self-exploration, unexpected lessons, and some of the most challenging moments of my life.

In just a few years, I had achieved a major milestone and finally had the title and responsibility that I thought I always wanted. But as I sit here today, stepping into a new chapter, I realize I am so much more than a job title. Basically, this:

The Unraveling (And The Panic That Followed)

The first thing I did after leaving my job?

Panic.

Like, full-on, refreshing-job-boards-every-five-minutes panic. I became obsessed with the job search, sitting for hours applying to anything and everything. It was a frantic attempt to reattach my identity to something tangible.

Then, something unexpected happened. While researching ADHD for my son, I realized I had been struggling with many of the same symptoms my entire life—hyper-focusing, difficulty switching tasks, and an all-or-nothing work style. My job search became a case study in exactly that. So, using my digital strategy mindset, I started tracking my results. What I found was eye-opening: spending 8-10 hours a day job searching wasn’t any more effective than spending four focused hours.

Around the same time, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and started taking medication to manage my symptoms.

For the first time, I had clarity around why my brain worked the way it did. The combination of structure, self-awareness, and proper treatment made a huge difference.

I was better prepared for interviews, more present with my family, and—well—happier. But still unemployed.

The Simple Things That Changed Everything

Once I stopped obsessing over the job hunt, I started to truly see what I had been missing. Simple things—walking the dog, finishing home projects, and most importantly, being present with my family—became priorities instead of afterthoughts. Coaching my sons in baseball brought me a joy I hadn’t anticipated, and, after much encouragement from my wife, I finally took a step I had long avoided: therapy.

Therapy didn’t just help me understand my behaviors—it helped me understand myself.

Learning why I think and act the way I do, combined with my ADHD diagnosis and treatment, gave me a level of clarity I had never experienced before. My wife was the catalyst for this shift, pushing me to prioritize my well-being in ways I never had. ?? These weren’t just “extras” in my life—I had simply been placing them in the wrong order. In reality, these moments were the foundation of who I was becoming.

A Year of Loss—and Perspective ??

As I was beginning to feel grounded in my rediscovery, life had other plans, throwing some of its hardest lessons my way. On October 21, 2024, I started my new job at Atlassian as a Talent Brand Consultant—a role that felt like it was written for me.

Just two weeks later, on November 4, my mom passed away after a 10-year battle with Multiple Myeloma. Then, two months later, my brother passed away unexpectedly after a lifetime of struggles with addiction, health complications and, ultimately, despair.

I was now just a few months into a new job and had lost the last of my immediate family. Not what I expected and not what I knew how to navigate.

Being a caretaker for my mom and brother was a significant part of my identity, and their passing has reshaped how I carry that role forward. But instead of allowing loss to define me, I've come to let it inform and shape me. The experience of loss has given me a deeper understanding of how unseen struggles shape people’s lives.

It has reinforced the importance of

• empathy
• patience
• presence

in everything I do. I don’t carry their absence as a weight—I carry it as a reminder to appreciate the people and moments that matter. ??

Moving Forward With Intention ??♂?

This past year stripped away a lot, but it also built me back up in ways I never expected. I’m no longer just a job title—

• I’m a coach ?
• a husband ??
• a father ??????
• a dog-walker ?? (though, not as often as I should be)
• I’m still in therapy ??
• Still working through everything??
• Figuring out who I am in this next chapter ??

I’ve also somehow started using WAY more emojis than I ever did before and am genuinely ok with that ?? ??

Atlassian has given me space to grieve and grow, and for that, I am deeply grateful. ???? I’m excited about the opportunity to do meaningful, groundbreaking work, but I also know that work is just one piece of who I am, shaped by everything I’ve been through.

• I’m still going to be coaching my kids in Little League.
• I’m still going to take time for my family.
• I'm still going to make time for myself.

Most importantly, I’m bringing this new, fuller version of myself to everything I do. I’m leading a highly visible project at work, coming off the high of meeting my new teammates in person, and feeling more support in my work and life than ever before.

If the past 15 months has taught me anything, it’s that identity isn’t something you lose or find—it’s something you build. And I’m building mine with more intention, clarity, and emojis than ever before. ???