A year of lockdown and peer spaces

I thought I'd go with that title, although the Peer Space as 'Exec Peer Spaces' pre-dates 2020 as a dinner group (and occasionally other events) which I ran in Sofia from Summer 2018 to the end of 2019, and was considering ramping up as we came into 2020.

That all came about, at its simplest, as a way to connect business people, in a relatively light but meaningful way, who are maybe not in their home country or city (of origin), and actually to connect those people to anyone who is in their home country or city that may want to hang with them.

These people - in their home country but open to 'hanging' with people who are not in their home country - are pretty important if you are outside yours, in fact as are those that are this way inclined when you return to your own home country after some time, in my experience.

Which brings me to the question. What do you do when your life and work routinely involves or requires international travel, and a global pandemic hits, largely stopping all international travel?

In my case I started running an online equivalent of the dinner groups - the Peer Space, and from the start connecting people in different geographical locations, because my work was about that. It's evolved a fair bit into a number of different experimental virtual gathering spaces, at least one of which still runs every week.

So, just to get this out the way, if you follow the Peer Space here - https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/the-peer-space you'll see the blend of 'city connecting' mixer / matchmaking / speed-networking events focused on developing international trading opportunities between people attending, which I run on alternate Wednesdays, the next being on this coming one (24th) for 60 mins at 1700 (UK), which you are welcome to attend if in UK, US or even beyond - https://www.dhirubhai.net/events/cityconnect18-bulgaria-uk-uscit6777579816574177280/ - and on the alternate Mondays I now run an open mixer in a number of formats, the next being on the 29th March for 60 mins at 1600 (UK) - it's best to follow the page for the latest on these.

As a historical fact, in a nutshell, the first Peer Space pilot nearly year ago, was to keep and develop a UK-Bulgarian connection between people, and over 12 weeks around 10 of us (actually 50/50 British/Bulgarian) met, mingled and got better acquainted and tried to help each other out; then a Summer 2020 exec peer pilot followed; before what I called Peer Space 1 in the Autumn, which morphed into what has become the Bulgarian Tech Trading Partnership - BULTRA. In parallel, since September what's become a "flagship" Peer Space event - 'City Connect' runs for the 18th time this week - so it's kind of 'coming of age'. It connects mostly 'tech execs' in the Bulgarian capital with connectors and possible collaborators in UK and US cities, linking up with each other, developing dialogues which may lead on to collaboration opportunities.

There are some bigger plans for the Peer Space that will be outlined at 1600 (UK) on Monday 22nd March. If you want to hear more about that, contribute to the approach we take, or get more involved with the plans, reach out to me at [email protected].

I am sure we have held a virtual Peer Space event every week since last April anyway, sometimes a couple of events per week, so with 50+ events held what can I say about them all? First, I am aware that people will come and go depending on their needs, interest in or appetite for them at any given time. Most have been attended, like the dinners, by 5 to 15 people, though with some recent City Connects its been up to nearer 20. Because with the latter we focus on quick sharing's, matchmaking and quick 1 to 1's this number in attendance (without intelligent supporting tech, and from a facilitation perspective) is plenty. More resources would increase the chances of people meeting just the right kind of people they hope or need to meet to build their businesses, and this could come in time.

Through last Summer there was something of a split in interest between those wanting to 'simply connect online' to catchup, learn, support each other and those 'looking to do business', and this largely explains the 'open peer space mixers / BULTRA + city connect' split that followed. Certainly I have felt better connected as a result of putting them all on, than I might have otherwise been, and I have met alot of new people too, which has been great. I can even say the kick - the high - that I get from hosting them is comparable to the one I used to get hosting dinners, or when I've played with the band I'm in. That whole 'bringing people together' thing.

So the Peer Space goes on.

I wanted to treat this article as a reflection on the last year too, actually as a 'sharing' on my part. A 'sharing' to me is what you'd have in a 'one way traffic' kind of space, something we have certainly used in peer spaces and I've done alot of elsewhere, with other kinds of peers. So in this one I will say something about things I've noticed, some highs, lows and feelings, considering the last year as a whole.

So here's my 'sharing' on the last 12 months...

"A big thing I've noticed for me was well articulated in a piece I read recently that someone else wrote, about this sense of an eternal, exhausting groundhog day, this last year, of looking at work screens in the day, evolving into more wind-down screens in the evenings, and somehow that being so exhausting over such a long period, that it leaves you with little energy to want to do much else, like call a friend or relative. I've noticed that it's been mentally exhausting to be so immobile and so apart from people physically, too.

I've noticed that like Brexit it has really divided people, there are those that seem truly terrified and those that are really dismissive of it all, and now with the vaccines rolling out there's this divide of people thinking 'lets just stay locked down and get this over with properly' and those that perhaps 'don't believe it and/or can't stand it any more, and so break rules regardless of consequences'. And at the same time, logically, it seems clear that if governments won't accept high levels of cases or deaths, not enough people vaccinate, and the thing doesn't die out on its own, how would or could it ever end??

I noticed that I feel 'a bit different', I feel a bit of a 'malaise'. It felt weird going out for a beer with friends for the first time early last Summer, after 3 months in relative solitary isolation - felt like coming out of hibernation or a long sleep, and it's felt similarly weird having a second dose of all that since November (in Bulgaria where I've mostly been living), more familiar than the shock of the first time, but somehow harder to go through it all again.

Highs have included moments with loved ones, a few musical moments with my daughters, one time at home and when we managed to get back into the studio a few times last Summer; a week last Summer that I managed to go with one of them to the beach and the mountains; a few days when they stayed with me at Christmas; some big cycling days I've done; and a few drinks nights out with friends that we managed to organise in the Summer and Autumn. Then there's the high of the Peer Spaces :), and other such spaces others have created that I've been part of, several in fact.

Lows for me have not only been about the 'extreme solitary confinement' of it all but as much as anything the sense I certainly have of 'global and personal empathy', that alot of people are suffering, have suffered. My dad was worryingly unwell right at the beginning of it all, and it would have been a big call to try to travel across Europe to be near him and my mum at that time. Then he was poorly again in the Autumn, before both he and my mum got Covid itself. They both survived, but dad is quite frail. Sadly we lost someone pretty close too, someone I considered a friend, several years younger than me, who I had worked with alot in 2018-19. Someone I much respected and admired. His funeral in December was the lowest day of last year.

Finally, and in reflecting on how I've felt, I dug up this chart of 6 of the main emotions - 'Happy, Excited and Tender' in the upper half / 'Sad, Angry and Scared' in the lower, to guide my observations:

Clearly the top half I'd say seem more positive and those in the bottom pretty negative - although feeling any one of them is fine of course too. It would be difficult to argue, like for many I suppose, anything other than that I have felt more of the lower 3 emotions in the last year than in the preceding one.

Sadness at 'all of it', the general sense of grief, and some deep, personal moments of sadness.

Anger too for sure, mainly at the collective way we have been let down by any number of national, international, global institutions that could be considered 'to blame', perhaps also because of their apparent lack of visible empathy or sympathy. I don't think governments do that stuff well - the soft, touchy feely stuff we could probably all do with, or would appreciate. An apology even, a collective one, or lots of repeated apologies, or some sense of how they'll make up for it all.

And Fear, beyond any doubt, of Covid itself - wondering how bad it would get at the start, of all the many consequences - macro-economic, micro-financial, of death and the unpredictable side effects, and the impact on all our collective and individual mental health.

There have been happy moments too, and I'm excited about the future, happier times that are surely coming. We'll enjoy them all the more after this I think, and perhaps we'll be able to show a bit more warmth and tenderness to each other too, we'll need that."